Saturday Night Tales......

Well, it's 11:15am on Sunday and it's raining! What the F? It was supposed to be nice. Hopefully the sun will be out later. Anyway the party/get together was fun last night in Conncecticut. I was talking to some interesting people.

Come to think of it, what makes a party a party and a get together a get together? What's the difference? Is it the amount of people who come? Is it the music? The food? The activities going on at the event? I've noticed a common occurence at almost every party/get together I've ever gone to. At some point, the men and women always seem to split up and talk, it's almost inevitable that at some point that this will happen. It can be in a house, out in a yard, at a catering hall, but at some point you will see a table of women chatting and a huddle of men talking. I actually enjoy conversation with women more than I enjoy conversation with men and usually crash the women's table. I find the conversation to be more deep and substantial than the men's conversation. I am a sports fan and all, but I hate making small talk about sports and power tools. Unless the women are talking Lifetime Movies or menstrual cycles, I find their conversation a bit more interesting and enjoyable. There are very few guys that can hold my interest in a conversation for some reason. There was actually one guy at this party/get together last night that was cool and fun to BS with. At work, I'd say I talk to the Sugar V more than just about anyone. He always makes for good conversation, although he seems to talk about chick flicks and Macy's sales pretty often. haha.

I was told Bruce (my dog) could be brought to the event because there would be other dogs there for him to play with. So, he came. All was well until he decided to shit in his dog carrier on the Whitestone Bridge which is about 30 minutes from the event, with NO traffic. Of course, being that he took a shit, and the BRAND NEW Jeep was stinking like dog shit, we hit about an hour's worth of traffic due to the end of the Mets/Yankees game. So for an hour I had to bask in the stench of dog shit. At that point, I wasn't inclined to sing "Fantastic Voyage." Not so fantastic, I must say. Once we got him there, he was fine. Cleaning the pet carrier and airing out the Jeep wasn't so fun......as you could imagine. Nothing like making a grand entrance to a party/get together carrying a pile of dog shit. I feel like I suddenly have a child, without the tax write-off of course. It's been an interesting month with Bruce so far.....


Whitestone Bridge, aka Shitstone Bridge 

So, that was my Saturday Night. I failed to mention that at 2:30 AM gas was running VERY low in the Jeep and I desperately needed to stop off somewhere for gas on the way home. I can't believe how much gas this thing uses up. On any account, we could not find an open gas station in Greenwich, CT where the party was. So we drove into NY, over The Whitestone (now known to me as the Shitstone Bridge) and got on the Van Wyck Expressway which basically runs from Laguardia Airport to JFK Airport. At this point the gas light is chiming and we are still 15 miles from Long Beach, so it is time to pull off at an exit. Of course, we choose Jamaica, Queens at 2:30am which is 50 CENT's hood. Needless to say, no OPEN gas station right off the exit, just closed stations. THIS IS FUCKIN' NYC, THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS, and all the gas stations are closed. So now I am driving deeper and deeper into Jamaica. I see gangs of people hanging out on corners, 2 fights, still no gas stations, or even a cop for that matter. FINALLY, we find an open gas station where I fill up. The gas station attendant goes on to mention that all the gas stations close early because of frequent robberies and shootings. So as I am pumping gas, I am moving around so nobody has a clear shot at me.......interesting night huh? Finally home at 3....minus a cap in my ass and and a pile of shit in my hand.