What's the deal with hello and goodbye kisses from people we really don't know all that well? When is it appropriate to kiss someone on the cheek to say hello or goodbye? How many times should you have met this person before you plant one on them or they plant one on you?
For instance, if a good friend of mine comes over with his girlfriend who I don't really know, does she warrant a hello kiss on the cheek? A man shaking a woman's hand is always awkward, so what is the appropriate greeting?
Cia Fai, Hope, and I discussed this the other day at lunch. I had never met Cia Fai until Tuesday, was I supposed to plant one on her when she showed up at my door? Hope I already knew, so that was natural, but what about Cia Fai, should I have extended my hand, or gave her the hello kiss? I greeted her, but no kiss until she left and I knew her a while and was comfortable with her. After talking with her all day, i felt a comfort level and took a liking to her, so it was a natural thing to kiss goodbye.
Whenever I go to parties and meet a bunch of people it's great. It's the goodbye/goodnight that gets tricky. Many times I will go to say goodbye to a woman I just met 2 hours ago, and they will come in for the goodbye kiss on the cheek like they have known me for years.
When I throw a party, I invite ladies I work with over the house. I would not kiss them goodbye at work, why does that change at my house? Why is a goodbye kiss ok there, but not at work? The feelings for each other as friends are still the same.
There have been times that I've gone to a party with a female friend or girlfriend and met her friends and talked all night with them. At the end of the night I was like Richard Dawson from "Family Feud" kissing all these women goodnight that I had just met.
What's your kiss hello/goodbye policy? I personally base it on my comfort level with a woman, the conversation we had throughout the day/night, any personal connection I may feel for her.
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I have a bunch of friends from Venezuela that are men. For them, it's a cultural thing. We always kiss on the cheek with a hug to say hello and goodbye.
Most of my other friends that are American that I'm close with, we just hug. But that could just be me--I like hugs.
I don't really do the hello/goodbye fake kiss thing, just seems a bit weird. I'll shake hands if someone offers theirs, but that's also a bit too formal for me, I usually just give a good "yo" and be done with it....
However, if a hot guy were involved, that's a whole 'nuther story ;)
Our European friends are big hello kissers. Over here, it seems to be clients, believe it or not, that do it more often than friends!
About the colleagues kissing at a party but not at the office, I think that it's simply in order not to give "gossipers" material to gossip about.
Here in Québec it's a cultural thing to kiss on both cheeks when we meet people (family members, friends and "new people" included).
If you and I would meet, I'd welcome you with a big/warm hug and two kisses and would feel really insulted if you wouldn't agree to it. It's really a cultural thing here (and I love it!).
A hug! I love the hug at first. Especially if it's someone new and you're interested. You get a good feeling from a hug. Deep and intense...or light and casual.
If it's a friend you know well...a hug and little kiss on the cheek is nice. If it's someone you barely know a hand is perfectly fine.
I just like the newness of a hug. I've hugged someone before I felt was just a friend and after that hug...mmm there was more. I love the unknown.
XOXO
C
I guess I have to go with spur of the moment. If it feels like the right thing at the time and you have kind of a special feeling or closeness to that person then I guess it can warrant a kiss on the cheek. I think it just shows appreciation of friendship. Cheeks are okay with me.(face cheeks that is)
definately a handshake at a first meeting (a nice firm one that doesn't feel like a fish) even a two handed handshake is good if inclined.... until you feel comfortable with that person then maybe a hug.
Co-worker female friends over to the house for a party...... MOST definately a handshake. (A gentleman would never allow a woman to misinterpret his intentions - a kiss is a big no-no for people you work with)
Kisses on the cheek for me are meant for good friends and family. Kisses on the mouth are meant for lovers.
The Hello/Goodbye Kiss is tricky. I have friends I've known all my life and well we give kisses on the cheek hello and goodbye. That's cool. If it's someone I just met that day they get a hug goodbye. I'm big on hugs. Hugs are good, warm and honest. And most people like hugs :-) I should put that on a tshirt "I'm a hugger"...see how many hugs I get from total strangers :)
You can tell a lot about a man from the way that he hugs you. As casual as it may seem, it's wonderfully intimate and very sexy if done correctly.
This is a little off topic, but...
If I'm dating someone and they are lagging behind on the first kiss, but I know they want to, a kiss on the jaw bone can stir any man up.
I think I would have to be pretty comfortable with someone to kiss someone hello/goodbye. (Or Drunk) it's just not natural for me. HUGS...yes, but kisses no...unless you come to Cali Charlie, then well ya know I'd make an exception! *wink*
I suppose it depends on my comfort level of feeling of "connection" with the person. I'm into hugging, but not always kissing or being kissed by someone I don't know very well or have a feeling of closeness to.
There's nothing like a kiss on the cheek from a beautiful lady. I try to get in as many as I can :)
I dont kiss strangers!!! Owning a bar someone is always wanting to plant one on you...eeeeewwwwww....drives me insane!!!!!!!
I'm Greek so we kiss everyone hello and goodbye on both cheeks. It gets pretty annoying.
Haha-- I loved the Richard Dawson reference. I loved that drunk old bastard.
Yeah, that's a tough one. I never think to do the kiss, so once someone gives me one, we're already pulling away and I end up doing the air-kiss where you just make a "mwah" sound.
That's almost as bad as the hug where your bodies make the letter A: you're trying to stand sort of apart, but stretch your arms and heads toward each other. Yuck.
I'm French so I'm used to kiss everyone on the cheeks. I just don't do it here because it's not the culture, in France I do and so do my DH and the kids, even though my 6yo son wipe his cheeks on his shoulders after each kiss....LOL
I would definitely kiss friends and relatives here who I'm very comfortable with, just don't happen that often...
Hmm my policy is the only person who gets a hello/goodbye kiss is my boyfriend...then again when the neighbors son was little he always used to kiss me goodbye but for the most part I am all for the wave from my personal space...
Kiss if I know them well, no kiss if I just met them, but everyone gets hugs. I am a serial hugger, and fairly touchy-feely, which can sometimes be taken the wrong way. Just because I touch you on the arm does not mean I want to take you home. Well, normally it doesn't. LOL.
do it if it feels right.
Otherwise forget it!!!
I let the other person lead. If they go in for the phoney air kiss thing, fine. Whatever. It doesn't bother me. If they go in for a shake or just give a wave or nod, even better.
haha...this is such a Seinfeld thing.
The kiss hello/goodbye is very New York, hence I usually do it unless I'm really grossed out by the person.
It IS funny about work people in a social situation, though. I went to a golf outing with a bunch of guys from work a few weeks ago, and although I don't kiss them at work (well, not that anyone KNOWS about .. haha), they all kissed me goodbye.
Since I know you're a little weird about it, i won't kiss you if I ever meet you, Charlie. ;)
I now know how I have been getting to otehr cool blogs... it's through yours! I'm going to link you if you don't mind.
As for kissing... coming from Seattle, I *never* ran across the situation... except with a family member (on the cheek of course) or a dear loved one.
When I moved out here to the east coast, I felt violated everytime I was invited to aparty. For the first 6 months I rented a room from an old lady and she (and all her friends) would kiss me upon meeting me and leaving... they were italian. Freaked the heck out of me.
Hugs... I'm ok with... definately handshakes. But being kisssed by a girl you just met and are in no way interested or in "party mode" (TM) is like hugging a guy you just met goodbye. Awkward as hell... heck... I find it awkward to hug my best friend.
Maybe we just have issues over there :)
Hi, With business I was always very professional with being the first to reach out & shake hands.
But my true personality is HUGS.....everyone - I do not care. So much time in Italy, then started kissing cheeks constantly...but I truly feel warm hugging people even if I have only been around them a short time.
I like people and if I can make them feel comfortable in my presense then I have accomplished what I set out to do.
I think it is a big deal in the south to hug and kiss EVERYONE! If I don't know you that well I will not go out of my way to touch you. If I do you are definitly getting a hug and a kiss. Up here in Boston, people are so closed to being touched and they seem very akward to it all.
Charlie, I would expect a kiss!
Yes, I'm feeling better, hehe!
:*
Princess
Easy rule for me: immediate family, or women of very, very, close friends.
My family & friends are big cheek-kissers; how about the unexpected on-the-lips goodbye kiss from someone not on the usual kissing list? AWKWARD!
Kisses are for the people I love, hugs are for the people I care about and hand shakes are for anyone else.
Coming from an Italian heritage, you greet someone with two kisses one on each cheek and I'm not talking about someone’s ass, it's sort of an insult if you do not give a kiss hello even if you just met them. That or they think you are some stuck up fucking asshole that you think you're too good for them. Watch out for the horns! I was brought up with sincerity and respect. My rule, well it's the vibe I get off the person, male or female.
Living here and living the American culture you always give the handshake when you are introduced to someone. In Italy the only hand you'll get is a slap across the face if you did that. Sometimes I don't even give a handshake nor a kiss hello. It really depends on the situation. If it's business I always give my firm handshake, which I get comments on every single time I shake hands with someone. They never expect a firm handshake from me. My handshake only describes me as who I am. Confident in what I'm involving myself into when I am speaking with them.
Friends, well, I always give a kiss hello to my friends and a kiss goodbye. Heck I even give hugs!! I know I know...dangerous. It's only because it's also part of my Italian culture and in my heart.
Co-workers, ehh depends how comfortable I am with them, but you always have to keep it business like at work. Last time I gave hugs and kisses saying goodbye to my ex co-worker was because I was laid off and I wouldn't see them again, did that holding in my tears. This also reminds me of a recent story. I had gone to see an old co-worker for a new job. When I saw him I gave him a kiss hello on the cheek and a slight hug, even though we were in a business place. At the end of the day, we saw another co-worker as I was leaving and I gave my old co-worker a kiss goodbye on the cheek in front of his other co-worker, who coincidentally I know, but not that much. My old co-worker face turned a little red from embarrassment. Heck I didn't give a shit! I am me, and you'll either get a hug or kiss or a firm handshake, depends what vibe you give me.
Crapper this comment was fucking long. I could be here all damn day.
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