Who invented the urinal? I always wondered about that. When did society decree it was acceptable for men to line up and urinate out in the open? The Sugar V loves urinals. It's an awkward situation to be standing there urinating with someone so close to you that you are almost shoulder to shoulder. You stare straight ahead with nothing you can really say. You can't hum or sing because everyone else will think you are insane. I don't want anyone checking out the goods, getting jealous and shit.
Then there's the pressure of actually peeing while you know others are standing behind you waiting for the urinal. This is common at baseball games, concerts, and bars. You feel like you are on a timer. It's like the final Jeopardy! answer and the song is almost done. That's why I am a stall man, always have been, always will be. I like the luxury and the comfort of a stall. Even if someone is waiting outside the stall, the pressure isn't as great to hurry and get out because that door suddenly looms as large as the once mighty Berlin Wall.
I think work bathrooms are the worst because these are people you have to see daily. There is nothing worse than going into a work bathroom where there is nobody in there but it stinks from the last person. As you pee and wash up and leave, somebody you work with comes in and thinks you created the stench....it's an awkward feeling. Seriously though, some of the odors in the work bathrooms are horrible. If my crap smelled like that bathroom after some of these people go, I'd seek immediate medical attention. What the hell are they eating????? And it never hurts to flush after you go...isn't that why we have indoor plumbing???? Some of these people refuse to flush! Is it a religious thing? FUCKERS! FLUSH!!!!!
I think I may have a phobia of public restrooms. What is that phobia called? Urinalphobia? Stenchaphobia? I don't know. The only time I go at a urinal is when I am totally drunk, then I'll pee anywhere. I say stalls across the board for men and women with doors that go all the way to the ground. There should be a red or green occupied thingy on the door to determine if someone's in there or not...not this looking for feet nonsense. Take it from me, that does not always work. I walked in on somebody at work sitting on the bowl one day because he didn't lock his stall and I didn't see his feet. Not the most comfortable situation. That image is still cemented on my brain!
I am a stall man, forever, for life! Everyone knows my public bathroom handblower story, what crazy shit have you witnessed in public bathrooms?
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18 comments:
You are so not alone....
I have what I like to call, Stagefright. If I think anyone in a 10 mile radius might be able to hear me, I'm not going... We have thin walls where I work, so I turn on the fan and the sink full blast just to pee! I can't go unless I know that no one can hear me!
I think Ive read this story before. Hmmm.....
from the lost episodes of c-mac....
That's funny...I can relate though. I *hate* using public restrooms. And yes, why is that some people don't flush?? So gross..,
I think it's weird and funny when I hear a girl answer her cell phone while she's sitting on the can peeing. I mean...can't you at least wait until you're finished with your business? I wouldn't want to be on the other end of that call hearing those echoes and sound effects.
Heather - I also have a case of stagefright at times...I hate using port-o-potties for fear that someone's going to tip it over...All public restroom stalls I've ever been in the lock's have been broken and replaced several times (whoever can come up with a lock for these that lasts will be a millionaire)...And why is it that a grown woman can't pee IN the toilet, there is always pee on the seat, I ALWAYS look before I sit down...And always check for toilet paper, nothing worse than going and then realizing there is no paper...UGH
Yeah don't want anyone checkin' out the goods and gettin' Jealous...LMAO...you have something to make the other boys jealous Cmac??? ;;)
Me, I say if you got it...flaunt it ;-)
I do occasionally get stage fright myself in public bathrooms though, I think everyone is listening to me pee, when actually they are trying to overcome their own "stage fright". LOL
Yeah, its so wrong. And I have the same issue that guys do at urinals when it comes to stalls - give a person a buffer stall, please! I don't want someone right next to me if its avoidable - even that feels like an invasion of privacy.
And Diddy? Please tell me that I don't get in one of the port-os at TITS that gets knocked over.
Speaking of port-os, the worst is the evening on the last day of a weekend-long event. Especially the ones in Jacksonville on Saturday night after the GA/FL game. Yeah, brimming. That's all I'm going to say. *shudder*
Hahahahaha....
First, why the hell isn't someone locking the stall when they're using the toilet? Hello. What a dumbass, of course people are going to walk in. I hope you weren't blinded too badly. LOL.
Second, I too have a public bathroom phobia. I will not use one anywhere (except at work cause they're clean and private). I don't care how bad I have to pee, I'll hold it, thank you.
there's a club here in austin that has unisex bathrooms stalls only. im sure you will like it.
Being a woman i feel for ya with the urinal situation. you can join me in a stall anytime ;)
Its one time I feel like we get the better end of the deal being women, because at least we get to pee in private. I can't imagine being a guy and just whipping it out wherever and taking a leak.
I agree with Diane,if you got it flaunt it. So you got it you say?
I'm a contourtionist in the public bathroom. I squat without sitting and I flush with my foot. If I can lock and unlock with my foot I'll do that too.
One time we went to a wedding and my husband said there were little Tv's in front of each urinal and there was a big baseball game on that day. One of his friends from work was taking a pee and 3 guys were standing behind him watching the game.A little awkward,huh?
I have no problem letting loose with a rip roaring shit when others are in the room or in the stall next to me. No problem at all
I took a REALLY nasty dump one time in the admin wing because our stalls were disgusting. Unfortunately the bowl got clogged bad. And it stank! Well guess who walks in? The director. So there I am washing my hands as the director goes to the stall that I just clogged up. A janitor walks in and yells "Oh jeez, it smells like shit in here!" He gets on his two way radio and exclaims "We got a blocked up toilet over here. It smells like shit big time!" I'm like oh crap I'm out of here. Later on the janitor came up to me and said the director wanted to know my name.
craig-did u give him your name or your boss's name, i gotta know!
I have actually been known to use a urinal once. Of course, I was tanked beyond belief....all I remember was that the men were very sweet to me when I was there. Go figure. Good times. Good times.
I have mastered a list of all weird phobias and I will check to see if that's on my list - wouldn't surprise me. I'm glad we women folk don't have to worry about that stuff. We do occasionally feel each other up in the ladies room though ;)
Dave Barry wrote about this in one of his books.
It goes something like this: you walk into a bathroom with four urinals. You take the far right. The next guy in takes the far left. The issue is to avoid, at all costs, peeing right next to the other guy.
The problems start when guy #3 walks in and has to take one of the two middle urinals.
That's where your post takes over. I’m with you. I want four of something around me when I’m in the toidy.
Years ago, when I went to boot camp, we had nothing but a long trough...got cured of my shyness right quick.
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