Yup, it's that time again, morning. Time once again to start the work day. Before I officially start at 8:30, I wanted to list the top 10 things I hate most about work....in no particular order:
The Commute: Although I am only 20 miles away and it really does not take me all that long, just dealing with douche bags on the road in the morning starts each day on the wrong foot. I want to work from home, from my deck!
Phony People: We all have these people at work. People who pretend to be your friend then talk shit behind your back and everyone else's. In the spirit of Friday the 13th, I hope Jason catches up with these morons sometime later tonight.
Miserable People: You know these people, the ones who forgot how to say hello, smile, or even speak for that matter. These people need to either get laid or get a laxative.
People Who Steal Your Ideas: You have to love these geniuses. These are the people who can't think on their own so they listen in on your ideas or someone else's and present it as their own just for credit. The key with these nozzles is to make up a crazy idea so they hear it and run with it. Let the fucker get fired.
People Who Try To Look Busy But Do Nothing: These people are my favorite. You can spot them a mile away. They take deep breaths, sigh, wipe their brow, scatter papers all over their desk, walk around with papers all the time, stay until the boss leaves, and always look annoyed....you know the Costanza method of working. These people need to be put on bathroom duty after a Mexican luncheon.
People Who Cook Fucked Up Food In the Microwave: We've all dealt with these assholes. They bring in some exotic seafood dish and the whole fuckin' office smells like a whorehouse or they burn popcorn and the office smells like the towering inferno. These people need to be banned from the kitchen.
The 50 Cigarette Break Worker: This person needs to actually do some fuckin' work. They spend half the day racking up Marlboro points. At their homes they have the fuckin' Marlboro couch, Marlboro kitchen set, Marlboro car, and even the fuckin' Marlboro Jet from all the fuckin' cigarettes they are smoking at work. Get back to your desk you lazy prick and work! You don't see me out taking a vodka break or a sex break do you? Maybe I should!
The Pass The Buck Douche Bags: You know these people. People who don't give a shit, they just want it off their desk at any cost. They pass along shit to you that is half complete, 90% inaccurate, or that makes no sense whatsoever. They feel they did their part of it and just want it over with. Haunt these assholes, make their lives miserable right back.
People Who Try and Act Smart: You know these people too. We have people in offices here that have had the same scientific formulas on their dry erase boards for 2 fuckin' years....ok douche bag, I can look that up on the internet too. You have no idea what that even means so get the eraser and erase it before I carve the Pythagorean Theorem on your forehead with a knife.
Meetings: These are always fun. You discuss the SAME shit at every meeting and nothing ever gets done. You have people who don't know how to shut the fuck up at these meetings and make them drag on for HOURS! When they ask does anyone have any questions, shut up and be done with it! The most petty and trivial shit is discussed at these meetings, shit that could be solved in 30 seconds if someone had the balls or actually gave a shit.
Ok, that's my top 10...I want to hear your work gripes!!!!!
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26 comments:
Ok. I was going to write something completely different...until my husband just walked into the office, threw a blanket over my head, put his hands on my chest and started "dry humping" the back of my chair all while yelling; "How do you like me now!!? So if I were you, I'd take the people in your office over what I have to put up with ANY day...officing at home is not what it's all cut out to be, mostly for the molestation, but also because you can never leave your work at the office. Happy Friday the 13th!
Some of these people are the same people. Like those who take smoke breaks they will also steal your ideas. The ones that bug the are the ones that bring nothing for pot luck lunch and still think they can eat it all. Hey I made that and I don't get to eat it! That's just wrong. Next time I'm making a "special" cake.
Thank God my husband works days.But pretty soon he'l be working nights and will be home during the day then I get to hear him talk stupid politics all day.That's the downfall of my working at home.
I love to get out of the house. It feels like a day off.
I remember those meetings though. I hated the ones that never knew when to shut the hell up talking about nothing because they like to hear themselves talk. Dragging a useless meeting on longer than it already is. I don't miss those people. We did have one girl Denise that didn't care what she said and we loved it. She was the only on that had the guts to say the truth and put some of these people in their place. Now her I miss.
I think the only thing that pisses me off at this office is the backstabbing of a few choice members on our staff. If it has my name on it, its my revenue - stop trying to claim it as yours, douche!
Man, I know so many of those people. Fortunately, none of them work here anymore!
Wow, makes me happy to be a stay at home mom and not miss the office AT ALL!
phony people are the reason that i left my last job. not a fan
You talking to me? Are you talking to me, douchebag!?!?!? [shows a little 'tude, here] "I'm from freakin' Joisey, and I got a cousin named Vinny." OMG, I'm laughing so hard that my ribs hurt!
Actually, my accent is sort of a generic Northern American one, like anyone from Colorado or Wyoming would have.
My #1 Complaint has to be people who set the junk faxes (you know the one go for a Cruise to the Bahamas for 3 months for $5) on the counter instead of in the trash can, when the trash can is immediately to the right of the fax machine and the counter is across the room.
My pet peeves at work:
- People who take 2-hour lunches every day but bitch because you're 5 minutes late in the morning.
- People who don't understand that not everybody has the luxury of having car gas expenses and parking paid for by the company, that public transportation is not always reliable
- People who mess up the microwave
- People who put dry cream and coffee all over the counter
- People who take the last of coffee and water and don't start another pot or replace the water bottle
- People who whine about everything
BTW the only enjoyable part of my day at work is my commute, since it's my only moment of "me time" and the fact that I have plenty to time at work to surf the net.
Great post!
I loved everyone's work stories and comments! Sounds like many of us deal with the same issues each day. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend away from the office!
Glad I don't work in an office! I feel bad for you all! :(
You have a great weekend, too.
People who have to tell you about every little ailment. I don't care about your hemorroids and anal leakage. I'm not your doctor!
OMG, Charlie - You SO nailed these. My commute is about 45 minutes, but no traffic. It's actually the LEAST annoying annoyance.
The phony, miserable. coniving, buck passing and idea stealing creeps...yeah, I got those.
People trying to look busy doing nothing...umm...I may occassionally BE that person. It's usually when I'm trying to cover-up checking my fave blogs! (oops)
The smokers...in the nice weather I use them as an excuse to take a 20 minute walk around 3:00 in the afternoon. It gets me outside (I can't even SEE a window from my cube), I get some exercise and I get away from the blasted computer screen. I rationalize my 20-minute break because I don't smoke. Add up a smoker's average five or six/day trips outside! If THOSE are acceptable, my WALK is acceptable. Right? Well..it sounded good to me, so I didn't bother to take it up with management.
Great blog! Glad I happened by!
PS: Today's quiz was easier than the sex position quiz. I had trouble choosing just one on that survey. BTW, I linked you.
NOT mustard yellow, please! I liked the dots better.
SHUT UP!!! Damn it! Now I have template envy!
I HATE mine, but I thought if I changed it, I would lose all the cool stuff that I broke out in a sweat to figure out!
Okay, how'd you do it?
E-mail me.
Jane, it's not mustard yellow, it's brown, like the beach....time to adjust the color on your monitor, hahahaha
Steph- You are too funny....lots of finagling with the html code and downloading stuff off the internet to use......no real rhyme or reason...
People who steal your ideas (I can pertain that to blogs!) WHOA What is this NEW BLOG DESIGN WEEK? NICE! I like it!!!
My big gripe at the moment is my boss leaving all his empty beer bottles in my trash - and the empty cardboard wrappers from the 6 packs in the fridge!
The smoke breaks annoyed me the most, especially considering that Management (a pack of cigarette-sucking monkeys) decided that smokers were entitled to a morning and afternoon break to go out and curb the cravings, but non-smokers were entitled to NO BREAK AT ALL!
The reason? Non-smokers should feel sorry for smokers, victims of a terrible addiction...
In my list, most you covered but
--> Dam, they think if there phone ring volume is high they are important as all listen there phone ring again, i feel like piss over there fone sometimems
--> Take a small thing and present it like darn only thing which matters to this office, common guys have a bigger view.
Loz, give it a break. I only get to suck down a cigarette when I go out for lunch. If you want to do the same, I'll share my pack with you.
Now, FWIW, I love Deni's music. I've ordered the 2-pack of CDs. And I love kitsch!
Nah, I don't want to smoke, but thanks for the offer. I just wanted all the employees to be given the same liberties! We tried going out for fresh-air breaks instead of smoke breaks and got in trouble.
Here's one I forgot. When I went to work for LI Office Supply already having 7 years in the industry I sat behind this girl who was jealous of my knowledge because before I worked there she was the go to person then slowly people(even the bosses)would ask me stuff. She didn't like it but I didn't know she was going to the bosses and telling them things that I was doing to try and get me in trouble.I was repramanded for something I didn't do and when I asked who said that, I didn't get an answer. As time went on the rest of the office went against her when I started catching on to what she was doing and started defending myself against her lies.
Can you believe after all that nonsense she actually invited me to her house for brunch? I guess she realized what a fool she had been and especially when I semi-threatned her when no one was listening. I said "You are so lucky I'm a nice person." I think she got it after that. She just wanted all the attention and she loved when she had something wrong with her in order to get sympathy. One time my office manager said to me " Maybe we should just get her a gun"lol
Why are some women such trouble makers at work? Some men are too. Just do your job,shut up and go home. No one cares! We have our own problems jerk.
First off, cool blog.
Now...what annoys me at work? A guy named Joe. Here's why...
http://random-squeegee.com/2003/12/tao-of-joe.html
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