A Bucket of KFC chicken. At least that's what my neighbor thinks. Let me give you some background on these neighbors. Directly across the street from me are 2 houses full of Dominicans. One house is occupied by about 50 of them, the other by about seven or eight very hot Dominican girls in their early 20's. In the huge house that holds 50 people, there is always drama. I can't figure out how or if these people are related, who the parents of the small kids that live there are, etc. It's very confusing. I do know that they drink a great deal and that they are always noisy. There is one guy in particular who is ALWAYS drunk and fighting with his wife/girlfriend. He is about 50 years old and the poster guy for alcoholism. He is always looking for a fight with the others in the house. On Saturday, I had the SugarV over with his future wife, along with my brother. We were hanging out on the deck when we heard a commotion coming from the Dominican house across the street. The drunken dude was fighting with his wife/girlfriend and she was yelling at him telling him to leave and never come back. He was on the front lawn pleading for her to forgive him for whatever he did. She kept cursing at him and telling him to leave. It was then that he bolted into the house. I thought, oh no, another OJ incident, he's going to kill her and everyone in the house. He runs in the house yelling and comes out with.............
When You Care Enough To Share The Wealth....
A bucket of KFC chicken. He then starts yelling to his wife/girlfriend, "But I love you, eat, eat some chicken. See, I got you chicken, eat, eat the chicken, I love you, please, please have the chicken." It was then that I discovered the knowledge I never possessed and the key to making up with a woman. Just buy her chicken and all is forgiven. Forget the flowers, the chocolate, the cards, the perfume, the fancy dinners at fine restaurants, the Fendi bags, or the spa treatments, women want chicken. They crave extra crispy as well as original recipe, either will suffice. Just have a bucket on hand in case a fight breaks out. It seemed to work for him, a few minutes later they were dining on their front porch with that bucket courtesy of Colonel Sanders himself. I am sure somewhere from the heavens, the Colonel is smiling.......
15 comments:
So chicken's the ticket? Who woulda thunk?
Shoooooot! Chicken is a girls best friend! Har har har.
What ever is "finger lickin' good" is all right with me!!
This story is even funnier reading then actually seeing it.
That's just hysterical! Just proves that some men will try anything (usually easy and available) to get back in good graces with their women....I used to know a few like that!
I've learned that Ice Cream usually gets me out of trouble. That, or some ribbed for her pleasure condoms.
Charlie, come on over to Chicago, I'll show you some chicken!
Screw the Chicken, I love all the other things and more you mentioned!
I have Brazilians that have a HUGE family/friend commune going on next door. Problem is the language - No English. They do consume tons of beer and watch soccer in the a.m. hours, fights break-out and I just peek through the windows. Do you think chicken delivery would help?
I love the fact that I got a spotlight in your mini-poll! That made my otherwise very low-key day. :)
HA! Chicken! Man, that is ghetto. I LOVE it!
Wow C-Mac, I can't believe its taken you this long to realize what women really want!
Personally, I prefer chocolate and flowers! But, to each her own.
Looks like I’ll have to pick up a bucket and keep it in the freezer. That way, during an argument, I can hit the "defrost" button on the micro and time it so I can present the Missus with a drumstick at the right time.
Something about the bones?
From what I understand, KFC now offers a variety bucket, so that whatever her passion, you've got the chicken to match.
But, really, I'm with Kate: It's all about the flowers and the chocolate. I'm afraid that if my (fictional) boyfriend ever presented me with KFC as a peace offering, he may catch a drumstick to the head.
That is hilarious! I'm still laughing over here. It takes more than some greasy chicken to woo me, but to each her own. ;)
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