Happy Saturday to all. Another shitty, rainy one here in good ol' NY.....but a rainy day not having to go to work still beats a picture perfect day at the office.
I read a post over at the Freaky Virgin's blog this morning which got me thinking. So, I figured I'd elaborate on my thoughts.
As a guy in my early 30's, it's cool to look back on the wildness of my 20's. That's not to say I am not still wild and crazy at times, but as you mature, you see the world differently. When I was in my late teens and 20's I had a thought process that many guys do at that age.....never turn down a piece of ass when you have the opportunity. Even if the girl wasn't your "type" so to speak, you still thought it was cool to hook up just to hook up because it made you feel good and you felt like you had to get this craziness out of your system before you got married and settled down. You had sex just to have sex when you weren't in a committed relationship and in your own mind it was acceptable.
Now that I am in my early 30's and have seen more female ass than a ladies room toilet seat at Macy's on a sale day, you realize what's really important. It isn't about just banging anyone that gives you the opportunity, it's about things a lot deeper. Sure, I still have a VERY high sex drive and am horny all the time just like most guys, but now I think beyond just the moment. In my 20's I thought just of that moment, getting laid, and that's it. Now I think of the aggravation involved if you hook up with someone that likes you but it's someone you are not really into. The phone calls afterward, and everything else that goes along with it. In 15 minutes I could just jerk-off and save myself the trouble. It's simpler and I don't have to deal with bullshit afterwards. Masturbation is and always will be king. It keeps you out of LOTS of trouble.
On a serious note though, you do see things differently as you mature. Now it's about being with a girl that you are really into. Someone you have a strong connection with, someone you can be yourself with, someone you can laugh your ass off with, someone who understands me, someone who brings out the best in me and who I bring out the best in. Someone who after I have sex with for hours, there is actually shit to talk about afterwards. Yeah it's about love but it's also about who you can most tolerate. I know that sounds wacky, but it's true. How many times have we been with someone we can only take in doses? Someone, although nice, and attractive, just gets under your skin after a while. We have all been there. Guys, when you find a girl you are attracted to, who is funny, who you can actually talk to, and who you can tolerate for long periods of time, marry her. Seriously.
Yeah, we have to be sexually compatible with our choice of partner, but that's only one component. A freak shouldn't marry a prude...we know that is a recipe for disaster. Unless someone is REALLY bad sexually, isn't it all the same? Isn't it more about how you feel about that person that makes you get into things more both sexually and non sexually anyway? I'd rather have a cute girl who knows what she's doing sexually, who I have a blast with ALL the time than a "HOT" girl who's a pro in bed, but who offers nothing in other areas of life, it's that simple and that's where my mind is now. Suuuuuure, while I am running down on the beach daily I see hot girls everywhere and think "Wow, I'd love to have her on all fours" or some other nasty guy thought...but when I really think about what makes me happiest it's just being with someone I can share things with, laugh, have fun, experience things with, and just be myself with. That lasts a lot longer than a few nights of just banging one of the beach bitches only to find out that's all they have to offer.
I like where I am at now in life. I like thinking with a mature mind. Trust me, I love all the experiences I've had both good and bad. I am smarter, tougher, and happier because of them. You bet your ass I still have fun and get rowdy, but I enjoy it more now because of where I've been and what I've seen in life so far. Knowledge, experience, and maturity make you feel more complete and confident.
Ok, that's my Saturday speech...... :)
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6 comments:
Oh wow....where are all the guys like you where I am?? I wish more guys had that outlook...
Okay, so can we clone you and repopulate the current available single-guy selection with you? Or maybe just send all of them to a brain re-circuiting session?
Noelle- Many guys have the same outlook....I think it comes down to them no having enough confidence in themeselves to do the right thing.
Muse- hahaha, some men never grow up...what can I say. I've always had a relationship oriented mind...yeah I've had my single streaks where I've done stupid shit....but i think it boils down to self-esteem and how you are raised....some men have no clue.
Actually, ladies, I think there are more men out there like him than you may realize. Like he said, he used to be one of "them"...right? So actually made the change of heart Charlie? Was it a broken heart? That usually does it for the guys that I know that may have had sewn a few too many oats in their younger years. And you know what? A lot of it is just for show. I've had many a conversation with guys I thought were huge womanizing jerks that ended up being really nice guys with some sore of immature inferiority complex. It just takes the right woman, who is willing (being the key word) and not critical or overzealous to get it out of them. But then there are the guys who are hopeless jerks, but trust me, those guys are few and far between!
I was never a dick that went out of my way to hurt people....I've always been a kind guy...but now I just see things differently and realize that just because someone is "hot" and you can't keep your hands off them, it does not make them a good match for you. In other words, 10 years ago I'd take the hot girl over the cute girl even if the cute girl was nicer...now it's very different.
C-mac, you seem to have had a revelation of sorts, you have always been a nice guy,i don't dispute that but your post shows a different charlie than the one i once knew. It is very nice to see and I feel very lucky to have you as a friend!! :)
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