America surely is going down the toilet. Can you believe 20 million people watched that fuckin' horrible show "Dancing With the Stars" last week? How fucking desperate are people for entertainment in this country? Who would waste an hour out of their life to sit and watch this complete shit? Who the hell wants to watch former heavyweight champion Holyfield or J. peterman from Seinfeld dancing for a fuckin' hour?
Here is a list of things I'd rather do than watch this show tonight at 9pm:
Drag my balls over 5 acres of rusted tin can lids
Pull all the hair from my body with a DULL tweezer
Give Roseann Barr a gynecological exam
Stick my penis in the bottle crusher at the supermarket
Roll around in a steaming pile of Bruce's dog shit
Listen to the Village People for a week straight
Go shopping for 8 hours with an ex girlfriend
Watch the Sugar V perform his version of the Nutcracker in a tutu
Observe a legless Ethiopian helplessly watch a donut roll down a hill
What would you rather do than watch this horrible show????
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25 comments:
Saw my leg off with a spoon. That's what I'd rather do. You're right. It sucks.
Wow it must have been really bad!!
I'd rather sit through a 6 hour insurance seminar next to a retarded perverted peave with paulsy trying to draw a picture of a vagina on an etch a sketch!!
What are these people thinking!
This is based on the original UK show called "Strictly Dancing" which was a HIT here! I never watched it. I think it's good viewing for old people though
I rather be in a darken pit with Hannabal telling me to put lotion on myself. Lotion!
I agree that it would be most interesting watching the sugar-v in a tutu...dancing to the nutcracker (no pun intended-HA!)
Thanks a lot Charlie! I actually watch this show. LOL. I like it.
KAAAAAAATE!!!!!!!!! No you don't???????????????!!!!!!
Betel taking a shot at "Bored at the Beach!!!" hahahaha, good one!
darian, I love the root canal comment!!!!
Kev- Where do you come up with these?
BLUE!!!! hahahahahahaha Hannibal!!!
Cin- I would pay top dollar to see Sugar V in a tutu, although we could have seen it for free this past Sunday at the "pride" parade he marched in!!!
Cover myself with beef gravy and let a bulldog lick it off.
Have my fingernails pulled off one by one with a sharp tweezer.
Boil someones liver with fava beans for dinner.
Have my gall bladder removed without anesthesia.
Stand in the middle of the LI expressway.
(I was just trying to keep up)
Shove pieces of bamboo under my nail beds.
Give myself 1000 paper cuts and then bathe in lemon juice.
Soak my contacts in turpentine before putting them in (hey, at least then I wouldn't be able to see it!).
Yeah I don't think it is that terrible either though I am rarely home to watch it in its entirity I think the premise is entertaining and honestly I can admit that sometimes I watch ballroom dancing competitions on television. I think things like Big Brother are far worse to endure.
I love that show! Joey is awesome!
and that's why you remain anonymous...I would too!
Yes, I do. I love ballroom dancing, always wished I knew how to move like that.
You're making me laugh. Is it my fault that I having nothing better to do on Wednesday nights than watch this show? LOL.
Kate, there's plenty to do to keep occupied, if you should require any specific ideas, just let me know..... :)
i'm all for specific ideas please...
Hilarious post!
That's hilarious! I'd rather subject myself to enduring some Fox News bullshit during that hour timespan.
Why not pitch your ideas to a TV executive? Who knows?
Maybe they'll give you a reality series and let you actually meet the Villiage People.
Heck, I'd watch.
I'd almost rather listen to President Fucktard speak!!
Almost ;)
I'd rather have toothpicks to hold my eyes open and be forced watch Phony John Kerry's speeches
anonymous, what John Kerry speeches are you still watching? The election was 8 months ago!
I would rather take an ice pick to both my eyeballs and eat them as hors d'ouevres!
THAT is why I pretty much NEVER watch TV... besides, who has time with all these great blogs to read!
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