The "Inner" Battle, Good Guy vs. Bad Guy

Dear Inner “Good Guy”-

I think it’s time you and I had a little chat. You’ve been around way too much lately and you are causing me nothing but heartache. You make me do nothing but think of others and you make me put myself and my needs last. Your emotions cloud my common sense and logic. You have been attracting nothing but bad people who take advantage or are deceitful to me. I think it’s time you take a few months off. Summer is coming and perhaps some well needed rest is in order.

I hate to say this good guy, but you are out of fashion. You are about as in style as MC Hammer Pants and a Rubix Cube. People, especially women, don’t want you around. Oh sure, they claim they do and you fall for it each and every time. You believe the lines and the sentiment and you fall into their trap. Then time after time, you come calling all upset and hurt. I won’t listen to it any longer. Get your act together. Accept the fact that you will always be the consolation prize, the case of Turtle wax to Inner “Bad Guy.” Women will always pick him first, that’s why we need him back and I want you out.

At work, you do nothing but worry about other people, put in 100% effort, bring ideas to the table, and care. Where has it gotten us this year, huh? You are lame, nice guy. You are a dinosaur. Nobody really wants you around. You are not respected and you are mocked.

In everyday life, you are nice to strangers and care about what they need and think. Guess what? They don’t give a shit about you! All they want is what you can give and nothing else. When are you going to wake up and see things for what they really are.

Inner Nice Guy, “YOU’RE FIRED!!!”

Regards,

C-Mac


Dear Inner “Bad Guy”-

Where the fuck have you been? I’ve been trying to find you for months! Since we last spoke Mr. Good Guy over there has fucked things up really badly for us! I’ve called and called and you have not answered! I need you now more than ever!

Your little vacation has caused 2005 to start off very fucked up. Mr. Nice Guy let some people take advantage of me. Now I call on you to clean things up. There are many things I will need you to assist me with in the upcoming months. I just let Mr. Nice Guy know he was fired. When can you start Bad Guy? People are calling for you, especially the females for some reason. They’ve gotten tired of Mr. Nice Guy and want you back. We’ve always gotten the best girls together haven’t we? Pretty strange huh? You’d think Mr. Nice Guy would be more successful in that area, yet you seem to come through time after time. All he is good for is letting people in our door that hurt us and do damage. You seem to bring in the ones that love us no matter what.

At work, Mr. Nice guy has really fucked us. He has done nothing but try, let people walk all over us, he even accepted a bullshit raise in December, we are in a state of emergency over here. I need you to step in and shake things up. When you’ve represented me in the past, we’ve always climbed the ladder pretty quickly haven’t we?

In everyday life I know you won’t let people take advantage. You always had a way of making me put myself first. Those were the best days….the “Glory Days.” I know we have not spent that much time together over the years because Mr. Nice Guy always seems to run the show, but I look forward to a new beginning with you. I hope you show up again soon. I’ll be waiting.

Regards,

C-Mac