And You Ladies Complain About US!

Just One Of Many Crazy Bitches 

Chalk one up for the guys. You think you ladies have it bad when a dude does not call you after a date, how would you like to be this crazy bitch's fiancee? It just goes to prove the point that I write about time after time. Being an asshole, a coward, a liar, a cheat, or whatever else isn't a male or female issue. It's a society issue. Women bitch and moan about men and vice versa, but there are bad seeds in every gender, race, religion, ethnic background, and sexual orientation. Being an asshole isn't limited to one gender or one group of people, it's rampant.

This woman apparently thought faking a kidnapping, tying up crews of police and FBI, making her family worry sick, having a community out searching for her, and probably having the town think her fiancee killed her was a better option than having the balls to meet the dude for dinner and postpone/cancel the wedding. What the fuck is wrong with people? To top it off, the police ARE NOT pressing charges!!! What the FUCK???? I'd have this bitch locked away because she's obviously not fit or sane enough to be among us walking around in society. Lying to police and putting everyone through what she did is not a crime? Since when? It's total bullshit. So ladies, next time you complain about guys, just look, we men deal with crazy shit just like you do!

Bruce Gets A Clean Bill Of Health

Bruce Visits The Vet 

This morning was Bruce's visit to the Vet for his post-rescue checkup. I am pleased to report that all tests came back great and that he is a healthy dog! The toughest part of the day was getting him into the pet carrier to take him there. At the Vet, he was loving life. He was mingling and working the room and flirting with all the female dogs. He is a real ladies dog! He got tons of attention in the waiting room from all the people too.He was eating treats, drinking water, and watching cartoons. He was great during the exam as well. I can't believe what a great dog he is. I am so pleased and happy to have Brucy Boy around. He is like my shadow though, EVERYWHERE I go, he follows me. He waits by the bathroom door when I shower, sits by the window and waits for me to return when I go someplace. He is the coolest.

The worst part of the Vet visit, the cheesy shirts the Vet and his staff wore. (See picture)!

Vodka Challenge:Taste Test

Take The Grey Goose Challenge 

Ok, so this is my first official drunken blog post. I just got in from Happy Hour up the street here in the beautiful City By The Sea, known as Long Beach, NY. Tonight, I did something different. The half price drinks helped me out on this one. I decided to take the Vodka challenge. I Had a FULL drink of EVERY Vodka the bar carried, starting with the cheapest and working my way up to top shelf. Here are my results:

The Worst:

Georgi
Leeds
Smirnoff
Finlandia

If you want a violent hangover, these are the ones to pick. Cheap at the bar, cheap at the liquor store, these will get you sick in a HURRY!

Middle Of The Road:

Absolut
Stoli
Belvedere
SKYY

These won't make you as sick, but still have an after-taste. They are par for the course

Top Of The Line:

Kettle One
Grey Goose

These have no taste, go down SMOOTH as silk! Cost a great deal more, but well worth it!

All of you that know me are aware that I have a bar in my home as large as some bars you patronize. I have a big range of vodkas on hand as well as 100's of other liquors. On top of that, I am indeed a NYS licensed bartender. Grey Goose is the way to go when ordering a Vodka drink. Great taste, and NO hangover! Off to shower and head back into town for a crrrrrrrrrrrrazy night! later peeps!

Buried Treasure, My ASS

The Go Directly to Jail, Asshole! 

When I wrote about this story two days ago, it sounded fishy. You remember this white trash dude claimed he was digging in his backyard and he found a century old box filled with money, gold certificates, and silver certificates? It turns out he and his buddy are roofers and they found/stole this box from the rafters of a roof that they were working on at someone's home. Instead of just taking the money, which they would have gotten away with cleanly, these assholes decide to go on a TV show tour and brag. Not only did they brag, but their story on how they found the box was different on every show. Police caught on, brought them in for questioning, and one of the dudes ratted them out and confessed. REAL BRIGHT!

Lesson 1: If you find/steal money and make off with $100,000 that even the owner of the house didn't know existed, SHUT THE FUCK UP! Don't go on Regis and Kelly, Good Morning America, The Today Show or Nightline, just go to the fuckin' bank dumbass!

Lesson #2: When telling a lie, stick to ONE story! Don't put yourself on national TV telling a dozen versions of how you supposedly found the cash. Even a kid who reads Nancy Drew can figure this one out!

Lesson #3: Don't rat your friends out. Lie all the way to trial! Once you confess it's OVER!

I am curious if they were at least smart enough to dig a hole in the backyard they claimed to have dug this up from.......from what I've seen so far, probably not.

I would have just told the bank the bills were so old B/c my grandfather passed away years ago and left me the money and I didn't have the heart to cash it in years ago, but now I am broke and want to cash it in. At least come up with something believable!

Good Sport, Good Guy

The Sugar V, Hangin' Tough! 

I must say, the Sugar V is a good sport. I've played joke after joke on this poor bastard over the last few months and he still actually talks to me. Maybe he has pity for a fool like me, maybe it's just the candy dish on my desk. Regardless, he is a good sport and a great guy and this post is dedicated to him.

Before I left work yesterday for my four day weekend, I decorated his cubicle in "New Kids On The Block" pictures and memorabilia that I got off the internet. The picture above is the view from my office to his work area. You can see all the papers hanging all over, those are indeed photos of the boy band! I then proceeded (with some help) to autograph these photos as if the band themself autographed it thanking the Sugar V for his support of the band. It was quite fun to do.

This follows decorating his cubicle with "Neverland Ranch" photos, Saran wrapping his phone, hiding his jacket, switching his chairs, switching all the keys around on his keyboard, taking the rollerball out of his mouse, and various other fun stuff. He has gotten me back here and there and it makes work fun.

What can I say about the Sugar V? He is a great guy. He's the one who got me started on the blogging back in January. "Bored At The Beach" owes it all to him. The Sugar V has been a great friend the last six months or so, since I got to really know him. He is not a friend who bullshits you or says what you want to hear. He tells you things like they are, something/someone we all need in our lives. He is always there to offer a logical and thought provoking view of the world, of people, and of life. He has been there for me through some difficult dilemmas and has always listened and showcased a perspective on things that I may have not seen otherwise. He makes a very dull work environment fun and enjoyable. I am lucky to have gotten to know him. It's difficult to "make new friends" once you get to be about 30 or so. Everyone seems to have their own lives and agendas to deal with and most of the time people don't extend themselves the way he has. I declare today National SUGAR V DAY! Your friendship is appreciated. Thanks to the Sugar V, C-Mac is "Hangin' Tough" at a dull job. The Sugar V has "The Right Stuff" to make everyone's day a bit more enjoyable.

Something Shady In Ohio.....Again!

More Lives Than Morris the Cat 

It wasn't enough that Ohio was the state that tipped the scale in Bush's favor last November to screw us for four more years. Now Ohio is up to no good again!

This Scott dude from American Idol has to go! This guy should have been gone WEEKS ago! What the hell is going on? He can't sing, he can't dance, he is useless! I thought the domestic violence arrest report that came out a few weeks ago would have done him in, but NOOOOOO, we have to look at this guy some more! What's wrong with OHIO??? Is the entire state calling in for this guy weekly? That's the ONLY way he can be surviving at this point. The talent pool in this year's contest is not as good as years past, but that's no excuse. This dude needs to go! "Dance With My Father" MY ASS, YOU BLOW!

Ohio, you fucked us once last November, have MERCY on us and stop calling in for this guy!

Bring Your Kid to Work Day

Today is bring your child to work day here at my company. Hopefully they will binge on the 15lbs of candy I have in my office so I can get rid of it all. By 3PM the offices will surely be trashed.

As far as I know, I have no children.(haha) I am pretty sure there are no little C-Macs running around anywhere. I think the Maury show would have called me for a paternity test already! I wonder what they would have said if I brought Bruce in today. After all, he's kinda like my new child.

I have not had a dog since I moved out of my parent's home for good at age 19. I forgot how much care and responsibility it is. Believe me, I love it and it's no hassle when you love someone or something. Which brings me to my point. When you go to adopt a pet you get screened and a bit scrutinized, yet anyone can just bang and have a baby with no questions asked. Each day on the news we see horror stories involving innocent children and the poor care many kids receive. I just don't understand it. All kinds of people have kids, immature people, mentally/emotionally unstable people, people who can't afford them, abusive people, etc. It is frightening. Adults should realize that the things they do to kids stay with them for LIFE. There's no erasing it from a kid's memory or life. This is why I don't understand why people who know deep down that they are not suited for children, have them anyway. Couples yell and fight in front of kids, and do all kinds of things that kids should not be seeing. It's really scary.

What amazes me is when two really great people try and try to have kids and they can't get pregnant, yet two 15 year olds bang, or two people that aren't very suited for children, and they get pregnant right away. Is this a big joke from God? Is he up there laughing at us? I just don't get it.

It's good to see the kids parading through here today with smiles on their faces. Hopefully they will all have fun here and learn something today. I hope the biggest lesson they learn today is to not grow up too fast and enjoy the times they are having right now. Time goes way too fast and they should not be in any rush to jump into our "real" world.

Jackpot

The White Trash Jackpot 

Can you believe this story? These dudes dig in their yard and find a box full of money. The box is about a century old containing cash, gold certificates, and silver certificates. It's estimated to be worth about $100,000! This guy can finally take a shower and get himself some new clothes, and maybe move out of his trailer home. What the hell? I dig in my yard, it's dog shit, rocks, and maybe some buried tin cans. Talk about luck.....digging and finding $100,000. This dude can step it up from Old Milwaukee Beer to maybe Budweiser. He can throw away his 12" black and white TV with the rabbit ear antenna and get himself a nice color set. Maybe throw out that spaghetti sauce stained wife beater and get himself a new pack of wife beaters. Some guys have all the luck.....

Small Talk

If there's one thing that annoys me more than anything it's idle chit chat. You know, small talk. You run into someone you sort of know on the street and you feel obligated to stop and listen to their small talk. It annoys me. I am a friendly guy, but I enjoy good conversation. The stop and chat and the small talk irritates me.

Even on the phone, I call vendors and suppliers all day and all they do is make small talk. The standard small talk is the weather chat. Suddenly everyone becomes a meteorologist and wants to discuss weather and weather patterns of the last six months. "Oh bad winter we had, huh?" they say. Just take my order or have something interesting to talk about! I'm not saying I have to have "deep" conversation with strangers, but at least make it interesting! If I want the weather forecast, I'll look out the window or turn on the TV!

If I run into you on the street or call you on the phone, humor me. Say something clever and somewhat interesting. Most of all, when telling a story, HAVE A POINT! It makes it so much more enjoyable for the listener!

Another Amazing CD

Devils & Dust in stores 4/26 

I've always admired Bruce Springsteen's work. He has a way of connecting with all of us. He writes about things we have all dealt with in our lives from sadness, to heartbreak, to loss, to happiness and memorable times. I own every CD Bruce has ever put out and have seen him over 15 times in concert. His 3-4 hour shows leave you physically and emotionally drained. I've seen about 50 different famous bands in concert in my life, nobody has come close to the shows Bruce puts on.

Shortly after the tragic events of 9/11/01 Bruce was driving in his home state of NJ feeling what we were all feeling at the time. Bruce was approached time after time by residents and strangers. They all had the same message, "Bruce, we need you now." Bruce went to work and released "The Rising" in July of 2002. This was one of the most amazing albums of our time. On "The Rising" he speaks of loss, tragedy, hope, faith, and the human spirit. "The Rising" is a very personal album for me and i cherish it.

Three years and two tours later, Bruce is back with "Devils and Dust." This is a solo album without his famous E Street Band. I've heard some of the songs and seen him on VH1 Storytellers talking about his new work. From what I saw, this appears to be another winner.

In the title track "Devils and Dust" Bruce speaks about the war in Iraq and gives us a look inside the mind of a soldier and the decisons that have to be made there. Here are the amazing lyrics:

Got my finger on the trigger
But I don't know who to trust
I look into your eyes
There's just devils and dust

We're a long, long way from home Bob
Home's a long, long way from us
Feel the dirty winds blowin'
Devils and dust

I got God on my side
I'm just trying to survive
But if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love

Fear is a powerful thing
It can turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust

Well I dreamed of you last night
In a field of blood and stone
Blood began to dry
And a smell began to rise

Well I dreamed of you last night Mom
In a field of mud and bone
And your blood began to dry
The smell began to rise

Got God on our side
We're just trying to survive
But if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love

Fear is a powerful thing
It'll turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust

Now every woman and every man
They wanna take your right to stand
Find the love with God wills
The faith that He commands

I've got my finger on the trigger
Tonight faith just ain't enough
And I look inside my heart
There's just devils and dust

But I've got God on my side
And I'm just trying to survive
But if what you do to survive
Kills the things you love

Fear is a dangerous thing
It'll turn your heart black you can trust
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust
It'll take your God-filled soul
Fill it with devils and dust

Check out the new Bruce CD, in stores Tuesday, April 26th! :)

Bologna Smuggler Caught

No Phoney Bologna 

It's good to see that US Customs and Homeland Security are right on top of things. They caught a dude smuggling 845lbs. of bologna into the United States from Mexico. There were 80 rolls of bologna in his suitcases mixed in with his clothes. I'm sure the nasty smell alone gave this dude away. Did he think the bologna sniffing dogs weren't going to find this? He apparently was going to sell this bologna at a swap meet. Now that's a new one, peddling bologna. Why haven't I thought of this? There's a TON of cash in bologna sales. MMMMM nothing like bologna that was mixed in with some Mexican dude's dirty boxers. Yummy.

Meanwhile, I'm sure 100 illegals crossed the border with guns and weapons while the bologna task force attented to this big find. The guy was actually on a bus on his way to Albuquerque when they stopped at a checkpoint and the bologna was found. I'm sure the bologna smuggler had that famous Bugs Bunny quote in his head when he hit the checkpoint....."I knew that I should have made a left turn at Albuquerque!!!!"

We Never Learn

Friends Forever.......Like Father Like Son 

With gas prices continuing to soar, President Bush feels the solution is to meet with Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah to kindly ask him to increase production in order to get prices down. First Congress decided to drill up the Alaskan Wildlife Refuge and now Bush meets with this clown. When are we going to realize that these are not long term solutions?

The solution to the problem is to offer incentives to corporations to develop and implement technologies for their products that don't require gas/oil to operate. Then offer incentives to consumers to purchase these products. Our entire foreign policy revolves around oil, isn't enough enough already? In all fairness to Bush, no President thus far has taken an aggressive stance to eliminate our dependency on foreign oil. The time is now. But honestly, how can we expect an oil man President to go against his financial interests to do what's best for the country? He won't.

People are under the impression that Bin Laden orchestrated attacks against us nearly four years ago because he hates our way of life. You know, he stumbled across the US Constitution one day in his cave and became jealous and outraged and said that he had to put a stop to this. The reason we were attacked and these people hate us is simple. They are pissed off after years and years of US aggression and policy which revolves entirely around oil. If we developed,IMPLEMENTED,and FORCED companies to produce these non-oil related products, our foreign policy problems would be much easier to solve. When is someone going to wake up and get us on the right track?

Strike A Pose

Bruce's Sunday Morning Pose 

Bruce is adjusting to life at the shore. He woke up at 6AM ready for his walk. I got up dazed and took him for a walk in the fog and mist. He took it easy today and is LOVING the new doggie bed purchased for him today. He is spoiled already, a total of $300.00 on beds, leashes, collars, toys, and other doggie treats. It's almost 8PM and he is snoring away in his little bed with the bone shaped pillow. Hopefully he won't be wide awake when it's MY bedtime!

That's the Bruce update. Off to watch "The Contender." Back to work and some non-Bruce blogging tomorrow! Night everyone.

A Dog It Is!!!!!!

Bruce's First Moments In Long Beach 

Meet Bruce, the newest member of the C-Mac family. I adopted him today around 4PM. He is loving his new home and life by the shore. Bruce is a hound mix. He looks like a beagle, at least that's what everyone who has seen him so far has said. Perhaps he has some beagle in him. He is adorable isn't he?

Bruce was up for adoption at an animal shelter in Wantagh, a town not too far from here. He was abandoned and was in the shelter for about three weeks. According to the workers at the shelter, he is three years old. His profile was posted on their website and I saw it this morning and went to check him out. The minute I saw him I loved him. He was friendly but he was scared. He barked a great deal and I thought he may be too hyper a dog for me. After a while he calmed down and the decision to take him was an easy one. Once he got in the car he was loving life again. Straight to the pet store we went for food, a bowl, toys, and all kinds of doggie stuff.

After the pet store he came home to his new house. He checked out every room and started running all over. He ate some dinner then went for a walk. Then I went to dinner for an hour or two. When I came home he was so happy and excited. He did, however, tear up the vertical blinds, but it's his first day here and those can be replaced. Maybe it wasn't wise to leave him alone so soon but I wanted to give him a little taste of running the house alone because he will have to get used to it when I go to work. I took him for a little jog in the light rain, now he is snoring on the couch in the den. I am sure he is loving this life compared to a life in a cage. Hopefully the sun will be out and he can take in the sights and sounds of Long Beach tomorrow.

The name Bruce was chosen for none other than "The Boss" himself, Bruce Springsteen. A new dog named Bruce today and a new "Bruce" cd this coming Tuesday.....a good week indeed.

Dog or Cat?

I love both dogs and cats. I like dogs better, but cats are less maintenance than dogs. I am thinking about adopting a pet this weekend...they are having this big pet drive at the North Shore Animal League. What should I get? It's hard to pick!

I woke up to Channel 7 Eyewitness News this morning here in NY and they were showing all the animals up for adoption live from there....decisions.

Line of the Day

The Human Resources dude just came into my office and said to me "Charlie there's a financial presentation going on in the conference room about making your money work for you, if you'd like to attend." I said "what money?" He laughed and I said "Maybe if I had made some money here, perhaps I'd join you and see how I could get my money to work for me." It was quite humorous seeing the look on his face. I'll probably be fired later.

Stupid Things I've Done While Drunk

I was talking to a friend this morning about the history of our drunkenness. We got to talking about the wackiest shit we've ever done while drunk...here are a few of my favorites:

10)The standard calling of the ex-girlfriend or ex-booty call. You always regret these calls the next day and for weeks to come. I have a policy now, if you don't speak to someone for two months after you have dated/hooked up, their number comes out of the phone to avoid these late night follies.

9)Passing out on the floor of a Bennigan's bathroom on my 25th birthday. Not the nicest place to rest your weary head. A bottle of Absolute after two 40oz Buds will do that to you.

8)Told my girlfriend's (at the time) indentical twin sister that I couldn't wait to have sex with her later that night. I thought it was my girlfriend, not her sister..there were no hard feelings, thankfully.

7)Invited a bunch of thugs into my house for Alize and Henessey that were passing through the neighborhood. Glad I wasn't robbed later in the week!

6)Rode bikes with my friend Melissa to and up on the boardwalk when both of us were too drunk to even stand. Not a smart idea. I think she may still have a scar on her knee from this.

5)Climbed off my deck and onto the roof, which is very steep and narrow to dance to the Humpty Dance at last years birthday (C-Macapalooza)party.

4)Played beer pong with Hennessey. I don't recommend this! :(

3)Poured white baby powder all over the hardwood floors of my last house so me and my friends could skate in socks and play hockey in the house in winter. Many injuries that night. It took weeks to get all that powder up.

2)Chicken bowling. We had a long hall in my last house. We took empty beer bottles and put them at the end of the hall as pins. We then took a frozen whole chicken out of the freezer and played bowling. Quite fun.

1) The oven mitt. Ok, so it's 3am at C-Macapalooza 2003 and we are all shitfaced. We are all in my backyard being VERY loud. One of the neighbors must have called the police. I was dancing/moonwalking to Billie Jean by Michael Jackson, using an oven mitt as the "glove" to do the moves and grab my crotch. Just as I did the spin move and turned around, 2 cops were standing there laughing their asses off. Needless to say, they stayed a bit, had some food and chilled, they wanted to see what other moves we had up our sleeves.

Drunken stories rock...I want to hear yours!

Good Mood?

It may be because it is Friday. It may be because the sun is shining (for now). It may have been my summer CD I was playing in the car today. Whatever it is, I am in a good mood today. For me to be here at the office and be in a good mood is quite rare. I am usually very cheerful outside of this office or with select people here at the office, but normally I dread coming here. But today, for some reason, I am feeling on top of the world. I am sure I'll fall right off my mountain as soon as the first wave of work comes or someone does something to piss me off over here. I've been feeling great the past two weeks, both mentally and physically. I think it's been the change of weather and the intense running I've been doing. Both create a high for me that is hard to explain.

I was driving in this morning, playing my summer CD and thinking about the fun ahead in the next few months. I was thinking about the Saturdays on the beach, the Yankee games, the bbq's, the nights out and about in Long Beach, the parties, and everything else that is summer. I really can't wait!

Today I should be like the Bubble Boy and put plastic around my office so nobody can put me in a bad mood. I may have some saran wrap around here somewhere. Just a little bubble, where I can enjoy my good mood without anyone ruining it. Although around here, I could armor my office and stress and grief would still find a way penetrate it, so I suppose saran wrap won't do the trick. Just don't be the one to piss me off and "burst my bubble" today! :)

Products and Technology In Our Lifetime

Think of all the technology and products that have been made available to the public since we were born. There are so many things that have either been invented or made available to the common person in our lifetime. We have so many things around us daily that we take for granted that weren't even available to the average person, and in some cases, to anyone, back when we were kids 20 years ago. I thought of a quick list of some of the things that are so common now that we probably take for granted:

The Internet: We just log on daily without even thinking. We blog away, e-mail, and do most of our daily functions online. Can you even remember life without it?

The Microwave Oven: Although this was invented a long time ago, the microwave oven became commonplace in the 1980's. I do remember being a small child before the microwave. Heating things up took forever! TV dinners took like an hour in the oven!

The VCR: Another 1980's boom. Before the VCR, if you were out and missed your show, tough luck! The VCR made it easier to catch up on your shows and to see movies you missed at the theaters.

Cell Phones: This tehnology was around during the Vietnam War, but not really made very available to the average person until the mid 90's. Ten year olds walk around with these now. We've come a long way with these just in the past 10 years.

CD/CD Player: I clearly remember the cassette tape and the vinyl album. Both were cool, but the first time I heard a CD, I was hooked. The quality was amazing.

IPOD: Personal electronics at it's finest. The idea of carrying 10,000 songs with you still blows my mind.

Digital Camera: Taking pictures without fumbling for film or heading to the local drug store to have the film developed. How cool is this?

Camcorder: Another 1980's big hit. The average family was able to catch some memorable moments on tape and just pop it into your VCR for viewing right after. This was exciting when it first was affordable to the average Joe.

Cable TV/Satellite TV: Where would we be without this? MTV put many artists on the map, movies, cooking channels, home improvements, nature, you name it, there's a channel for everyone.

Walkman: This started the personal electronic gadget craze. Back in the early 80's you were cutting edge if you paraded around with one of these.

ATM Machine: No more waiting on lines at the bank to withdraw $40.00! How did we survive before these? I don't think I've physically been in my bank in over two years.

Calculator: This was more a mid to late 70's deal. They were downright expensive when they first came out. Now you can get one for $5.

Fax Machine: Before e-mail, the internet, and the scanner, faxes were the shit. I was fascinated by the fax when they first came out. That an image of a document could be transmitted through wires to someone else.....wow. Now it's like whatever.

UPC Barcode Scanners: Remember stores before the scanners? They would hand ring everything. If something did not have a price sticker on it, they would call for a price and the line would never move.

DVD: The VCR on a whole new level. Who does not love the DVD???

All these things became mainstream in our lifetime. Not a bad time to be alive, huh? I wonder what things we'll be adding to the list 20 years from now that have not even been thought of yet. I couldn't picture life without any of these today. Did I miss any good ones?

Personality Test

Thanks Liz, for the link...here are my results....

According to the test, I just want to be neat, eat, get laid, and romance women....sounds good to me!

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion 70% Stability 40% Orderliness 70% Empathy 50% Interdependence 33% Intellectual 73% Mystical 36% Artistic 43% Religious 23% Hedonism 36% Materialism 43% Narcissism 43% Adventurousness 36% Work ethic 50% Self absorbed 43% Conflict seeking 50% Need to dominate 50% Romantic 83% Avoidant 23% Anti-authority 70% Wealth 43% Dependency 50% Change averse 43% Cautiousness 43% Individuality 70% Sexuality 90% Peter pan complex 43% Physical security 70% Food indulgent 70% Histrionic 56% Paranoia 50% Vanity 50% Hypersensitivity 70% Female cliche 43%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were high which suggests you are overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense too often of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.

Extraversion results were high which suggests you are overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense too often of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

Trait Snapshot:

clean, self revealing, open, organized, outgoing, social, enjoys leadership and managing others, dominant, makes friends easily, does not like to be alone, assertive, hard working, finisher, optimistic, positive, likes to stand out, likes large parties, respects authority, practical, high self esteem, perfectionist, dislikes chaos, busy, not familiar with the dark side of life, controlling, high self control, traditional, tough, likes to fit in, conforming, brutally honest, takes precautions

Now Batting......

If you are into Major League Baseball, you know that in almost every stadium now, players get to choose what song plays over the stadium PA while their name is announced and they step up to the plate. I was thinking of some songs I'd want playing as they announce, "Now batting....first baseman, #23, Charlie Mc".......

1) "Blow It Out Your Ass" Ludacris

2) "Heartache Tonight" The Eagles

3) "Lose Yourself" Eminem

4) "Move Bitch (Get out Da' Way) Ludacris

5) "Freak A Leek" Petey Pablo

6) "Me Against The World" Tupac

7) "Eye of the Tiger" Survivor

8) "Juicy" Notorious BIG

9) "The Message" Grandmaster Flash

10)"Run to the Hills" Iron Maiden

How about you guys?

I know Sugar V would have "It's Raining Men" or some Neil Diamond Song.....

$205 Million

I am not a lottery player. The only thing I really gamble on is football during the fall and winter and that's not really for any big stakes. I am not a person who is obsessed with money by any means. I think people place too much emphasis on money and "things" that they have. Money surely can't buy health or happiness....but it can help you do things you couldn't do without it. The NYS Mega Millions jackpot is $205 million dollars tomorrow. I may just play for the hell of it. I am sure I won't win, but I was just thinking about what I would do with all that money......

1) Buy a nice house (nothing crazy, just something nice)
2) Buy houses for my parents and brother
3) Pay off all my family member's and close friends' bills
4) Buy a couple of cars for myself (nothing crazy like a Ferrari)
5) QUIT THIS JOB
6) Do some traveling
7) Go back to school and become a radio DJ, even if it's for like 18k a year overnight somewhere in some hick state.
8) I would seek out families in need that have medical bills, or other financial struggles, and help them out.
9) Invest a good portion of it
10) Buy lots of things for the people I care about

I really would not want $205 million dollars, maybe just $2 million. Money is short term happiness. It can't get you well if you have a disease with no cure, it can't make you genuinely happy if you aren't, it can't bring back a loved one that has passed on, it can't make someone you love, love you back if they don't feel it too, and it can't erase everything that's happened to you in your life. All it can do is allow you to have things you couldn't maybe have without it. That's not real happiness though.

Flintstones, Meet the Flintstones....

How Did They All Fit In Here? 

I would have to say that The Flintstones was my favorite cartoon growing up. I always loved watching them and I knew like every episode. There were a few things about them that I still wonder about until this very day:

1) How did that 80lb waitress carry and throw that HUGE rib that was heavy enough to flip their car with ALL of them in it?

2) Did they ever eat the rib?

3) At the end of the show, Fred locks the cat outside, the cat climbs through the window (hole in the side of the cave) and grabs Fred and tosses him out. Fred then proceeds to yell and cry like a bitch for Wilma to let him in. Why doesn't he just climb through the window?

4) When they got on the bus, it was just everyone holding up the sides of the bus and using their feet at a slow pace to move it, why not just walk? You'd be doing the same thing without having to lug that big ass stone bus.

5) How did they all cram into one car? (see picture)

6) Why didn't they ever smack the shit out of those wise ass appliance animals? Like the mammoth shower, the bird record player, the fluffy bird feather duster, etc. They were all wise asses.

7) What exactly is hoppa-roo? Is he part kangaroo, what the fuck is he?

8) The Great Gazoo, he was one wacky fucker huh? Everything about him made me wonder.

9) Did Wilma have an eating disorder?

10) Why was Fred's and Barney's voice different in different episodes?

11) What possessed Barney to cross dress for those Fruity and Cocoa Pebbles commercials?

12) How is Bam Bam the offspring of Barney and Betty? Betty is a scrawny-ass bitch and Barney is a short pudgy wimp......maybe a cactus juiceman involved here?

Just some points to ponder about these wacky cave dwelling folks.

Mental vs. Physical Stress

On a daily basis we all deal with stress. Some of us have jobs that require lots of physical activity that is stressful on our bodies. Others deal with mental stress daily. Both kinds of stress are not good, but I would much rather deal with physical stress than mental stress.

At my current job, I work in front of a computer all day. A good deal of my work is on the phone with vendors and involves negotiation and lots of interaction. I also interact with the scientists here on site and procure the supplies and equipment they need to perform their daily work. The job is not that difficult and can be fun. The mental stress of the politics, games, and other office bullshit is what wears me down mentally each day. I find that takes more of a toll on me than anything physical I do or have done in the past.

In the past I've worked jobs where I've been on my feet for 12-18 hour days, lifting, and using physical strength. I go home more tired from the mental stress here than I ever did working physically. I think mental stress takes more of a toll on me than anything. I can run 10 miles, lift, work physically and it never bothers me. Dealing with people's shenanigans, office politics, and things like that absolutely wears me out after a while.

I think I am mentally strong. I've dealt with my share both at work and in my personal life, as have all of you. I definitely can take a great deal of mental stress, but I definitely have to say, it wears me down and takes its toll more than anything physically. It's fascinating how different people deal with each kind of stress. Some people snap, or crack under the pressure, some people seek therapy to talk things out, some people keep things to themselves, etc. That show "Fear Factor" (as stupid as it is) is a good example. Some people excel at the physical stuff, but when it comes to the mental stuff they psych themselves out or vice versa.

What are you better able to deal with, physical or mental stress?

Piggie Smalls and His Biotch

Heavy Hitter.....Suckaaaaaaaaaaaa! 

Yes indeed, Piggie Smalls has found a woman. It did not take him long to find money, women, and booze. He bought himself a slick stocking cap, some booze, and a little "FITTY CENT" music. We just need to name his woman. Piggy Elliot? Piggy J. Blige? Me and Piggie Smalls are open for suggestions. Piggie Smalls endorses safe sex, he wants no baby's Momma Drama. So all you young boys out there, cover up! Piggie's livin' da' thug life here in da' LBC. Piggie Smalls is a hustla by day and a P-I-M-P by night. If only we could all live his lifestyle.....

Piggie, Piggie, Piggie...can't you see..........

That SUCKED!

All day at work my little weather meter on the left said calm winds, or at most, 5MPH winds. Of course, by the time I got off work and changed into my running clothes and headed down the block to the beach/boardwalk to run, the winds were at 22MPH. Not just a regular 22MPH wind from ONE direction where you can at least get one half of the run in with the wind at your back. NOPE. This wind was a SWIRLING 22MPH wind that was in my face the entire run. That 7 miles felt like 17! I am wiped out...off to shower. A green pig update forthcoming...........

Advice

Why is it that we can give such great advice to our friends and loved ones, but when when WE are faced with these same situations we can't take our own advice? Is it because it's easy to give advice when you are not mentally or emotionally attached to a situation, person, or event? That must be it. I am a master at giving sound, logical advice. But, when it comes to my situations, I can't follow what I know is the right thing because emotions cloud my judgments sometimes. Is this normal for everyone, or am I just messed up?

I enjoy giving advice. Sure, I am relatively young and have a ton to learn yet, but the advantage I think I have in the advice department is my experience with people. I was managing people in the business world at age 18. I managed people from all walks of life, all races, religions, ages, and personal situations. I listened to and learned from these people. I realized when I was younger that people have different strengths and weaknesses and that there is good in everyone. I may be still naive in the sense that I will always look for and focus on the good in a person. Sure, I see the bad stuff too, but it's the glimmer of good, even in a "bad" person that fascinates me. I really think there is good in all of us, genuine good. I think this goodness gets hidden or supressed by events in someone's life. It's still there, just not shown as much as it probably should be. I am a pretty good judge of someone's character. Sure, I've been wrong. We all get first impressions of people we think are assholes that turn out to be great. We also get first impressions of people and think they are amazing until we scratch below the surface. Occasionally, the radar goes off-line. But, more times than not, I am pretty good at it.

Do you feel confident or comfortable giving a close friend advice? Do you ever fear he/she will take that advice and it will turn out to be wrong? Personally, I listen to advice, analyze it, but I ALMOST always follow my heart or my gut instinct. Sometimes I am right, sometimes I wish I had listened to someone else....all part of the voyage we know as life.

I used to follow my heart, not my brain. Now I try to be more logical and my logic supersedes my heart. I don't like it. I think when I used to follow my heart, I had better results. I guess it's the fear of being hurt, rejected, or something else that's bad that makes me this way now. If I followed my heart, I'd be making different choices than I have been lately.

Love to hear your opinions on advice and on following your heart or logic.....

Just A Guy and His Green Pig

What's Up In Da' Hizzhouse Bitch? 

I made a new friend today. A green pig walked into my life. It caught me off guard. I was working hard and it appeared out of nowhere. It claimed it needed a home, a place to rest it's weary head. I told it that it could stay in my office for as long as I am there. It told me that it likes booze, money, and bitches. It sleeps all day and parties all night. It is a welcome addition to a quiet and dull work existence. Tom Hanks had his Wilson, I have my little green pig.

"I Saw The Sign, and It Opened Up My Eyes"

Yeah, like this is going to work.... 

I mean really now, is this sign in the bathroom really going to make the six out of ten people who choose to not wash their hands after using the bathroom think about it? I'm sure this is going to stop them dead in their tracks and give them instant hygiene awareness. It's stupidity like this that I see daily that just cracks me up. Should we really require a sign to let people know that they SHOULD wash their hands after wiping their ass? If we need to post a sign.....I think that says it all.

The Songs We Hate

I am a HUGE music fan, as you all know. I was thinking about songs that annoy the shit out of me, songs that are the WORST of all time. Here are a few that I despise:

"The Macarena"
"I'm Too Sexy" Right said Fred
"I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" The Proclaimers
"Wannabe" The Spice Girls
"MMMMMBOP" Hanson
"Tennessee" Arrested Development
"Everything I Do, I Do It For You" Bryan Adams
"When I See You Smile" Bad English
"Material Girl" Madonna
"It's Raining Men" The Weather Girls (SUGAR v's Favorite)
"Cotton Eye Joe" (No Idea Who Sings This)

Ok, I want to hear yours.........

Stupid, Clueless, or Inconsiderate?

I just got back to the office from a quick run to the local supermarket. I was craving grapes. So, I get on the "express" line and there are like 8 people waiting in line and nobody's moving. Of course, it's ONE asshole holding up the whole line. She's digging through her change purse for fuckin' pennies to give the cashier exact change.(STRIKE ONE)If that wasn't bad enough, she then looks over her receipt and refuses to move to allow the next customer in line to get to the checkout spot. (STRIKE TWO) She finally moves and wheels her cart (with one bag in it) to the parking lot where she stops in the middle of the traffic lane of the parking lot to once again review her receipt. Cars are just sitting there waiting to drive while she is perusing her recipt. (STRIKE THREE, BITCH!) What is wrong with people? Are they stupid, clueless, or just simply inconsiderate?

Activity Times......

I know every time of the day is a good time for sex, but different people have different preferences as to when they like it the most. Personally, I am a night guy myself. Even though I may be tired from a long day, it's still my favorite time. It's a good way to end the day and feel close to the one you care about. Really anytime of day is good for sex, but my least favorite is first thing in the morning. For starters, I like to just keep to myself most of the time in the morning. Secondly, I don't feel myself when I first wake up. I don't have the energy I should, I haven't brushed my teeth yet, and all that fun stuff. Not that I'd turn down sex in the morning, I am just saying if I had to choose it would be ANY time of day after say, 10AM. I must say that when you do have sex first thing in the morning then head off to work or where ever, you do feel a bit more awake and energized. So, morning sex is not all that bad, but later in the day still is much better in my opinion.

I guess I am kind of like that with running and exercise too. I would much rather run in the afternoon or evening. I don't have the energy first thing. Of all the races I've ever run, my best times were in the afternoon or evening, while my slowest times have been early morning races. I suppose I enjoy all my activities later on in the day......

First Out of the Gate

For as long as I can remember and at almost every job I have ever had, I always get to work about 45 minutes to an hour early daily. I enjoy the hour or so with very few people around. I like to come in and open up my computer windows, put on my music, and ease into the day. By the time everyone gets here at the scheduled time, I am already fully mentally adjusted and ready to go. I like the morning chats with the Sugar V, the music, a little blogging, an e-mail or two, then the transition to work mode. The early start also allows me to beat a good portion of the traffic and makes my ride in more pleasant. I am sort of like a boxer before heading into the ring, I like the time to collect my thoughts and pump myself up for what lies ahead. Sure, I give these bastards a free hour a day, but for my sanity, it's worth it. I do, however, bolt at the scheduled time of departure...you can set your watch to that!

"Every Little Thing, Gonna Be Alright"

No Need To Panic Yankee Fans! 

Well, the NY media and fans are already in panic mode. Our beloved Yankees have started the season 4-8. The owner, Mr. Steinbrenner is already flipping out, but stay calm Yankee fans! If you think back to last year, we got off to an awful start and won the division. Sure, we blew it in the playoffs, but we won the division for the seventh year in a row and will win our eighth division in a row in 2005. It's still early and NY always prevails!

Outrageous!!!

Do I get a blowjob with this? 


It gets worse every time I fill up. These are the current gas prices in town as of an hour ago. What the fuck is going on? When are the people going to revolt already???

Bandwagon Fans

I just got in from my run down on the boardwalk, what an amazing day it is outside. Before I hop in the shower and carry on with this amazing day I wanted to jot down a quick thought.

I absolutely DESPISE bandwagon fans. People who like a team and "represent" them with clothing, decorations, or whatever when a team is doing well. When the team sucks, everyone jumps ship. I must have seen two dozen people all of a sudden wearing NY METS clothing and hats up on the beach today. I haven't seen 24 people wearing METS hats or clothing combined in the last FIVE years. This year they add a couple of "star" players and win SIX games in a row and all of a sudden their fans come crawling out from under rocks. I hate that shit. I've been a Yankee fan since I could walk and talk. From 1981-1995 they did not make the playoffs ONCE. They were one of the worst teams in the league from 1989-1992, yet I still went to their games, wore their hat, and was proud to be a Yankee fan. I sat in Yankee stadium during those years and watched them get their asses handed to them by lowly teams like the KC Royals. I still had pride and let it be known I was a Yankee fan.

I am the same with my NY Islander hockey team. From 1995-2002 they were the laughing stock of the NHL, yet I still supported the team by going to the games and was proud to be a fan of the team that represents Long Island in the NHL. I did not walk around wearing NJ Devils gear because they won two Stanley Cups in that stretch of time. I hate people like that.

We definitely have too many Lakers, Cowboys, Packers, Steelers, and Red Sox "fans" walking around here in NY. When these teams go into a tailspin, suddenly nobody wants to be associated with them! Pick a team and stick with them through thick and thin!!!!

My Favorite Quote

"There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?"- Robert F. Kennedy

I've always loved this quote. There are many people that face things and always wonder why or why me. People that just question things and don't look or act beyond their questioning. Then there are those who think of things that nobody else has thought of and say why not, why can't this be, and take action to see it happen. Which person are you?

The Restaurant Birthday Song

Can't you go anywhere to dine now without having to hear 15 waiters and waitresses sing their version of "Happy Birthday?" I was at a great Italian restaurant last night and they even had to sing their version of the douche bag birthday song there. It's annoying! I don't mind if it's for a small child who is being taken out by their parents or grandparents for their birthday, let the kid enjoy their day, you are only a kid once. I am talking about these people who are over 25 that somehow feel the need to be sung to by strangers for their birthday or their friends who feel the need to let the restaurant staff, and the world for that matter, know it's their buddy's birthday.

What makes me wonder the most is, who's writing the lyrics to all these wacky birthday song versions? Every restaurant seems to have their own now. In some places it's just vocals, in others it's poor vocals and lyrics combined with annoying clapping, maracas, and other small instruments or gadgets you really don't want to hear directly in your ear when you are trying to have a conversation with someone. Are the CEOs of some of these chains like Fridays giving out homework assignments to the staff to see who can come up with the most annoying song? Or is it some marketing genius in a boardroom somewhere that is completely out of touch with the world? Either way, it needs to stop! We need to take a united stand against the cheesy birthday parade and song at restaurants! The "original" birthday song sucks bad enough, we don't need 1,000 different versions and remixes.

Instant Winner?

I hate all these games and contests on almost every product you buy. Does anyone really ever win these "grand prizes?"

Remember the McDonald's Monopoly game? You'd have to collect all the different properties from the Monopoly game and then trade them in for prizes. How many times do they think someone is going to McDonald's that they would be able to collect all these pieces? Sure, it was easy to get those two purple properties, but you win like a fuckin' small coke. The big prize was getting Boardwalk and Park Place for $1,000,000. This was impossible. They probably made only one piece of each which they proceeded to send one to like Nebraska and the other to Nepal. Nobody's winning a million bucks from McDonald's.

Then you have these punch cards every time you buy a sandwich somewhere. After like 12 punches you get a free sandwich. Wouldn't you be fuckin' sick of eating this by then? It's usually at like a Philly cheese steak place. By the time you got the free one your arteries would be clogged and you'd need more than a free sandwich.

Even the lottery is rigged. Those scratch-offs are a scam. What's the most you've ever won on them $20? Here in NY they have "Win for Life." The grand prize is $1,000 a week for the rest of your life. I am certain that if you win your days are numbered because the lottery agency probably hires a hitman or a sniper two weeks after you win to rub you out so they don't have to pay. Suddenly, the breaks on your car fail, or something fucked up like that and so goes your winnings.....

They had a scratch off contest in The Daily News newspaper here in NY about a month ago. The printing company they hired fucked the whole campaign up. On the Sunday morning of the contest dozens upon dozens of people scratched off their game sheets and won $10,000 or $100,000. People were so excited and so happy until they went to claim their prize and the paper said it was a printing error. They actually got away with it because in some fine print somewhere it says they are not responsible. Imagine winning that much cash and then being told it was a mistake? I would have snapped.

They actually sell fake lottery tickets at the novelty stores in the mall. You put these in a card for someone's birthday or whatever. I played this gag on my dad a few years back. He scratched it off and was so happy thinking he won $25,000. We told him to read the back to find out where to redeeem the ticket. It was then that he realized it was a joke.....I kind of felt bad afterwards.

The Amityville Horror....AGAIN????

Ok, so how many fuckin' movies are they going to make out of this story? The Amityville Horror house, a real house, about 5-10 minutes down the road from where I am right now at work, but come on already, another movie about it? We got the point in the first bunch of movies back in the day!

What I never understood about these "haunted" houses is why people stay and deal with all that haunting shit. I would see one fucked up thing and my Irish/Italian ass would be running out of that house! Why do these people stay and endure these alleged hauntings? The first voice in the night, the first footsteps I heard coming up steps, the first blood coming out of walls, my ass is out of there, isn't that common sense? My scared ass would be on the phone with Century 21 and a fuckin' for sale sign would be on that lawn in an hour!

Remember the movie Poltergeist? That little girl Carol Ann vanished but they could hear her through the TV? I would have flipped the channel a few times and if the bitch didn't come out, I would have been out of there! I am going to deal with shit flying all over the house, voices, cold drafts? Fuck that!

It must suck trying to go to the bathroom, shower, or get laid with these ghosts around. I can't imagine you could really get into banging away with an evil ghost or voice around and about. Kind of a mood killer, I'd tend to think....

If Caspar, "the friendly ghost" passed by, perhaps I'd stay and chill with him. But these evil, fucked up ghosts and demons, no fuckin' way! Who in their right mind would try to stick it out in a haunted house? I don't want my bed flying in the air with my head spinning 360 degrees while I spit pea soup....I'd rather call Century 21!

Classic Phone Scam #3 "Don't Answer The Phone"

As some of you know from previous posts, I was the master of the phone scam back in the day. I posted a few of my classic call schemes back about a month or so ago, here's another classic:

I would get someone's name and address out of the phone book, call them, and ask for them by name. When they would come on the line I would tell them I was "Tony DeLorenzo from Bell Atlantic (now Verizon)" I would call them about 9Pm and tell them we were going to be doing some very high powered testing on the phone lines in their neighborhood between 10PM and Midnight. I would go on to tell them that if the phone rings in that two hour time frame DO NOT answer the phone because the person calling you would receive a EXTREMELY bad shock due to the voltage running through the lines. They would thank me for letting them know and promise not to answer the phone during those times. I would wait until about 10:15PM (in the time frame they were not supposed to answer the phone) and then call them. They would either forget or they were just curious to see what would happen. When they would answer I would Scream AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! like I was being electrocuted. You would hear them panic and go "Oh my God" and hurry to hang up the phone.......very funny to hear......people will believe anything!!!!

The CD of these is coming soon! yes, I have hours of these wacky calls on tape from like 1990...they are a riot. I have to get them transferred to my computer and burned on CD's.

Things Along The Way.............

I just got back in from my run. When I am actually running I am in my own world, just me and my music up on the boardwalk. It's the cool down walk home where I notice little things and wonder:

How do pairs of sneakers end up hanging from power lines? Do people just get fed up with their sneakers and toss them up on the power lines? Is it a joke one person plays on another, I know I'd be pissed. I've always wondered how they get up there....

Then there's the oNE sock that lays in the middle of the road. Didn't this person notice as they were hopping home with one bare foot? How do you lose a sock in the road? I know the washer/dryer is a black hole for socks, but the road? Maybe the socks we end up missing from the wash make a run for it and the sock laying in the road is one that didn't make it.......

What about the people with no curtains or blinds on the windows of their home? What are they thinking? It's like living in Macy's store front. You walk by their house and you see everything that's going on. Don't they care that everyone passing and who lives near them can see everything? Maybe they are exhibitionists and get off on it.......

Then there are the people with backyards and decks who choose to BBQ and eat on their front lawns or driveways. What the fuck is that all about? Who wants to eat with traffic passing and auto fumes?

Then there are the lazy ass horn honkers who pull up at people's homes that refuse to either call them from their cell or get their fat asses out of the car to knock on the door. They just sit there and honk away forever.....but we've covered this topic already.

Just a few observances on the way home from a very windy run tonight......

What Happened To the Jetsons Lifestyle?

I want to live like these folks 


It's 2005 and we are still not living like the Jetsons. What the fuck happened? When I was in elementary/middle school back in the 80's everyone had us believing that we'd be flying around in those Jetsons cars and living like them. I have no Rosie rolling around my house. Not even Astro for that matter. There are no moving sidewalks, no popping a pill as a meal and being full, just the same old shit there was 20 years ago! I want to fly to work and then fold that car up in a suitcase!

Foods You Won't Eat Outside Your Home

I was chatting with some co-workers yesterday on our lunch break during our long ass meeting. We were talking about foods we won't eat unless it's made at home or by a relative.

Those of you who know me well know how much I love to cook and that I'm pretty good at it too! There's nothing like a house full of people and cooking for everyone, It's fun. Whether it be a huge BBQ or cooking up something in the kitchen, I enjoy it very much. Must be my Italian side. I am very particular about ingredients and about what I cook and eat. There are a few things I really won't eat unless I make it or maybe my Mom or brother makes it:

1) Eggplant. Just about every restaurant fucks up eggplant. They cut it too thick, don't cook it long enough, and it's just NASTY! I make a great eggplant and it kicks ass!

2) Meatballs. Even good Italian restaurants need training on meatballs. They use too many breadcrumbs and the things are like fuckin' cue balls. I have rarely even attempted getting these anywhere but from my own kitchen.

3) Chili. I've had chili in many a place and it's never as good as when you make it at home. Not sure what these places skimp on, but it usually sucks!

4)Hamburgers. There's nothing like a burger made at home on the BBQ. It's not often that I can find a really good hamburger somewhere. It's usually soggy or tastes like crap.

5) Bacon. Everyplace I get bacon they never make it crispy! It's always soggy and rubbery. Leave it in the pan another few minutes! I usually end up throwing it away or taking it off my sandwich. Nothing like it made at home.

That's just a few things I hate eating out of the home....love to hear yours.....

"Ordinary World"

From what I hear, MSG was the place to be last night for the Duran Duran show. I've always loved their work. They have a distinctive sound and some great lyrics. One of my favorite songs from them is "Ordinary World." I think it's a song we can all relate to. It's about having to find your life after a romance or a break-up. We sometimes get so caught up in a routine of seeing someone that we forget what life was like before you and that person met. It's only after the relationship ends that you try to find your way. The memories of that person seem to follow you and haunt you no matter what you do or where you are. But somehow, you have to find a way to get back to a life that you knew before them:

Came in from a rainy Thursday on the avenue,
Thought I heard you talking softly.
I turned on the lights, the TV and the radio
Still I can't escape the ghost of you.

What is happening to it all?
Crazy some say-
Where is the life that I recognize?
Gone away.

How many times has even our own home become different after you break up with someone? You remember all the times you shared with them there and your own home seems to become unrecognizable without them. You are haunted by these memories and it takes so long to get back to some sense of normalcy.

But I won't cry for yesterday.
There's an ordinary world somehow I have to find.
And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world
I will learn to survive.

Passion or coincidence once prompted you to say-
Pride will tear us both apart.
Well now pride's gone out the window, cross the rooftops, runaway.
Left me in the vacuum of my heart.

What is happening to me?
Crazy some say.
Where is my friend when I need you most?
Gone away.

Sure, we always learn to survive and move on, but it's remembering how to that's the struggle. You just have to build on each day and get over the hurdles and the memories.

Papers in the roadside tell of suffering and greed,
Feared today; forgot tomorrow.
Here beside the news of holy war and holy need,
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk-
Blown away.

Just blowing away.

That's my favorite verse of the song, it's so true. In the entire scheme of the universe you have to look at how small your struggle is compared to what's going on around you. Of course, within your own world things can seem horrible and difficult to heal from. But, if you look at the full scope of the struggles in the world, something like a break-up is just a blip on the screen, and it will pass.

Encore? I Think Not.

Although last night was a bit different than the normal show and the bottom THREE contestants sang a song BEFORE one of them got eliminated, American Idol normally makes the person voted off sing after they are eliminated. They have to always perform the song they sang the night before that got them booted. What the fuck is that? That's like a contestant who gets the wrong answer on Final Jeopardy having to come out and answer it wrong again just for shits and giggles. I would think it's quite embarrassing. Or how about a baseball player that makes an error to lose the game and they parade him out after the game and hit a ball to him where he has to make it go through his legs again. That's just messed up. Most of these American Idol contestants are in tears or on the verge of tears and they are forced to sing in front of the millions of people who DID NOT vote for them the night before to keep them in the competition. If we wanted to see them sing again, we would have VOTED for them! Can you imagine letting the losing Presidential candidate debate the winning Presidential candidate the day after the election. WHY??? We have already heard you and you lost, now leave. Unless of course they ran against Bush and Bush won, then we welcome those people back to speak and make him look like an ass some more. On American Idol, just announce who lost, kiss them goodbye and let it be. Don't make them sing again!

Male Bashing?

We live in a great country where anyone can say what they want and express themselves freely. Recently, I’ve come across so many blog posts that bash men. I’m sure many of these men were probably douche bags and deserve the criticism. On a daily basis I read many blogs written by ladies and I respect all of you for your opinions and experiences. I find your insight on life very thought provoking and informative. But, for a minute here, I have to ask that you see the other side of things.

Have any of you ladies ever taken a step back and thought that maybe some of these guys are the way they are because they’ve gone through the torture and torment of a crazy ass bitch? Sure, many men are scumbags. They were born that way and they will die that way. They were raised to treat women like shit and they always will. I must say though, that there are many good guys out there. Good guys that deal with and go through the same stuff you describe, the only difference is that it’s dealt to us by women of the same caliber as these scumbag men you speak of.

We come across women with more baggage than American Airlines and more issues than the Sunday Times. We deal with women who claim they are single, but are attached and are players. We deal with women who say they are emotionally over their last man, only to find out months down the line that they never got over them. We deal with women who are liars, cheats, mentally unstable, stalkers, emotionally abusive, and a host of other poor qualities. The difference is that society thinks because we have a dick in our pants that we don’t have a heart.

Just like you, we hurt when we come across these people. We get jaded and a bit fucked up when we come across one of these women just as you do when you come across a scumbag. We hurt, we feel pain, we get sad, and it affects us. It takes us time to get over this just as it does for you. At times maybe we don’t vocalize the pain or the hurt like many women do, but trust me, it’s there and we feel it.

This post isn’t an attempt to defend men who don’t deserve to be defended. I hope, just as you all do, that they get what they deserve someday. I just hope that you ladies realize that we go through the same issues daily that you do, the only difference with us is that society frowns on us for showing emotion. Yes, women and men have many differences but we also share so much common ground. It’s getting together on that common ground to rid ourselves of these assholes (both men and women) together so we can all be happy and bullshit free. If you are a guy and your male friend treats women like shit, don’t encourage it, call him out on it and tell him to grow the fuck up. Same with the ladies, if one of your girls is fucked up and doing bad shit behind her guy’s back, don’t just laugh it off or encourage it, take a fuckin’ stand. Too many people don’t have the nerve or the courage to tell their friends they are acting in a fucked up way. We let it go and don’t challenge them to act better and the cycle never gets broken.

In closing, I think each person should be treated on a case by case basis. Making broad or sweeping statements about a gender, a race, a religion, or whatever is narrow minded and wrong. All men are not bad just as all women are not bad. We share so much in common, yet we always seem to focus on the differences. Yes, we have and will continue to come across assholes. It’s about learning the warning signs of these people and steering clear of them.

Newspaper Delivery

I noticed that kids don't deliver papers anymore. Over the past few years it has been adults in a car tossing them on lawns and driveways. Have kids gotten that lazy? How the hell do they make a little money for themselves? I remember riding my bike in all kinds of extreme weather conditions to get those papers delivered. It was kind of like slave labor though. You mainly worked off tips and on a GOOD week, you walked away with like $30 for seven days worth of humping papers around. Sunday Mornings sucked ass. Those papers were HEAVY and you had to put them all together before you delivered them. Your hands would be full of print, you'd be tired, but your ass was out and about at like 6:30AM. I hope these adult delivery people have other sources of income. I doubt it though because every adult delivery person I've seen drives around in this big ass hoopty with no power steering. Poor Bastards.

I don't understand the home delivery of the newspaper anymore, except maybe the Sunday paper. During the week, who's sitting at home reading a paper? By the time you get the paper, that shit is old news already. Just turn on CNN for 10 minutes and be done with it and all caught up on the news. Most of the time, they don't even have scores of games that end past 10pm. Who the fuck needs it then? I can see someone on a subway or train commuting reading a paper, it kills time, but home delivery? Screw that.

Off to a day full of meetings, this sucks................

Game Shows

On Sunday, I made the mistake of moving one of four TV's in the house into the dining room. Now I am glued to bullshit shows while I eat my meals. Tonight Jeopardy was followed by Wheel of Fortune. It got me thinking of game shows over the years and all the nonsense that occurs on those shows.

Jeopardy is cool, but you have total fuckin' nerds on there that know so much useless information that you KNOW these people aren't getting laid regularly. That Ken Jennings dude was cool, you know the guy who won like 74 consecutive Jeopardy matches, but you know he has not been laid since the Nixon administration. Alex Trebek, the host, is a good guy but he acts like a big fuckin' know it all with the answers on cards in front of him. When people get it wrong he's like "No, the correct answer was _______" in a tone like he knew it all along.

Wheel of Fortune is a show I hate more than anything. Pat Sajak is a total douche bag. His own talk show got canceled after like half a season. Vanna White has made millions turning lit up letters. Now the lazy bitch does not even have to turn them, she just touches them. Is having her on the show really necessary? I like when the stupid people have like $8000 in their bank and are too stupid to solve it so they spin the wheel and more times than not, they hit that bankrupt space. I love it and usually laugh my ass off.

The Price is Right is another annoying game show. Bob Barker is how old now, 101? He has been in and out of court for sexually harassing those model chicks. Those models annoy me too. The run their fingers over everything when they show it to the camera. It's a fuckin' box of Rice A Roni, you are not making it look any better! The contestants on there are straight out of the trailer parks. They are so fuckin' stupid. They play the price game and are asked what costs more this 12 pack of D batteries or this box of lipton soup. And then they are like "uuuuuhhhh the soup Bob?" Then you have the 500lb women who try to spin that showcase showdown wheel. Their tits are sagging to the ground and they put all their weight into the spin and almost bust the fuckin' wheel. Then you have the weak people who can barely spin the thing.

Family Feud blows too. They had that Richard Dawson host back in the day who used to tongue everyone. That guy kissed more women than Wilt Chamberlain. Then they had another host who ended up hanging himself. There have been a bunch of hosts since then. They always put the stupid ass family member at the end of the line hoping the questions won't get to them. Those families were quite a sight. What rock did they dig these families out from under? The best part of Family Feud was the bonus round, although one family member of the two that can play in the bonus round always fucked things up and got like 40 out of the 200 points needed to win it all. You know they were disowned when their sorry ass got on the plane home. On the rare occasions they did win the money at the end, why did they all stand in a circle jumping up and down to the theme show music? They looked so fuckin' stupid.

I used to like that "Press Your Luck" show. You know the one with those "whammys" that would dance across the screen and jack people's cash. I loved when people would lose their money. I think they changed the name to "Whammy" now, it's not the same.

I hated the Newlywed Game. They'd always used the term "whoopie" for fucking or banging and it bothered me. Just ask, "What was the strangest place you and your wife ever banged?" That sure sounds better than the strangest place you ever made "whoopie."

There have been so many game shows I can't even get into them all.....for the most part they all blow.

Star Wars "Revenge of the Stupidity"

Some fucked up Star Wars fans have already started camping out on line in front of theaters in Los Angeles for tickets for the final episode of Star Wars. The thing is, the movie and tickets don't go on sale for FIVE more weeks. I just saw these wackos on the news and they are going to camp out the entire FIVE weeks just so they can be the first to see the movie. What is wrong with people? The movie will be in theaters for probably three months, then on to DVD, yet you have to put your entire life on hold for FIVE weeks just so you can be first on line opening night? Imagine having to sit next to one of these unwashed smelly assholes in the theater after their five weeks on a sidewalk? On top of it, they are dressed in Star Wars costumes. So not only are they acting like douche bags, now they look like douche bags too. I love the Yankees, Bruce Springsteen, and a host of other entertainers and movies, but you can bet your sweet ass I would not sit on a fuckin' sidewalk for FIVE weeks to get tickets. If I did not actually see these people being interviewed, I would not have believed the story. It amazes me just how stupid people are. On top of it all, they are lined up at the WRONG theater and they refuse to leave!!!!!!!

What Are We Stupid?

I was watching the news last night and they were talking about this guy Stephen Stanko (nice name douche bag) who is a fugitive on the loose. He's an ex-convict who supposedly killed two people and raped a teenage girl in a 24 hour crime spree. He is out an about in like South Carolina somewhere. The news actually said, if you see this man (showed his picture) don't approach him because he's dangerous. First of all, what the fuck am I going to say to him? Hey there Stanky nice job on those murders and throw him a high five. I know the average American is a moron, Bush got elected again, but would someone really recognize that he's a fugitive and go up to him and talk or try to capture him? The measly $10,000 reward for his arrest just isn't worth taking a bullet to the head. They also said he is considered "armed and dangerous." Once again, doesn't armed say it all? Do we need to say dangerous after armed when talking about a fugitive on a crime spree? He's armed and safe......what assholes the news media are.

I wonder if his name and the torment he must have received as a child lead him to a life of crime. Stanko, that's a fun one!

Coming Out of the Dark.....

Maybe it was the warm temperatures on Sunday, maybe I just reached a certain point and decided to look ahead. This weekend I made some decisions that will affect me for some time.

Although certain feelings of hurt or pain can't be turned on and off like a light switch, I think we all reach a point where we have to let go of things and look ahead. You can still hurt a bit over someone or something but reach a point where you find the inner strength to move ahead. I know it's time to look ahead.

The winter was full of disappointments. Disappointments that did not have to be, but ones that have altered my thought process and the way I look at things and people. It's difficult when you put so much of yourself into a job, or a person, or whatever, and don't get the results you want. A result that would have been the same no matter what you tried to do. That's the part that sucks. It's better when you fuck something up yourself, then you can kick your own ass and fix things, but when you have NO control over a situation no matter how much you put into it, that's what scars you most. What's made it easier for me to get past it at this point, is the knowledge that I left it all out there and gave every ounce of my being to these couple of situations that did not pan out. Many of my friends have told me for a while now to "just forget it" but can you just forget something or someone you were really passionate about and gave part of yourself to? I don't think I can just forget these types of situations, I can however, move ahead with strength and more wisdom.

My question to pose is this...why do we find ourselves always trying to please love interests, bosses, or others that either don't deserve it or can't see beyond their own world to appreciate what you try to do? Can't these people see how much of yourself that you put into them? Yet, they let you give and give and give and you find out way too late that it was unrecognized or unappreciated. Is it the "challenge" that we are going to somehow change these people and make them better people, is it that we have pity for them, is it our inner philanthropist coming out, what is it? Why do we always seem to give so much to these people or situations? Why are these people and situations always the hardest to get over? Why do we still find ourselves caring about these people and situations even though we shouldn't?

I'm not a guy that does anything half-assed. I take my job, my running, my writing, my cooking, my friendships, my relationships, and everything else I venture into VERY seriously. I am passionate about being successful and giving everything my all. I guess I have to get beyond looking at my efforts with people as a "failure" if things don't work out. There are certain people you just can't get through to no matter what....I just have to accept that.

I realized Sunday that it is time to think of me for a change. No, I have not changed who I am, I'll always be me and give my all to those who deserve it, but you can bet I am going to be a great deal more cautious and a great deal more selective in the process. Peace, at last.

Loud Commercials

I hate when you have your TV at a certain volume and you are enjoying a show, then they break for commercial and the volume of the commercial is like five times the level of the show you are watching. What's the fuckin' deal with that? You are all into American Idol, singing along, then some fuckin' KFC commercial comes on full blast! You lower the TV so the KFC jingle or whatever the cheesy commercial is isn't blaring then when it gets back to the show after the three minutes of commercials, the show is so low once again. This pisses me off. This seems to happen more on cable channels when these local business commercials come on. You are watching the Yankees, then they break between innings and you get some douche bag dressed as Ben Franklin selling used Chevy's at a local car dealership FULL FUCKIN' BLAST. Let me keep my TV at one volume instead of having to adjust it for all these cheesy ass commercials.

Where's the Technology?

A few men have walked the surface of the moon while they sipped TANG, we have invented cars that go zero to sixty in like 2.5 seconds, and the Concorde has flown us to Europe in a couple of hours, yet no technology has been developed in the area of the condom application. Guys still have to stop what they are doing, rip open this little pack, slide this slippery thing on, and keep the mood going somehow. I think it's time for technology in this area.

I think they should invent a machine device that would apply it on your penis in like seconds flat. You would like stick your penis into this machine, press a button, and boom, condom on. It's not about being lazy, it's all about convenience and necessity. How great would that be, you keep this device by the bed, when you need it, it's there. No more fumbling in the dark for the nightstand, no more ripping open little packages, no more mood killings. I know every guy, and girl for that matter has had a nightmare condom episode. This would make the condom application fast and fun. In a day and age where protection is a necessity, why not encourage the use of protection with a fast, safe, and fun way to cover up? I need to get to work to patent this idea! Any thoughts on a condom application device? I like when I pull these random thoughts out of mid air.

Feminine Hygiene Commercials

Back in January, I wrote about how much I despise those erectile dysfunction commercials. I sat through tons of those during the NFL Playoffs and now that baseball is back they are back in force. I Think I may despise the feminine hygiene commercial even more.

Yesterday I was flipping through the channels early. I was watching something on MTV and every other commercial was for a feminine hygiene product. I saw a Tampax tampon commercial yesterday that was quite stupid. This girl and this dude are on a canoe in the middle of a lake. Suddenly, the canoe springs a leak. She reaches for a FULL BOX of Tampax tampons, grabs a single tampon and plugs the hole in the boat. Ok, first of all, what the hell is she doing with a FULL box of tampons in a canoe? Did she think she was climbing aboard the SS Minnow and was going to be gone a long while? She brought enough for Ginger and Maryann as well! I mean what’s the longest you are going to be in a lame ass canoe before you say “This sucks!” and row back to shore, an hour? Secondly, are these tampons for an elephant that it can hold and block the one million gallons of lake water? If you need a tampon that absorbent, I think it’s time for a doctor’s appointment.

Then there’s the good old douche commercial. All of these are the same. You have the Mother and the daughter hanging out and the daughter always says, “Mom, I don’t feel so fresh.” They are usually at the breakfast table. The Mom just so happens to have a douche under the table and whips it out. MMMMM, nothing like French toast and a little Massengil. They then smile and hug and the commercial pans away and shows the product up close and it tells you what scents these come in. Have you heard the name of some of these scents. “Ocean Mist” is one that cracks me up. Have you smelled the ocean lately? I am not sure what girl wants their vagina smelling like the Atlantic. I also get a laugh from the “Mountain Breeze” scent. What exactly does a mountain breeze smell like, raccoon, skunk, pine cone, wood? Not sure you want your vagina smelling anything like those either.

Then there are the Maxi Pad commercials. These maxi pads have gotten pretty high tech huh? Wings, quilts, gas engines, you name it. Then they have to demonstrate how great these maxi pads are by pouring about a quart of this blue liquid on them to show all of us how absorbent these really are. Do we need to see it first hand? I’ll take their word for it.

Erectile dysfunction, herpes medication commercials, douches, maxi pads, tampax….what happened to the Kool-Aid pitcher, The Trix Rabbit, and the Keebler Elves?

Sorry State of Affairs

Is it just me, or does the price of gasoline go up EVERY day? As it continues to rise, people continue to buy SUV's which aids in raising our demand for fuel and in fuel prices. People still wave the American flag, too blind by their "Patriotism" to realize just how bad things are in America right now.

I remember back in '99, while Clinton was getting his dick sucked and the Conservatives were in an uproar, things were booming here. Gas was .99 a gallon, the stock market was soaring, we weren't being attacked, nor were we attacking other nations, things were just going along fine. If the worst thing that happened under Clinton was a blowjob, I'll go back to those days in a second. I was making money hand over fist, OVERTIME was basically unlimited, and everyone was happy. What the hell happened?

The stock market is slightly higher(DOW, Nasdaq is almost the same) than it was when GW stole the 2000 election. We've lost 1500+ troops in Iraq, the unemployment rate is higher, the jobs that are out there are low paying bullshit jobs, gas is 80% higher than it was in 2000, we went from a surplus to a defecit, the world hates us, yet Bush wins the election last year and it's business as usual. Don't people care anymore? I think the American people have really lost their balls.

I see clips on TV from the 1960's, an era when people gave a shit. People took to the streets and made changes. They took to the streets for their civil rights, women's rights, protested unjust wars, you name it. Today everyone just accepts everything and nobody does shit about it. The country gets outraged by Janet Jackson's breast but not by 1500+ troops dying in Iraq. Americans are outraged by the thought of two men or two women getting married, but will gladly pay $2.50 for a gallon of regular gas. Americans will debate whether or not the Teletubbies promote homosexuality but won't demand or debate gun control. We need a generation of people who care, to shake things up. What's going on now is just insanity, yet people sem to be hiding from the mess that is around us. How long before we wake up and demand change? Instead of Congress debating Terri Schiavo and steroids in baseball they need to be debating alternative fuel sources to we can tell Saudi Arabia to stick their oil straight up their asses. They need to be talking about fixing the environment, educating the children, updating our infrastructure, not all this bullshit stuff.

People have to start holding these politicians accountable making their voices heard before we get ourselves deeper into an almost unfixable situation.