I see so many things on the roads daily that make me wonder what people are thinking. Some can be funny observations, some are just plain frustrating.
This morning, some dude was broken down and parked over on the side of the parkway. He was in a suit, apparently on his way to work when he broke down. What was he doing? He was doing what 90% of people who break down on the road do, staring under the hood. What the fuck is that going to do??? Unless you know how to fix a car, why even bother? If it's something minor, and you are somewhat bright, perhaps you can do a quick fix to get yourself to a local service station. If it's something major why fuck with things under that hood???? You aren't going to fix your transmission with a plastic spork from last week's Taco Bell run. Just call someone!!!!! I like just watching the look on these people's faces who think they are going to fix their electrical system with a 7-11 coffee stirrer and a Big Gulp lid.
Then there are the people driving who have to SLOW DOWN to get a look at the dude fixing his car with the Taco Bell spork. What do you think you are going to see that's so fuckin' interesting that you need to reduce your speed to 5MPH???? If you want something good to watch, get cable TV asshole, don't tie up my commute.
Then there are the accident observers. I think most people WANT to see injured people or corpses all over the highway! Why else would you slow down and gawk at the accident???? What does someone get out of this? Ok, so you get a glimpse of an arm hanging off someone and blood all over the road.....now what? You have a good dinner story at home tonight? What the fuck does seeing it accomplish, keep moving!!!!!!!!! I never understood and hour backup in traffic to get a glimpse of a smashed car. It just does not make sense! A plane crash, ok, stop and have a look. Earthquake damage, ok, I'll let that slide. A fuckin' volcano erupting, by all means, slow down and snap a picture or two, but a fuckin' fender bender, get a life!!!!
What observations have you made on the roadways that annoy the hell out of you????
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
20 comments:
I think I'm mostly irritated by the people I call "Speed Regulators." They're the ones that drive in the fast lane, usually buddied up to someone in the lane to their right, who refuse to drive any faster to pass said person on the right. Hey! Ass! Hat! If I wanted to drive the speed limit (or slower) I would get into the SLOW LANE and do so! I want to be in the FAST LANE to drive, uh, I don't know, FAST! So either speed up or GET THE HELL OUTTA MY LANE! I don't need your moral conscious telling me how fast I should be able to drive!!!!
(Can you tell I had one of these coming in this morning?)
Freaky, you are late everyday anyway! haha :)
Betel, good to have you back!!!! You can rage all you want!!! They are called Rubberneckers here in NY also...I hate that term!
MUSE, do you need a back rub???? :)
I especially dislike the people who like to multi-task while driving.
Last week, one of my kids pointed out the person in the car next to us was :
1. Using a cell phone
2. Putting on make-up
3. Smoking a cigarette
At the same time. An accident waiting (and probably did) to happen.
(In the most pitiful tone possible without being whiny.) Yes, I need a backrub. (Batting big brown eyes.)
Today is a much better day.
I suck, and I'm a multitasker and YES, I DO use my cellphone while I'm driving. I am always on the road, visitng clients so I spend a lot of time driving during the week. And let me tell you, Minnesota drivers are the worst...Minnesota Nice is null and void when someone gets behind the wheel of their car. When I was out in Southern CA for a couple weeks and driving I was AMAZED at how courteious people are on the roads. The one thing I can say for myself is I am generally a couretious driver...unless you piss me off, then I'll flip you the bird.
Here in Texas you have to slow down for an accident or you will get ticket. Oh I hate when people drive way too fast through a constuction zone. There is a reason to slow down through those you can hurt someone even yourself.
I was driving down a busy boulevard when out of the blue a school bus pulled out of a parking lot and made a left turn right in front of us (3 lanes) to go onto the boulevard. Because we all had to break like crazy in order not to hit the fuckin' school bus, I gestured "what the hell" to the bus driver, she laughed at me and flip me the bird! Wow, what a nice example for the kids.
"The Gas Is On The Right!!" This is what I repeadily tell people driving in front of me. And somehow, they don't seem to hear me!
If you can't control your car at 80 or 90 stay out of the far left lane. Those lanes are for us experienced drivers who lack roadway etiquette and patience! I always allow enough time to get to where I am going via the formula: 1 mile @ 60MPH...so since I usually do 80MPH on the highways tha means that I should get there 20% faster. Allowing me the luxury of leaving 10 min late and still arriving on time. But NO! The unskilled drivers of the world have to do the speed limit or below causing me to have to drive slower than my 80MPH and be late for work! Uh! Sorry, in a bitchy mood this morning. I need my vacation to start today!
Actually, this is what really pisses me off on the highway:
Accident on GA-400. Go check it out. And feel free to read some of the other stuff - the guy is a good friend and veddy, veddy witty.
I love these aggressive drivers that weave in and out trying to get nowhere any faster than anyone else. Especially when the person in front of them is only going 75 and they have this overwhelming need to go 80. So they will quickly switch lanes to tailgate the next victim who is going 80 but now they have this overwhelming need to go 85. They just want to be assholes. You usually wind up passing them by anyway because thier stupidity usually catches up to them and actually puts them behind someone going 50. I love when that happens!
good point DarianJ! Isn't it obvious when an overpass is headed straight for your head that you won't fit?
Diane- I want a rocket launcher on the front of my car....clear that left lane out in a hurry!
Muse, thanks for the link, that's insane!!!
Supplymadam, carry a bag of pennies and toss them out of the car when thgey tailgate you, that will slow them down!!!
Charlie - I'd buy one of those rocket launchers, you let me know when you get that idea patented!
In the meantime, I'll keep yelling "Gas in on the RIGHT" and maybe someone will finally here me...one day.
I bet driving on the Autobahn is wonderful!!!
I hate rubberneckers!!!! I was actually one of those people on the ground, looking up at a bunch of gawkers who had PULLED OVER just to look at the accident. Lovely.
My poor cousin actually stopped to HELP after an accident happened in front of his car, and when he got there he saw a person's head on the ground. He was practically catatonic for months.
These idiot rubberneckers deserve to see something like that. On the other hand, they probably watch "Faces of Death" and would enjoy it. Ugh.
Albuquerque, NM is the land of the "orange barrel." Everywhere you drive in ABQ, you encounter these annoying, rabbit reproducing, mucked up barrels. Our Interstate 40, which every trucker in the nation comes through because it runs east to west, is currently under reconstruction through two of the heaviest traffic areas in the city. Now granted, we don't have the population as say . . .NY or anyplace in CA, but oh my gosh I hate those barrels. Feel sorry for me anyway, k.
Panther, are u serious a HEAD????? that's nuts!!!!
A, orange barrels huh??? We do feel sorry for you too, population or not, it still sucks!!!!
And those aren't "pennies from heaven" Good idea. I think I have enough pennies to last the end of this year or maybe even next year. I'm all set now!
Those who create "gawkers block" on the highway piss me off...especially if it involves them fulfilling some sick need to view carnage on the shoulder lane.
And of course, the Sunday driver who hogs the fast lane and drives at a snail's pace. Move the fuck over!
Or those drivers who can't seem to pick a lane and hover over the line....that irks me.
I hate people who ride my ass - when I'm going way above the speed limit even! Fukkers, it's tempting to jam on my brakes and teach em a lesson (that sounds like it could get kinda painful though :op)
I'd slow down & gawk if there were a hot guy broken down on the side of the road ;)
Personally I think everyone needs to try it on 2 wheels!!! While all of you are stuck with your whining and complaining--I'm already there!!
I hate when people don't use their turn signals on the freeway or period for that matter. If a million cars are heading in the same direction and you've got 6 lanes and all the cars are at variable speeds, you have to plan ahead. If people are switching lanes without their signal it fucks up my well planned out lane switching! Cell phone use seems to go hand in hand with non-blinker users!
Post a Comment