Have any of you ever had the misfortune of working in retail? I did from my high school years until about 1997. The things I have seen and heard will AMAZE some of you. I want to share some of my favorite retail stories:
1) The Store Gym: I worked for a large sporting goods store from my Sophmore year in high school until I was about 20. We had a HUGE area where we had all of our exercise equipment on display for people to look at and try. We had this "customer" come in EVERY night at 5:20, towel in hand, to work out on the machines. Why spend the money on a gym membership when you can get it free at your local sporting goods store? This guy was INSANE!!!! We loved the spectacle so much, we never threw him out of the store.
2) The National Anthem: Same store, same job. We had this "special" kid come in after school a few days a week to play the demo we had set up of Sega Genesis. He loved to play the NHL hockey video game, but he did it with a twist. Before the game, he'd take his baseball cap off, hold it against his heart and sing both the American and Canadian National Anthems. He would then play the game, imitating Marv Albert's voice and doing the play by play, "the pass to Messier, Scoooooore!!!!"
3) The Kiddie Pool- I managed a retail store similar to Target years ago. We had a seasonal section where we had all of our summer stuff on display including the kiddie turtle pools. I was doing a store walk-through with my department managers when we got to the seasonal section. Something smelled really foul. We looked and looked and could not figure it out. We then looked in the direction of the kiddy pools and saw what was causing the odor. Someone had squatted and taken a shit right in the kiddie pool. It was nasty!
4) The Watch Battery- Same store as #3. We had a jewelry counter in the store where we sold all kinds of jewelry and watches. A well dressed customer approaches my clerk who was behind the jewelry counter and asked if we installed watch batteries. My clerk told her that we did not install them, but she'd be glad to show her which battery was the right one for her watch and that she could change it at home. The woman hacked up a big wad of spit and spat at the clerk. All because we did not install watch batteries.
5) The Men's Shirt Sale- An all out brawl took place over the last men's dress shirt. Two women grabbed for the same shirt and an all out brawl took place complete with blood, hair pulling, and Police activity. Neither woman got the shirt, but headed to the Police station instead.
6) The Old Lady- Ok, it's two days before Christmas 1995 and my 6am-6pm shift just ended as a manager of the same "Target" like store. I figured I would buy some last minute things before I headed home. There were 25 registers going, 15 people on each line. the store was packed. I was quietly waiting in line like everyone else, when all of a sudden an old lady collapsed on line. The heat/stress of the store must have gotten to her. Instead of people helping her, they pushed her cart aside and took her place in line!!!!!
7) I was managing a pharmacy store. One of my cashiers had a slight cold but came to work anyway. Some customer gave her an attitude for coming to work sick and asked for the manager. when I approached him he accused ME of forcing my employees to come to work sick just so I could drum up pharmacy business!
We'll have a retail years part 2 another time...I could write a book of stories!
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11 comments:
Those were great! In college a couple of friends and I used to go and bowl (set up the pins and bowl down an aisle) or race around Sports Authority on Inline Skates when we got bored. we were always very careful so they never cared!
OMG, you make me sooo happy I never worked in retail! Although it does sound quite entertaining.
I meet wackos being a personal trainer, all the time! People tell you all kinds of personal shit. Glad to say nobody ever shit on the floor though! :)
The closest I came was working at a grocery store...
I had a lady scream at me and call me incompetent because I wouldn't accept her coupon for dog food that had expired 2 years prior.
People kept trying to be cheap and buy the baby cakes from the bakery but have me write entire novels on the top.
We used to take brooms and the plastic packages of corn tortillas and scoot them across the stock room.
Two words: Icing Fight.
Theeeeee Yankeees suck.
That is all.
Won't even make the playoffs this year. Of course, this is hilarious to me.
I worked at THE GAP! I was in charge of Jeans. They were slave drivers! I had to make sure every pant was neatly folded and aligned and couldn;t leave to go home until the manager approved!!
I worked at a gross little retail store called Jay Jacobs when I was in high school and their mantra was, "No NETMA!" I was like, what the hell is that? NETMA was an acronym for Nobody Ever Tells Me Anything. So every time you asked a question, the manager would say, "No NETMA!" They even had signs in the stockroom of the word NETMA with a red circle and line through it. I hated retail!
I worked in retail for 7 years from
1984-1991. The only thing I hated about it was that they felt like life couldn't go on if I couldn't come in. Lots of pressure. But it gave me the experince of what I do today. Now I'm a sales rep doing the same thing but enjoying it more than retail.I have customers now that were customers from that same retail store.Same people still there too.Wow is that 20 years? Damn. Thank you retail!
I also worked in a clothing store too for a short while before that. That was cool because the owners were cool like hippy types.
Hey what about that story about how kool that awsome dude that sits outside you office is. Thats a great story.
I worked retail in a womens clothing store at the Mall of America for 3 years while in highschool and periodically through my first year in college. It was INSANE!I have enough stories to fill a novel, including, but not limited to the masturbating lady in the handicapped dressing room. And I was the "Lancome" cosmetic lady for Daytons (Marshall Fields) while in college where I had a lesbian stalker. They had cameras at every entrance and when she would enter the store security would have to "escort" me to the back room until she was gone. CRAZY!
I had a summer job between my junior and senior years of college at The Children's Place. Applied when I was home over spring break, was hired for the following summer. Then when I got home that summer and stopped in to firm up my exact start date, the manager who hired me had left, my application and paperwork were gone, there was a new manager, and I had to reapply all over again. Did get hired, but the work was just like MrsMogul describes.
The only source of amusement were the mothers who would make their little boys try on a pair of jeans, come out of the dressing booth, and instantly reach down, grab the crotch and yank it. They seemed totally oblivious to the humiliation the poor little boys must have felt with mommy grabbing their crotch in full view of the other shoppers.
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