The "Family Feast"

One of my favorite stories is the tale of the "Family Feast." Whenever I see one of my friends, I make him tell the story. He gets annoyed at times, but I laugh so hard each time he tells this story.

My friend was a pizza delivery boy in high school. The pizza place where he worked had a daily special called a "Family Feast." This feast included one large pizza, 12 garlic knots, a meatball parmasean hero, a 2-liter coke, 2 cannolis, and a salad for like $20.00.


Where's My SALAD???????!!!!! 

One day he was summoned to a house for a delivery of a Family Feast. He arrived at the house with the food and rang the doorbell. A few seconds later this 400lb woman answers the door and greets him. She thanks him and pays him for the food. He drives away, headed back to the restaurant. As he pulled down the block, he looked down on the passenger's seat of his car and realized he forgot to give the woman the salad. He drove back to her house and rang the bell to give her the salad. He rang it and rang it and nobody answered. He couldn't figure out where these people were. He knew they had to be home because he was just there. He walked to the side of the house and looked through the window to see if he could locate the people and get their attention. As he looked in, he saw the woman that answered the door in a recliner, with the food spread out all over the coffee table in front of her. She was all alone eating this family feast. She was in a recliner, with her head cocked back, holding the hero with two hands, licking the cheese off the meatball parmasean hero. He said he knocked on the window but she was like in a trance and didn't hear him. He finally got her attention after 10 minutes of yelling and knocking. He then went back to the front of the house to meet her to give her the salad. She came to the door with sauce all over her face and said, "Gee, I was wondering where the salad was" and thanked him for coming back. He was stunned that she was eating all this food by herself and drove back to the restaurant in disbelief......a classic indeed.