Monday, August 28, 2006

E-Mail "Forwards" and Chain Letters

Is anyone sick of those STUPID chain letters or forwarded e-mails that pop up in your inbox from people you know? When I see the subject heading with the letters FW in it, I cringe. Unless you are forwarding me pictures of your girlfriend naked or something really good to look at, leave me off the list!

E-chain letters have been around since e-mail began. You've seen them before: Send this e-mail to 15 people in 5 minutes and you will have good luck for a year, send it to 10 people and you will have good luck for a month, send it to 5 people and have good luck for a week, send it to no one and you die a bloody and painful death with forks jammed in your head. Ugh, I hate them so much. But...maybe my lack of forwarding e-mails along is why I work a job where I am underpaid and the reason I my life is always in chaos. I suppose that explains the 24 piece fork set protruding from my head also.

The current fad is to send that ugly yellow ribbon, the one for "Our Troops", via e-mail and say that if you don't forward it on you are a communist bastard that wants our troops to die in bloody combat in Iraq. Or maybe they are about Iraq itself and give a couple images of soldiers standing next to a child, smiling, or a guy petting an Iraqi dog. These e-mails usually say something about how God is watching over them and that if you send this e-mail to 100 people the war might end and God will come down from the Heavens and turn all Iraqi infidels into kind and caring citizens. I hate these e-mails. I delete them. Every American supports our troops, even if we are against the war. They didn't start it and have nothing to do with the bureaucrats and politicians who play a game of Risk with the world. I don't need to forward a yellow ribbon along electronically or plaster one to my car to prove I care.

As an experiment, I created a chain letter myself. I made it just as annoying full of cliche drivel such as the shit that appears in my inbox everyday. I even put "return this to me to prove that you are a good friend" like A LOT of similar e-mails. I made it so cheery and upbeat that you couldn't tell it was made by a cynical bastard like me. But here's the twist: at the end of the e-mail, in small font but plainly in sight I put the words: If you send this e-mail back to me, I'll fucking hunt you down and kill you, you piece of shit. I hope you learn to either stop forwarding messages through the internet or rot in Hell like a serial killer.

And guess what? I got the e-mail back from almost everyone I sent it to. Sigh. It's probably out infesting the world as we speak.

If you see this e-mail or any other e-mail that requires you to forward it on, do me a favor and NOT send it to me, okay? Because I WILL hunt you down and kick your ass. :)

What chain e-mail do you remember most, that was most absurd?

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

What the "Summer Wind" Blew My Way

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It is really hard to believe that there are just two "unofficial" weeks left of Summer 2006. It has really gone by in a flash. It has not been the greatest summer of all time, but it surely has had some memorable moments. I know I haven't been a good blogger since i moved back in May. I went from religiously posting daily to posting just a few days a week, if that. It's not that I've lost my humor, creativity, or desire to write, rather just a lot going on personally that has taken my attention away from this site. Anyway, as summer nears its end, I hope to get back to my writing like back in the day.

Anyway, tonight I am reflecting on the summer of 2006. I know there are still a couple of weeks left and that there will be some more memories to add to my list, but tonight I want to mention some of my favorites days/moments/experiences of summer 2006 and I'd love to hear yours as well. These are in no particular order, just what comes to mind as I write.....

* Hanging out with Tiny A in her yard and bbq'ing. What's great about Tiny A and I is the fact that we are both so passionate about food and that we both put so much effort into the feast. Her company is great, the food is great, our talks are great, she is great.

* The Yankee games I went to. Even though they lost one of the three I went to, of course the night with the kick ass seats they lose, going to the stadium is something I cherish.

* Going to the Brooklyn Cyclones game. Tiny A and I went to Brooklyn early, ate at the original Nathan's, took in the sights and sounds of Coney Island, drank in a dive bar, then went to the game. A great day indeed. Not to mention the great ride there and back complete with great music and laughs.

* The "Thirsty Thursday" party I had here a couple of weeks ago. Some work buddies came over after work and we sat in my yard and drank from 7-11pm, took sheleter from a massive thunderstorm in between, before taking in the nightlife of the bars and clubs here in the city by the sea. It was a great night.

* My walks down to "Uncle Louie's" Italian Ice store. Whether it be alone, or with a friend, the nice walk in town for a cold ice on a hot night was something I enjoyed so much this summer.

* Watching my dog Bruce swim in the bay. I got such a kick out of seeing him float and go crazy with his fellow doggies. The pics were great!

* The block party. It was a nice day and I got to see some friends I had not seen in a while, and my brother made it to Long Beach two weeks in a row!

* The Yankees sweeping 5 games at Fenway Park. Just awesome. Made my summer and hopefully got us on the right track to make it a great October!

* The day on Joe and Christina's boat. I love the ocean and to be cruising at 40MPH miles from shore was breathtaking. A gorgeous day indeed. No cell phone, no contact with anyone, just cruising the Atlantic with no worries.

* Even though it was a short email, hearing from Linda for the 1st time in a year. I miss her and her silliness.

* The Friday bbq's at work. Each Friday, I am the official "griller" at my job as we take time out to grill and enjoy a Friday summer luncheon together.

* CLUB 69! My house# is 69, so my neighbors call my house club 69 because of all the get togethers, loud music, and boozing that takes place here. The summer of '06 should be dubbed the summer of (house #) 69! So many fun moments in that front yard.

I hope the next 2 weeks bring a bunch more to add to the list. Let's hear your top moments of summer 2006!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

My "Friday"

Since I am off tomorrow (yippeee) today is my Friday. I can't wait for the nice 3 day weekend.

Saturday is the annual block party on my street. It will be my first at the house. From what I hear, it is quite a bash. Tomorrow I will be at COSTCO buying tons of food and drink and getting the yard in shape.

The theme of the party is "LUAU" and we all thought that was pretty lame. So my house, my guests, the house next door and their guests decided to be renegades and make our own theme which is the 1970's/Disco. We all will be dressing up from that era and I already burned a bunch of great disco cd's. In addition I bought colored light bulbs for the spotlights outside and a light up disco ball, my front yard will be Studio 54 come sunset. It should be a blast, I will be sure to post plenty of pictures of the party and festivities.

Oh, so we officially found out who has been calling the cops on us everytime we have a get together. It's the drunken asshole across the street and his illegal bitch of a tenant. Payback's a bitch because my friends work for City Hall and they checked with the building department about the apartment in his house, ILLEGAL!!!!!! Needless to say, the building department will be paying Scrooge a visit in the near future. Sucks to be them. They better buy earplugs because Saturday's Disco Night will be going into the wee hours of Sunday Morning.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Mixed Emotions

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Today was a "ground breaking" day here in NY. Ground was broken for the new Yankee Stadium set to open in 2009. I have some very mixed emotions about this.

There is just so much history in the current Yankee Stadium. So many memories, so many historic moments, and so many generations of Yankee fans that have entered that building. It is like tearing down a museum in a way.

The new stadium will stand right next door. Parks and ballfields for little league will stand where the current stadium stands. I have an issue with that. They should enshrine that stadium. I have a hard time dealing with some kids playing t-ball on the same field that Lou Gehrig gave his famous "Luckiest man on the face of the earth" speech, where Don Larsen, David Wells, and David Cone pitched their perfect games, where Reggie hit three homers in one World Series Game, and where Roger broke the Babe's record. It just does not seem right.

Although they are keeping the traditional look, complete with monument park, and the famous outside facade, I still can't help but be sad. Today is the 58th anniversary of Babe Ruth's death, I wonder how he'd feel........

I have so many personal memories in that stadium. So many memorable games I have seen there, so many laughs with my friends and loved ones, and it is where I saw my first baseball game. It is truly a cathedral.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

The Runs

Last night we all had a debate as to why "the runs" are called the runs. I say it is because you "run" back and forth to the bathroom to crap. My friends insist it is because the crap "runs" out of you, usually in the form of diarrhea.

Ok, you decide. I say it is the act of running to the toilet.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

One For The Books

Hey everyone! The weekend is over, and I am sad. It was definitely one for the books. My weekend started on Thursday Night with my work friends/local neighborhood friends gathering at my home for a night of serious drinking. I truly have never drank that much on a weeknight EVER. I was still up at at 'em by 6am Friday for work!

Friday I left work at 2 to get an early jump to the Yankee game. I had gotten some corporate seats right near home plate that I could not refuse. We all headed in and got to our seats in plenty of time to take in all the sights and sounds of Yankee Stadium. Although the Yanks lost Friday Night, we had a blast. I took some pics below for you all to see what amazing seats they really were.

On Saturday, my brother came to Long Beach for the day. I enjoy when he comes out to enjoy a day at the beach. We went for lunch and took in a typical Saturday here in the City By The Sea. Saturday Night, a small gathering at my house turned into an all out house party. I had about 15 people over for some food, lots of music, and tons of drinking and drinking games. The beer pong table came out and by 11:30pm, I fired up Christmas music and we all put on Santa hats and sang 45 minutes of all your favorite Christmas tunes. Needless to say, everyone who passed the house thought we were nuts and just cracked up. By 12:15am, the LBPD made its 15th trip to my home this summer to tell us to lower the music. They know all of us by now, including my dog Bruce.

Sunday, I slept in then headed out to a friends house to swim in the pool all day and we all had a nice dinner afterwards. I am home now, getting the house back in order and ready to start another work week, a shorter one, as I have a vacation day on Friday.

I hope you all enjoyed your weekend!





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Thursday, August 10, 2006

Blowing Bubbles

This is a great joke.

We all blew soap bubbles as a kid in the yard. So most people will say yes when you ask them.

Here's the joke

C-mac: Sugar V, do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Sugar V: Sure, it was fun!

C-Mac: I saw Bubbles the other day, he says hi!

hahahahahhahahahahaha

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Bruce Hits The Beach!

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Here in the "City By the Sea", Long Beach, NY....dogs are not allowed on the ocean beaches. They actually hit you with a pretty hefty fine if you are caught on the beach with your pup. I did however, manage to find out about a little cove along the bay that dogs can go in. I took Brucey there on Sunday to swim and play with the other local pups. I thought I'd share the pics with you all.

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My favorite is the top one, where he is submerged. i am not sure if he ever went that deep in water before, but he was a trip to watch.

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He spent most of his time along the shoreline just taking it all in.

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Monday, August 07, 2006

The 80's are Back?????

Happy Monday! It was a pretty good weekend over all. Got some rest in and had some fun as well.

Ok, so I loved the 80’s. I grew up in the 80’s and always hold that decade close to my heart, but some people refuse to let go of the 80’s. I went into the local deli around the corner from my house this morning for some breakfast. The woman behind the counter, whom I have never seen before, just blew my mind. She was clearly pushing 60, had that fake all-year-round tan going, she was dressed in SKIN TIGHT leggings, a tight shirt, with a Tammy Fay Baker makeup job, and a LEATHER FANNY PACK on!!!! I was like, what the fuck???? Oh, I did not mention the Blair from “Facts of Life” hairstyle she had going. All she needed was a fuckin’ Rubix Cube and a “Frankie Says Relax” T-shirt and she would have been all set! What a sight at 6:30am.

There is also a lady I see walking EVERY morning along the bike path on the Wantagh parkway that wears the “Flashdance” style shirt off the shoulders and a visor every morning. Let go already!

Have you ever heard a song first thing in the morning and it sticks in your head? While I was at the deli, “I’m Every Woman” by Chaka Khan was on the radio. It’s stuck in my head and I am trying my best not to sing it. I don’t want to get caught singing “I’m Every Woman” at the office. Gay Court would truly be in session.

Hope you all have a great Monday!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Ben Hur Hits Brooklyn

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What's the obsession with rims? I never understood how someone could go out and spend hundreds on a set of rims. Half the time, the rims are worth more thna the cars they go on.

Last Saturday, on our way to the Brooklyn Cyclones game in Brooklyn, we saw a car on the parkway that had rims like the chariot in "Ben Hur." We laughed and I just had to snap a picture of it as we cruised down the highway. I thought for certain it was going to turn into an epic chariot race down the Cross Island Parkway.

Then there are the spinning rims. I don't get that whole deal. It's not like the person who actually thinks these are cool (the driver) can see them. The rest of us who don't like them have to sit and watch these things spin at a traffic light. STUPID!!!!!!

People actually still put bumper stickers on their vehicles. Most bumper stickers are moronic. I've seen ones that say "I love clams" or "I love my dog." Who gives a flying fuck???? Take the clam out of your ass and drive a bit faster fucko! While you are at it, stop putting peanut butter on your balls so fido can lick it off and drive a bit faster!