Instant Winner?

I hate all these games and contests on almost every product you buy. Does anyone really ever win these "grand prizes?"

Remember the McDonald's Monopoly game? You'd have to collect all the different properties from the Monopoly game and then trade them in for prizes. How many times do they think someone is going to McDonald's that they would be able to collect all these pieces? Sure, it was easy to get those two purple properties, but you win like a fuckin' small coke. The big prize was getting Boardwalk and Park Place for $1,000,000. This was impossible. They probably made only one piece of each which they proceeded to send one to like Nebraska and the other to Nepal. Nobody's winning a million bucks from McDonald's.

Then you have these punch cards every time you buy a sandwich somewhere. After like 12 punches you get a free sandwich. Wouldn't you be fuckin' sick of eating this by then? It's usually at like a Philly cheese steak place. By the time you got the free one your arteries would be clogged and you'd need more than a free sandwich.

Even the lottery is rigged. Those scratch-offs are a scam. What's the most you've ever won on them $20? Here in NY they have "Win for Life." The grand prize is $1,000 a week for the rest of your life. I am certain that if you win your days are numbered because the lottery agency probably hires a hitman or a sniper two weeks after you win to rub you out so they don't have to pay. Suddenly, the breaks on your car fail, or something fucked up like that and so goes your winnings.....

They had a scratch off contest in The Daily News newspaper here in NY about a month ago. The printing company they hired fucked the whole campaign up. On the Sunday morning of the contest dozens upon dozens of people scratched off their game sheets and won $10,000 or $100,000. People were so excited and so happy until they went to claim their prize and the paper said it was a printing error. They actually got away with it because in some fine print somewhere it says they are not responsible. Imagine winning that much cash and then being told it was a mistake? I would have snapped.

They actually sell fake lottery tickets at the novelty stores in the mall. You put these in a card for someone's birthday or whatever. I played this gag on my dad a few years back. He scratched it off and was so happy thinking he won $25,000. We told him to read the back to find out where to redeeem the ticket. It was then that he realized it was a joke.....I kind of felt bad afterwards.