Take My What Off?

What's the deal with people who make you take your shoes off before stepping into their homes? This annoys the shit out of me. It's one thing if you have an "in house" rule for family members, but it's really rude to make guests take off their shoes when they arrive at your home.

I've been to homes where I was picking someone up and only staying for like 15 minutes and had to take my shoes off, what the fuck is that all about?



What's The Point? 

Any of you who have been to my home know I am very neat and clean. My home is nicely decorated and in order all the time. I would never, ever make someone take thier shoes off before entering my home, it's just stupid and rude in my opinion. Unless someone is working in the tar pits or in shin deep mud all day, how much dirt are they bringing in from their home, to their car, to my doorstep? It's completely absurd. If there is an absolutely soaking rain outside and they had to step across dirt to get to my door, perhaps I'd suggest a shoe removal, but not as an every day rule. People should feel at "home" when they come to a friend's home, not have to feel inconvenienced as soon as we enter. I am sure most of us have nice homes, but none of us have homes that are going to be on the next MTV cribs, nor is Robin Leach showing up anytime soon. Take a deep breath and let your guests feel at ease and comfortable upon entry.

Stop Honking You Lazy Prick!

The horn is the most abused feature of today's motor vehicle. The horn was designed for cases of emergency. Not emergency as in, Hey, buddy, the light is green, but emergency as in, Hey, this guy doesn't understand the merge concept.

The honking that I would like to address doesn't even occur when we are on the road; it occurs while we are relaxing at home and the neighbor decides to HONK for her son to come out. The son doesn't come out because he can't hear her over his music, so what does mom do? She honks again. And again. Honk, honk, honk, honk.


Shut The Fuck UP!!!!!! 

I noticed that obnoxious people out there frequently pull up in front of other people's homes and "honk" the horn when they pull up to pick them up. Isn't this an outdated way of communicating? Everyone has cell phones now and use them for every other reason except to let someone know when they are in front of someone's house. Last night at about 10, a car across the street was basically honking for 15 minutes straight. These honks lasted for 45 seconds straight and happened a bunch of times. What kind of an idiot does this? Get out of your car and go to the door you lazy fuck or call from your cell and let them know you are out front. Then at 12:30, just as I had fallen asleep, I heard another horn on the street behind my house honking for someone. What the fuck? I live in a residential area, not the city! Not that it is even acceptable in the city to do! Why can't people consider other people when making these decisions? Is it that hard to call someone and say I'm out front? Or call them when you are down the block and say "I'm on your block, I'll be there in a minute" so the person can be ready and come out? The one time people SHOULD use their cell phone, they choose the fuckin' horn and choose disrupting my quality of life instead! Get out of the car and ring the bell you fat lazy fucks! Then we wonder why there is an obesity epidemic.

"Walking on Sunshine" The Muse Interview

As you know, Friday is interview day here at "The Beach". This week I had the opportunity to ask a few questions to The Muse. Her site "Strip Search City" is a place we all love to visit. For your Friday reading pleasure, here is my interview with the one and only Muse.

CMAC- What single event in your life most shaped the person you are today?

MUSE- Its really hard for me to narrow it down to a single event - there are so many milestones in my life, from the birth of my sister who is 10 years my junior (and OMG, I'm not the only child anymore), to my grandmother being diagnosed with cancer, to the death of my grandfather... but I think the event that would unconditionally have resulted in me being a different person had it not happened, was the move from "big-city" Las Vegas, NV to rural town C'ville, GA. Although I had moved several times before, it had all been within the same city, and this was a cross-country move which changed EVERYTHING in my life. I knew none but my own family, and I didn't really even know my cousins. I no longer lived in a neighborhood with kids my age - they were all younger and went to county schools. Everything about the system was different, the way they taught subjects, class set-up, expectations. I was forced to make completely new friends and figure out how to make it on my own. It was even a clean slate for me - a challenge because no one knew who I was before the move. I was known as "the chick from Vegas" or "Erin's cousin." I could shape my own identity. Without that move, it is highly unlikely that I would've gone to UGA and ended up here in Atlanta today. And it was in those first few weeks of adjustment that I met the girl I'm proud to call my best friend of 11 years, Lana.



The Muse is always shining her light on us all..... 

CMAC- Each relationship is different and the chemistry with different couples varies, but at what point do you think it is "acceptable" to have sex with someone? (ex: 3rd date, a month, etc.)

MUSE- For me, it all depends on what I'm feeling between me and the guy and how long I've known him. If its a friend of some time that I've suddenly started dating, there's already a foundation, and it would happen maybe around the 3rd date or so. With a guy that I meet and then date, if the chemistry is real, I can visualize it happening very early on in the first date (why else would there be subsequent dates?) but don't act on it. Usually, by the 3rd or 4th date, I've determined if there's something other than lust - if our personalities mesh, if he honestly makes me laugh. The anticipation of it is part of it, so for myself, I think the "acceptable" point is one date past where you want to tear his clothes off before you even have the appetizer at dinner.

CMAC- What are your five favorite movies of all time and why?

MUSE- The Princess Bride: I've watched this movie hundreds of times and still don't find it boring. I can quote every line, and the soundtrack is beautiful (one of Mark Knopfler's best, in my opinion). Any time I'm not feeling well, my mom would put it on and my grandmother would make me homemade soup. Its part of my childhood.
- The Goonies: Another childhood favorite. There's adventure, fantasy, a little puppy love and an adorable Sean Austin. I've passed on my love of it to my younger sister, and now we watch it together when I'm home.
- Singles: The epitome of 90s pop culture with a very honest look at the game of dating. And it makes me want to use the line "I was just nowhere near your neighborhood..."
- Road Trip: Not a classic. Definitely not a film masterpiece. But it was filmed on the UGA campus my freshman year, and every time I watch it, I'm brought back to that moment in time when I was still an art major, and I felt like I was in an MTV whirlwind (this movie, they were casting for the Real World, and there was a Loveline scandal on my hall all around the same time). It just is part of my college days.
- Kevin Smith movies (Clerks, Chasing Amy, Mallrats, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl): All of them cover something/sometime in my life that is important. From Chasing Amy - what happens when you overstep the bounds of friendship and how it changes you and your relationships, Dogma - my theological debating years, to Jersey Girl - knowing that my life could've been very similar to Gertie's, had we not been very, very lucky.

CMAC- Where do you see "The Muse" 5 years from now in 2010? Where would you like to be and where do you actually think you'll be in reality?

MUSE- In five years, I'll be nearing my 30th birthday, so I'll probably be trying to fit in all the crazy things I'd like to be able to explain away later as, "Oh, back in my 20s..." even if its 5 days after my 30th birthday, and mere weeks separate that day from the event. I would like to be nearing completion on the novel I've been writing on and off since I turned 21. I would like to be the proud owner of a home. I would like to be well-established in whatever career choice I've made. I would like to be in a loving, stable relationship. In reality, I'll always be a work-in-progress, as will be my book, my home, my career and my relationship. But I'm becoming more and more comfortable with that idea every day. (Not without a little prodding from my friends, of course.)

CMAC- Tell us about the first time you fell in love, then tell us how that feeling of being "in love" differs from your view of love today.

MUSE- Honestly, I don't think I've ever been in love. I've had some all-consuming crushes over the years. I've experienced a severe case of lust. I've been in love with the idea of being in love. I told an ex that I loved him, knowing that's what he wanted to hear (he said it first), and knowing that's what I should've been elated to "finally" say. I never wanted to admit it to anyone, or even to myself, but even then, I knew it sounded hollow. Like it was something I was supposed to do, rather than a verbal expression of true feelings. But that's what a lot of our relationship was based on - going through the motions of what we were supposed to do/say/feel. And I regret not being honest with myself and him at the time. But, either way, it was certainly a learning experience. My view of love today is still evolving. I'm still shaking off some of the idealistic, Hollywood-fed cliches, the romances. Maybe its because I'm more jaded.

CMAC- What is the best live concert you've ever been to? What made it so good and memorable?

MUSE- The band is simple, as I've been a fan of Cowboy Mouth for over 9 years, but there isn't a single show I've seen of theirs hasn't been memorable. The first one, of course, because I had never had a more cathartic experience in my entire life. I was sweating, hoarse from screaming, exhausted and completely happy (sounds like something else rather cathartic, doesn't it?). Another, I reconnected with a guy that I met at a previous show where we failed to exchange numbers, but this one he wrote my number down in sharpie on his arm and we later dated for a few months. Another, I met the band at the sushi restaurant next door and they signed my liner notes. At a show in Athens, the tour manager made sure that a friend of mine could get in the venue, even though there was a strict 18-over policy (she was 18, but had no valid ID, as her wallet had been stolen). And I met CB at the most recent one. There are at least another 5 shows that I've seen where it was just being there that was memorable.

CMAC- Finally, what feeling/lessons/etc do you want your readers to get each time they log on to "Strip Search City"?

MUSE- I really just want people to be able to laugh with me (or at me - I don't care, as long as there is laughter involved). To serve as some part of entertainment or escape for a small portion of the day. That people aren't alone out there in their frustrations, ranting, happiness or elation. And honestly, I think I learn more from my readers and their reactions to my goings-on than anything else. Plus, its just fun to put a part of myself out there and let it fly.

Thanks to the MUSE for taking the time out to answer my questions and for sharing part of her life and experiences with all of us.

Kiss or No Kiss?

What's the deal with hello and goodbye kisses from people we really don't know all that well? When is it appropriate to kiss someone on the cheek to say hello or goodbye? How many times should you have met this person before you plant one on them or they plant one on you?

For instance, if a good friend of mine comes over with his girlfriend who I don't really know, does she warrant a hello kiss on the cheek? A man shaking a woman's hand is always awkward, so what is the appropriate greeting?

Cia Fai, Hope, and I discussed this the other day at lunch. I had never met Cia Fai until Tuesday, was I supposed to plant one on her when she showed up at my door? Hope I already knew, so that was natural, but what about Cia Fai, should I have extended my hand, or gave her the hello kiss? I greeted her, but no kiss until she left and I knew her a while and was comfortable with her. After talking with her all day, i felt a comfort level and took a liking to her, so it was a natural thing to kiss goodbye.

Whenever I go to parties and meet a bunch of people it's great. It's the goodbye/goodnight that gets tricky. Many times I will go to say goodbye to a woman I just met 2 hours ago, and they will come in for the goodbye kiss on the cheek like they have known me for years.

When I throw a party, I invite ladies I work with over the house. I would not kiss them goodbye at work, why does that change at my house? Why is a goodbye kiss ok there, but not at work? The feelings for each other as friends are still the same.

There have been times that I've gone to a party with a female friend or girlfriend and met her friends and talked all night with them. At the end of the night I was like Richard Dawson from "Family Feud" kissing all these women goodnight that I had just met.

What's your kiss hello/goodbye policy? I personally base it on my comfort level with a woman, the conversation we had throughout the day/night, any personal connection I may feel for her.

Lunch With Hope and CiaFai

On my mini vacation this past weekend/week I got in all kinds of rest and relaxation. I also got to see some friends that I had not seen in a long time. One of those friends is Hope. Do any of you have a friend that you maybe go a while without seeing or talking to, but when you do, it seems like you just spoke to or saw him/her? Well that's how it is with Hope. She is such a great person and always finds a way to put a smile on my face. We've chatted about many things over the past 3+ years and it's good to know I can always call or write to her and that she'll give me a good perspective on things, not to mention make me laugh.

A few months ago, Hope and I were talking on the phone and I mentioned my blog. She went on to tell me that her friend Cia Fai also had a blog and that I should check it out. Well, later that night I logged on and checked out her blog. I immediately found her fascinating. I loved her writing style and I connected with her descriptive and deep way of writing. She wrote with so much emotion that I sort of felt the way she was feeling just by reading her posts. She's posted some really funny stuff as well. I started commenting on her blog and she reciprocated. We then got to e-mailing and chatting on messenger. I absolutely adore her stories and her perspective on things. Well, after a couple of phone chats, Cia Fai accompanied Hope to my house this past Tuesday.

I had such a great time with them. They absolutely feed off of one another, sort of like Sugar V and I do. They both had me smiling and laughing all day. They are both talented singers and I hope they both make it someday, not to mention that they are both beautiful ladies. They look very different, but they both are absolutely stunning ladies. Add their personalities and their humor to the mix, and it's just a perfect combination.

Cia Fai's stories captivate me. Whether it be on instant messenger, the phone, or in person. She's definitely one person that would never bore me. I mentioned to a few of my friends on Wednesday how I could have listened to her talk all day and night long. She's just a very unique and interesting individual. I pictured her more shut in and reclusive, sort of "mysterious" until I met her on Tuesday. She has a wonderful personality and is very eclectic. She can go from very serious topics to joking around at the drop of a hat. Check out her blog when you have a chance and link it, you will be glad you did.

As far as Hope, she got started blogging on Tuesday. I'm not sure she's going to share her link with anyone, as she wants it to be a personal type of a blog, but if she ever changes her mind, I'll be sure to read it. She has always been someone I could count on to make me smile or laugh with. She's just a kind and caring person and I am glad I've been her friend for the past 3+ years.

I had a great lunch and day with these two ladies. I hope to see them again soon.

"Puffy"

I've always wondered why people in the workplace are rewarded for having a bad habit like smoking. Rewarded in the sense that they get to go outside about 20 times a day to smoke. I am a person who has never even tried a cigarette so I don’t understand the whole nicotine addiction, however, I do understand work and work ethic. There are people at my job and at jobs past that spend a good couple of hours a day if you add up the time for each cigarette, outside smoking. That’s insane. So, say I am addicted to caffeine, do I get to stand outside gulping down 7-11 Big Gulps of Coke all day? Maybe I have a food addiction, to I get to head outside a bunch of times daily to eat brownies and candy? What about our friendly crack addicts and alcoholics, perhaps we should give them a few breaks as well to get their fix?

I worked with this woman Kim a few years ago, Kim would take “work breaks.” See she would smoke all day and then take breaks from smoking to go to her desk and work. We dubbed her “Puffy” and the name caught on until she was finally fired for never doing any work. This woman smoked like 40 cigarettes a day. You know how Marlboro gives out prizes with those UPC codes from the carton? Well this woman surely owned every Marlboro prize known to man which most likely included the Marlboro NASCAR, the Marlboro Jet, and I am sure she had a Marlboro couch, coffee table, and every other piece of furniture that had the logo on it. We would all take bets at the start of each day as to how many cigarette breaks she would take. We’d all toss in a buck and tally them up…..it made it fun. This woman STUNK of smoke all day, she had that cloud of smoke following her, sort of like that Pig Pen dude on the Peanuts cartoon.

Ok, off to take a vodka break. hahaha Do you have these people at your job too, that are ALWAYS outside smoking?

Cut-Off Times

I am not one to call people late, especially on a weeknight because I go to sleep relatively early on work nights. But often I hear people complaining about receiving calls at their homes late, past "the cut-off time".


It's past the cut-off time!!!!!!!!! 

Now, unless you tell people what your cut-off time is, how the fuck is someone supposed to know? Obviously if you call someone at 3am, it's past anyone's cut-off time except those who work for fuckin' NORAD. But seriously, some people's cut-off time is 9pm, some people's are 10pm, some people's are later. How is this cut-off time determined and how is someone supposed to know when your cut-off time is? You call someone at like 9:15pm feeling that you are well within cut-off time range and you get an attitude and they say they don't like calls past 9, well, how are you supposed to know this? Also, is there a grace period? Like up to 10 minutes after the cut-off time?

There should be a space in your cell or home phone to put someone's cut-off time. As you scroll through your phone for the name and go to dial, it should remind you that you are attempting a call past the cut-off time. Ok, I am being silly, but how does one know or determine someone's cut-off time? Do kids equal like an 8pm cut-off? Does the person getting up at 4am to farm, determine a 9pm cut-off?

I wonder if cut-off times have to be on the half hour or the hour. Can you have a 9:45 cut-off? How about a 10:10? I am officially making mine 10:17pm.

What's your cut-off time and how do you make others aware of it? Has anyone ever called you past your cut-off and pissed you off? Have you ever gotten attitude for calling pst another's cutoff time? I am very curious about this

It's Fun To Stay At The........

Y.....M......C......A!

This is a very true story everyone. Today, The Sugar V was in my office and we got to talking about fitness and working out. He mentioned that he recently joined a gym in Brooklyn where his fiancee lives. He told me it was only $30.00 a month. I found that odd because the gym I belonged to for years was $70.00 a month and the gyms I worked at as a trainer were well over $50.00 a month. He just blurted out, "Oh, it's the YMCA." Well, I started laughing out of conrol, the YMCA!!! All I pictured was this:


Which One Is The Sugar V 

I'd have to say he looks most like the cowboy.......I just hope he does not drop the soap if he showers up in there........

Friday's Interview

Don't forget to look for my interview with "The Muse" appearing this Friday morning. I have made my selection for the following Friday, and the next interview will be with Heather, if she'd be so kind! :)

Shower Familiarity

I think the best place to take a shower is in your own house. Not only for the comfort and familiarity, but for the hot and cold water knob calibration knowledge. At your own house, you know exactly how far, even if it's one millimeter, you need to adjust that knob if you want your water hotter or cooler. When you are at a friend's house or at a hotel you are all confused when it comes to the water temperature calibration. In some places you move the knob less than a millimeter and it raises the water temperature like 100 degrees. In some places you move that knob like halfway around and the water does not change temperature. It sucks when you have to get familiar with this process while you are already under the water. You find yourself jumping all over the shower when you are adjusting the temperature at an unfamiliar place because you want to avoid the stream of water in case that slight of hand turns the water boiling or freezing. Also, at home, you are used to a certain water pressure. You go to some places and it trickles, at other places, you get to power wash yourelf.

By the way folks, I am dropping on the charts like a Milli Vanilli tune, I need some Top Blog Votes!!!!!!! :)

Running Into People.....

Well, I am back to work after 4.5 days off. The time off was nice and well needed. I will try to catch up on everyone's blog today/tonight. Sorry for being neglectful. I did have an interesting lunch with Cia Fai yesterday, be sure to stop by her site and read all about it.

Don't you hate when you run out to the store for some milk and you end up running into someone you absolutely don't want to run into? Or how about going to a sporting event, a party, or any other social event and running into someone you absolutely never wanted to see again?

Come on, we all have a list of people that we absolutely never ever want to run into again. Maybe someone that wronged you or someone you wronged. Maybe a person you had a bad breakup with, or maybe a co-worker you hated from a previous job. It's almost inevitable that we will run into someone we don't want to see at some point. Here is a short list of 3 people I hope to NEVER run into again:

My ex, Joyce- We lived together and dated for a few years, we did not have a bad breakup, I just fell out of love with her and we both moved on. We still live in the same town and I saw her on the boardwalk about two months ago when I was running. I had sunglasses on and I pretended not to see her. I really would have nothing to say to her and it would be very awkward running into her in a setting where I may be forced to talk to her.


Oh Shit!!!! Is that her???? 

My former roomie, Alex- Alex and I were very close. We shared a house for about a year and a half and we had six months left on the lease when he decided to bail on me and the $2000.00 a month rent. I basically had no choice but to move on two weeks notice and he actually had the balls to want his security deposit back. That situation created a huge rift in the friendship and we have not spoken in over two years. It would most definitely be awkward to run into him again.

The owner of my last place of employment, Kim- When I left the job after 5+ quality years of service, I wrote her a long letter explaining to her all the shenanigans that went on there and how she was oblivious to all the laziness and all the people that sat around and did absolutely nothing all day. She did not take it too well and was very upset that I wrote the letter, she was one who took things very personal rather than taking emotion out of it and looking at the facts. I would feel really awkward, even though I was right and had good intentions with the letter, if I ran into her.

Let's hear about people you never want to run into again and why!

Hope That Helps

I've had a few e-mails and comments stating that access to my site was difficult since I had the videos playing. I got rid of it, so I hope that helps anyone who was having trouble getting on here. :)

The Importance of Baseball

I rarely blog about it, but I am a HUGE baseball fan. The reason I don't blog about it is because if I started talking/writing baseball, I'd never stop. I've loved the game since I was a small child. In case you are wondering, I am a YANKEE FAN!

What's strange about my choice of team is that my dad is a Mets fan. He was a huge NY Giants fan before they packed up and headed west to San Francisco. He stuck to the National League and became a Mets fan in 1962 when they set up shop here in Queens. The reason I became a Yankee fan is because the Mets were so bad back in the late 70's when I was small, that my dad couldn't stand watching them so we'd watch the Yankees. I fell in love with them.

Everyone seems to think it's easy being a Yankee fan. I will admit, the past 10 years or so of making the playoffs every year has been fun. But I remember the long, dry spell from 1982-1994 when the Yankees did not make the playoffs once. From 1988-1992 they were one of the worst teams in baseball. It was depressing, but I stuck with them.

In a way, life would be a great deal less stressful if I did not like baseball. Each night is an emotional roller coaster depending on how the Yankees play and what the final score is. The last game and how they are playing is constantly on my mind. My moods change depending on how the Yankees are doing.

The emotional roller coaster each night is well worth it though. Baseball brings back so many memories for me. It's something my dad and I have always had in common. My dad has always been a quiet guy and a man of few words, but baseball is something we always had in common to discuss. My dad had a stroke last year which limited and impaired his speech, but when I go out to see him, it's something he always manages to discuss with me no matter what. I have an entire room at home dedicated to the Yankees and baseball. It's decorated with plaques, pictures, memorabilia, a showcase of baseball trinkets, etc. Over the years I have bought my dad so much Mets memorabilia that his den is a living tribute to them and to the NY Giants.



The Shot Heard 'Round The World 

The strike in 1994 pissed me off. The recent steroid allegations and the high salaries have made me a bit bitter also. But, the pureness and the good of the game is what I see most of all when I watch baseball. Baseball has brought families together for generations. There's a certain feeling I get when I step inside a baseball stadium or step out on to a baseball field to play. It brings me back to an age of innocence. Baseball was, still is, and always will be, an important part of my life.

Daytripper

Warning, this will be a boring post!! Just wanted to share my day off with all of you. Well, due to cloudy/overcast weather for a good portion of the day, my planned trip to the water park was postponed, however, we did make our way out to Montauk Point which is the eastern most point on Long Island and in the State of New York. It's about a 2 hour drive from my house. Here are a few (not very good) pics from today. It was a pretty fun day, but then again, any day NOT at the office is fabulous.


The Eastern Most Point In NY 


C-Mac enjoying the day...... 


The Famous Montauk Lighthouse 

Also, be sure to check out and maybe link my new music blog on yours! :) If you love music like I do, I'll see you over there as well and we'll chat music!

Has Political Correctness Gone Too Far?

Welcome back from the weekend everyone! I had a great weekend and I still have two more days off before I head back to work. I couldn't stay away from blogging until Wednesday, I felt the urge to write, so here I am!

So, I had to stop at Kohl's Department store real quick on Friday for something. As I made my way around the store, I stumbled upon this and I just had to snap a picture with my camera phone:


What's Next, An Amputee? 

Has America gone too far with this political correctness? Do we really need a mannequin in a wheelchair? I mean, have people in wheelchairs rolled into the streets and demanded to be represented by mannequins?

Perhaps all groups, sects, disabilities, diseases, and afflictions should be represented by mannequins just to make everyone out there happy. We can have the AIDS patient mannequin, the blind mannequin, the diabetic mannequin complete with an insulin syringe, the retro polio mannequin, and a down's syndrome mannequin. Maybe we'll throw in an obese mannequin and an anorexic one so everyone is represented.

Sure this is just a mannequin and some may be wondering what the big deal is. The big issue is that this country, the media, and many people are petty and need to make a big issue out of trivial things like this. Many people feel the need to walk on eggshells and appease everyone's little petty issues. I am not one of those people. I am definitely not insensitive to things and I definitely do believe in causes, but in causes that have an impact on people and will better the world, not on fighting for representation by mannequins.

America, a country united by the English language for years, is now a country of 10 choices at an ATM or on a customer service line. The reason, politicians are afraid of passing a law to make English our official language because of the chance of a backlash at election time. Don't get me wrong, I am all for diversity, culture, heritage, and pride in one's ethnicity, but there needs to be common thread that unites us and language is just that. My grandparents were forced to learn English when they ventured over from Italy back in the early 1900's. They had no choice but to learn it. There were no signs in Italian, no Italian radio stations, and no Italian taught at public schools. My family still enjoyed their culture and were proud people despite having to assimilate. Today, we make it very easy for certain groups of people and give them no reason to learn the English language. Generation after generation is born here and each generation is either too lazy or feel there is no need to learn English in America. Our government does nothing about it because of this wave of political correctness.

There are so many politically correct stances the media and our government take, what are some that piss you off?

It's Monday! Kindly vote for "Bored at the Beach" by clicking on the brown "Top Blog" icon to the left. Thanks everyone!!!!

Back From The Weekend!

The weekend is over! It went pretty quickly, but I had a great time. I am off until Wednesday, but will be back blogging tomorrow morning before I head out to enjoy the day at Splish Splash! I missed you all and definitely could not stay away from writing until mid week! Catch you all tomorrow!!!!

Taking A Short Break

Hey everyone! I just want to wish you all a wonderful weekend and I wanted to thank you all for another great week of blogging. Thanks for your continued visits, comments, and support of the site!

I am taking a few days off from work next week. I plan on getting some much needed rest and relaxation! I will most likely be away from the blogging, but will return Wednesday, at the latest! I may check in before then. Feel free to leave any comments, suggestions, or any other remarks you would like and I'll catch up with you all in a few days!


"Catch" You All later!!! 

Have a great weekend!!!!

I am going to leave you with a question that INDEPENDENTGRL asked me to post on here. We both welcome your input and comments:

Since we have all connected with members of the opposite sex at some point in our lives, what thing(s) will you NEVER do again thanks to a husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/friend with benefits/casual date who didn't do it right or well?

Male Bashing?

We live in a great country where anyone can say what they want and express themselves freely. Recently, I’ve come across so many blog posts that bash men. I’m sure many of these men were probably douche bags and deserve the criticism. On a daily basis I read many blogs written by ladies and I respect all of you for your opinions and experiences. I find your insight on life very thought provoking and informative. But, for a minute here, I have to ask that you see the other side of things. What I find disturbing are the "general" statements made about men, rather than statements made about an individual who may have done something wrong or inappropriate. People should be judged/criticized on an individual basis based on how a person behaves and treats others.

Have any of you ladies ever taken a step back and thought that maybe some of these guys are the way they are because they’ve gone through the torture and torment of a crazy ass bitch? Sure, many men are scumbags. They were born that way and they will die that way. They were raised to treat women like shit and they always will. I must say though, that there are many good guys out there. Good guys that deal with and go through the same stuff you describe, the only difference is that it’s dealt to us by women of the same caliber as these scumbag men you speak of.

We come across women with more baggage than American Airlines and more issues than the Sunday Times. We deal with women who claim they are single, but are attached and are players. We deal with women who say they are emotionally over their last man, only to find out months down the line that they never got over them. We deal with women who are liars, cheats, mentally unstable, stalkers, emotionally abusive, and a host of other poor qualities. The difference is that society thinks because we have a dick in our pants that we don’t have a heart.

Just like you, we hurt when we come across these people. We get jaded and a bit fucked up when we come across one of these women just as you do when you come across a scumbag. We hurt, we feel pain, we get sad, and it affects us. It takes us time to get over this just as it does for you. At times maybe we don’t vocalize the pain or the hurt like many women do, but trust me, it’s there and we feel it.

This post isn’t an attempt to defend men who don’t deserve to be defended. I hope, just as you all do, that they get what they deserve someday. I just hope that you ladies realize that we go through the same issues daily that you do, the only difference with us is that society frowns on us for showing emotion. Yes, women and men have many differences but we also share so much common ground. It’s getting together on that common ground to rid ourselves and steer clear of these assholes (both men and women) together so we can all be happy and bullshit free. If you are a guy and your male friend treats women like shit, don’t encourage it, call him out on it and tell him to grow the fuck up. Same with the ladies, if one of your girls is fucked up and doing bad shit behind her guy’s back, don’t just laugh it off or encourage it, take a fuckin’ stand. Too many people don’t have the nerve or the courage to tell their friends they are acting in a fucked up way. We let it go and don’t challenge them to act better and the cycle never gets broken.

In closing, I think each person should be treated on a case by case basis. Making broad or sweeping statements about a gender, a race, a religion, or whatever is narrow minded and wrong. All men are not bad just as all women are not bad. We share so much in common, yet we always seem to focus on the differences. Yes, we have and will continue to come across assholes. It’s about learning the warning signs of these people and steering clear of them.

Sugar In The Morning, Sugar In The Evening......

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Sesame Street

Sesame Street has been an American institution for the past 31 years or so. All of us have watched it, enjoyed it, and learned from it while growing up. Even today, the parents that grew up on Sesame Street are now watching it with their children. What amazes me the most about Sesame Street are the characters on the show and their purpose.


One Fucked Up Bunch 


For instance, what purpose does Oscar the Grouch serve? He sits in a garbage can heckling people, bitching about his miserable life, and just being as negative as one can be. Is this little green fucker really necessary? I mean come on, it's been 31 years, put this fucker out for the trash already and put him out of his fuckin' misery. I'd love to see him crushed in that compactor with his can.

Then there is Snuffleupagus, he is definitely on the pipe. He mopes around, slurring his speech, and talking like a a crackhead. What is he, an elephant, a mammoth? He needs to fuckin OD already and die. He is useless and will end up on welfare collecting off my hard earned tax dollars..

Grover was the first recorded case of ADD and the first Ritalyn recipient. He was always hyper and yelling and jumping around. He is just a fuckin' moron with an IQ of about 20. What does he teach kids, how to be a fuckin' idiot?

Ernie and Bert are homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that) and we all know it. Yes, they haved separate beds, but somehow they always end up in the same bed. They haung out in the tub together quite often as well. That isn't the rubber ducky Ernie is always reaching for.

Big Bird, what is his story? He is a whiney ass bitch too. He serves no purpose but to be the street's drama queen. He is in everyone's business causing all kinds of problems. He is like an old fuckin' washwoman. All he needs are the rollers in his fuckin' feathers. He is a bitch.

Then there is cookie monster. A blue blob of crap that eats cookies and growls. Recently they put his ass on Weight Watchers and told that fucker he can't be eating cookies all the time.

It's amazing we learned from this crew. I suppose there's a Bert, Ernie, Cookie, Oscar, Grover, Snuffleupagus, and Big Bird represented in all of our lives.

Should You Mourn?

Have any of you ever been really sad or devastated by the death of a famous person or celebrity? Is that normal? I once worked with a guy who took an entire week off when Jerry Garcia passed away. Is that extreme, or can an artist, politician, or celebrity really make that much of an impact on one's life? I would be really sad if Springsteen or Billy Joel passed because their music has touched me so much. Here are the celebrities that have passed that I was most saddened by:

Jackie Gleason
John Candy
Chris Farley
Frank Sinatra
John Kennedy Jr.
John Lennon
George Harrison
Barry White
Mickey Mantle
Joe DiMaggio

What famous person's death affected you most? What famous person's death in the future would affect you the most?

C-Mac's Refrigerator/Expiration Date Policy

Expiration dates....now there's a topic I am obsessed with. Some people pay little or no attention to expiration dates on food, but I have an obsessive and strict refrigerator and food expiration policy. It is as follows:

*Cold Cuts: Only good for 2 days after purchase, then they get tossed.
*Milk: Milk gets tossed three days before the expiration date posted on carton.
*Leftovers: Only good for a maximum of 36-48 hours after cooking the food.
*Eggs: I don't eat them within 3 days before the expiration date posted on carton.
*Cream Cheese/Butter/Cheeses: Gets discarded 7 days before date posted.
*Salad Dressings/Mayonaise: Gets tossed 3 weeks-1 month before posted date.
*Orange Juice: Gets tossed 4-7 days before posted date.
*Potato Chips/Snacks: I'll eat up until about 3 days before expiration.
*Soda: I'll drink up until about a week before the posted date.
*Meat: I will only eat it up to 2 days after purchase if it's not frozen.


Toss That Shit Out! 

I NEVER reheat anything more than once. I am kind of obsessed about getting groceries into the refrigerator and freezer in a hurry after food shopping. If I cook something and want to save any leftovers, I NEVER let it sit out at room temperature for more than like 15 minutes.

Many times I'll buy and use fresh stuff even though I already have it at home and it is well within the expiration date windows I have set. It's kind of a compulsion. At any given time I can have 4 or 5 of the same salad dressings open in the fridge because I hate eating things that are already open. I always want a fresh bottle. I do the same with cream cheese, sour cream, milk, and other dairy products. I always want "new", not one that's already open. Pretty bad huh?

I was once at a girlfriend's house back in 2003 having dinner with her, her twin sister, her sister's boyfriend and some of her family members. They put out salad dressing that had a 09/01/01 expiration date on it. The sister's boyfriend was reaching for it and I was trying to signal him without everyone catching on. I couldn't get his attention, he along with a bunch of others ate it, I was so grossed out!!!! I am always looking at expiration dates.

What's your expiration date policy?

The "Family Feast"

One of my favorite stories is the tale of the "Family Feast." Whenever I see one of my friends, I make him tell the story. He gets annoyed at times, but I laugh so hard each time he tells this story.

My friend was a pizza delivery boy in high school. The pizza place where he worked had a daily special called a "Family Feast." This feast included one large pizza, 12 garlic knots, a meatball parmasean hero, a 2-liter coke, 2 cannolis, and a salad for like $20.00.


Where's My SALAD???????!!!!! 

One day he was summoned to a house for a delivery of a Family Feast. He arrived at the house with the food and rang the doorbell. A few seconds later this 400lb woman answers the door and greets him. She thanks him and pays him for the food. He drives away, headed back to the restaurant. As he pulled down the block, he looked down on the passenger's seat of his car and realized he forgot to give the woman the salad. He drove back to her house and rang the bell to give her the salad. He rang it and rang it and nobody answered. He couldn't figure out where these people were. He knew they had to be home because he was just there. He walked to the side of the house and looked through the window to see if he could locate the people and get their attention. As he looked in, he saw the woman that answered the door in a recliner, with the food spread out all over the coffee table in front of her. She was all alone eating this family feast. She was in a recliner, with her head cocked back, holding the hero with two hands, licking the cheese off the meatball parmasean hero. He said he knocked on the window but she was like in a trance and didn't hear him. He finally got her attention after 10 minutes of yelling and knocking. He then went back to the front of the house to meet her to give her the salad. She came to the door with sauce all over her face and said, "Gee, I was wondering where the salad was" and thanked him for coming back. He was stunned that she was eating all this food by herself and drove back to the restaurant in disbelief......a classic indeed.

Christmas In July

It's been brutally hot here in NY the last week or so. I enjoy the heat so I'll never complain about it. Some people are already looking forward to Christmas and the holidays, I sure am not. But, two years ago, I had a little Christmas celebration in July:

Back in 2003 the house next door to where I lived was demolished to the ground and rebuilt. This process took more than a year. During that year it was an around the clock construction HELL. Town ordinance stated the workers could only work between 9am and 6pm, yet they would start at about 6:30 every morning, and yes, on weekends too. It was a nightmare. Jackhammering, hammering wood, yelling, all kinds of machinery, it was unbearable. One particular morning at 7:00, my doorbell rang. I woke from bed and answered the door, it was one of the construction workers who said, "The cement trucks are coming to pour today, so unless you want concrete on your car, I suggest you move it out of your driveway." Nice and polite huh? I moved the car and as I walked up the driveway to go back in the house, the 6 months of hell (to that point) finally caught up with me. I started yelling at the foreman about his rudeness and that of his crew. He said, "Shut up or I'll make your life even more miserable." I said, "I'll make your lives a living hell." He was like, "How are you going to do that?" I said nothing and went in the house. From the window, I heard the workers laughing and talking saying "What can he do to us???" Keep in mind this was a 90 degree July day.


Don't Fuck With Us!!!!!!!!!! 


I proceeded to put stereo speakers I had in my room (which faced the construction zone) in the window. I then loaded a Christmas CD in the CD changer. I programmed it to repeat the "Hula Hoop" song by the Chipmunks over and over. I then cranked the volume up on the stereo to the max, shut the door, left my room and went about my day. I watched the workers' reaction from the kitchen window, at first they seemed amused and were laughing. After about an hour of the same song, less laughs, after three hours NO laughs. That song played for 9 straight hours at top volume. Needless to say, the workers never bothered me again..........those fuckers must have heard Alvin and the crew in their sleep for days.

The Cleaning Lady

My friend Rich has the best stories ever. I love his story about "The Cleaning Lady". Just a warning, this story is a little gross. Here we go:

Rich has a friend named Steve who works in an office here on Long Island. One night Steve was working late and everyone had left the building. It was a very cold December night and he was finishing up his work at his desk and preparing to go home. It was then that the cleaning lady arrived to do her nightly cleaning. She was a heavyset older woman in her 40's, not very attractive, but Steve was horny and had not gotten any in a while. So Steve started chatting it up with the cleaning lady, flirting, and having a grand ol' time. Before he knew it, the cleaning lady and Steve were naked and fooling around in Steve's cubicle.


You Need Finger Cleaned? 

As if fooling around weren't enough, this encounter led to Steve having sex with the cleaning woman. For some odder reason, Steve felt the need to stick his finger in the cleaning lady's ass while they were having sex. After the sexual encounter was over, Steve felt a bit weird, so he grabbed his clothes, got dressed, and ran to his car to flee the scene. Steve had about a 40 minute car ride home. About 10 minutes into the commute Steve smelled something funny. It smelled like dog shit. Steve proceeds to pull over on the side of the road to look at the bottom of his shoes, perhaps he stepped in dog shit in the parking lot at work. He checks his shoes, nothing on them. He can't figure out why his car smells like shit. It was then it dawned on him that the smell was coming from his hand, his right hand, his index finger. He realizes this was from the finger in the cleaning lady's ass and rolls down the car window in 20 degree weather, holds his right arm across his body so that his right hand could stay out the window the whole ride home. I suppose his face looked something like this when he realized it was his finger: (amazing what pics you can find on the internet)


My Finger Stinks!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Lesson here:

If you are going to bang the cleaning lady, wash up before you head home.

C-Mac Classic Phone Scam "Don't Answer the Phone"

As some of you know from previous posts, I was the master of the phone scam back in the day. I posted a few of my classic call schemes back about a month or so ago, here's another classic. A couple of you have heard this one already, for those of you who have not, enjoy!!


A Classic Indeed! 

I would get someone's name and address out of the phone book, call them, and ask for them by name. When they would come on the line I would tell them I was "Tony DeLorenzo from Bell Atlantic (now Verizon)" I would call them about 9Pm and tell them we were going to be doing some very high powered testing on the phone lines in their neighborhood between 10PM and Midnight. I would go on to tell them that if the phone rings in that two hour time frame DO NOT answer the phone because the person calling you would receive a EXTREMELY bad shock due to the voltage running through the lines. They would thank me for letting them know and promise not to answer the phone during those times. I would wait until about 10:15PM (in the time frame they were not supposed to answer the phone) and then call them. They would either forget or they were just curious to see what would happen. When they would answer I would Scream AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! like I was being electrocuted. You would hear them panic and go "Oh my God" and hurry to hang up the phone.......very funny to hear......people will believe anything!!!!

Things I Could Never Ever Get Used To Or Get Into

Have you noticed that people seem to get used to almost anything? Gas is closing in on $3.00 a gallon, yet people just keep buying SUV's and nobody seems to really give a shit. People just get used to or immune to certain things in their environment. Here are some things I could never get used to or get into. As always, I welcome your input!

Being kicked in the balls.
Watching "Dancing With the Stars"
Not jerking off.
Watching the Red Sox win championships.
Having gay sex with the Sugar v.
Banging Roseann Barr.
People talking about their hemorrhoids.
The smell of someone's body odor.
A woman who doesn't shave or trim her ______.
President George W. Bush's Policies.
Being incarcerated in the Oz prison.
Having a small dick.
Country Music/Line Dancing.
Doing the Macarena.
Observing a legless Ethiopian watch a donut roll down a hill.
Fat people on nude beaches.
Men in speedos.
Fat chicks in belly shirts.

Let's hear yours!!!!

Artificial Flavors

Just a quick point about artificial flavors. When eating candy, lemon tastes like real lemon for the most part, orange like real orange, lime close to real lime, pineapple like real pineapple, strawberry is pretty close, but where do they get this grape flavoring from? Grape ices, candy, or anything artificial grape tastes nothing like a grape. Watermelon is way off too. Grapes are a strange fruit. You have grape juice and wine from grapes, but no grape pie. You can make a pie from almost any other fruit but grapes. I wonder why there is no grape pie.

I Need A "Buffer Zone"

As you all know from my previous posts, I hate public restrooms. I retreat to a stall to pee, as I hate urinals and the lack of pee privacy involved with those. As far as going #2, unless it is an EXTREME emergency, I will only go in my own house. Which brings me to today's topic, taking a crap in other people's homes.

When it comes to dating, I will only go to the bathroom (#2) at a girl's house/apartment if we've been dating a long time and there is a comfort level there. I've had several 2+ year relationships and was comfortable enough to take care of business at their house if I really had to.

Then there are the girls I have just dated a few times, ones that I don't know all that well. Under NO circumstance would I go at their house. This brings me to a story that took place a while back. I was dating this girl, we'll call her "Lisa" for blog's sake. Lisa and I went out on a few dates and got along really well. I guess we had hung out about 8 times or so, as far as "hooking up" we had only fooled around a bit, no sex as of yet. One Saturday Night, Lisa invited me over to her condo and we went out to dinner. Over dinner we discussed me staying over her place and I was all set to stay over. It was apparent that "something" would take place that night. After dinner, we went back to her place and we started drinking and hanging out in her living room. We were having fun, good conversation, laughs, and the chemistry was amazing. About 12:30am, I started getting the sharpest pains in my stomach, like someone was stabbing at me with a knife. I started getting like chills and stuff. So, I went in the bathroom, hoping it might just be gas. There's a point when you cna tell it's not gas. I knew there was NO way I was going to use the bathroom there! So, I went back out to the living room and tried to cover up the fact that i was in pain. She then said, let's go inside (her room) to watch a movie and hang out. The bedroom was right next to the bathroom, sort of like this:


Too Close for Comfort!!!!!!! 

As I relaxed on her bed, the pain came on like 100x stronger. So, I went in the bathroom again, hoping maybe, just maybe it was gas. Nope, I knew it wasn't gas. My stomach was making all kinds of noises. I realized that I must have gotten food poisoning at dinner or something. I had a dilemma here. Normally my stomach is like iron, nothing ever really bothers it at all, so this was weird.

If I went to the bathroom, there wasn't a buffer zone big enough for me to be comfortable. Also, I am strange, but after I go #2, I like a shower. I am weird like that. How would I explain the sudden urge for a shower? So, I went back to her room and explained that I was in pain. She felt bad and said maybe it would subside. It just got worse. I knew I was going to have to head home. I explained to her that i was going to go home and she looked like a deer caught in the headlights, she was shocked that I was abruptly ending the night. I said my quick goodbye, grabbed my stuff and bolted. Well, I think I broke every land speed record ever set on planet earth. I drove 17 miles in about 11 minutes, praying to God that I would never ever do anything bad as long as I lived if he got me home. Well, I made it home, accident free and thanked the good Lord. I called Lisa the next day apologizing for leaving abruptly but I think she thought that I bailed because I was not interested in her. It was a really tough situation.

What would you have done? Have any of you ever been in a similar situation?

The "Fun" House

Recently I've written some stories about some of the wacky stuff that I experienced growing up. I wrote about the bees running our house, the oatmeal cookie survival kit during Hurricane Gloria in 1985, and my mom using a butter knife as a household tool. In addition to all these wacky things, my house growing up was a breeding ground for practical jokes. My mom has a wacky sense of humor, I suppose that's where I get it from. My brother has a sense of humor, but really didn't like some of the practical jokes played in the house. My sister would get pissed off and my dad, he stayed out of the fray. So basically it was my mom and I playing all these extreme practical jokes on one another. I'd like to share a couple of them with all of you.

When I was about 17, shortly after I got my driver's license, I was out one night at my girlfriend's house. I arrived home about 11pm to a dark house. My parents usually went to sleep early because they woke up very early for work and my brother was already asleep. As I walked down the hallway to my bedroom, I heard a muffled laugh coming from my parent's room. I just thought to myself, she is crazy as usual. My parent's room was right across the hall from mine. As I opened my door and turned on the light, I noticed something was missing, something very noticeable, my bed. While I was out, my mom took my bed apart and hid it. Yup, that's right, mattress, box spring, frame, headboard, the whole fuckin' bed was gone. She went so far as to hide each piece of the bed in a different room or spot. The mattress in the garage, the frame in the den, etc. So basically Ii had to perform a scavenger hunt to find my bed and assemble it before I could sleep. As I was assembling the bed, I was thinking of a joke to play on her to get her back, then it hit me. I knew I'd have to wait at least a week, because she'd be expecting something.

About a week went by and I put my plan into action. I found an old blow-up skeleton decoration that we had in the garage that my mom used to hang outside on Halloween. It kinda looked like this:


Time For Work!!!!!!! 

I knew that she parked her car in the garage at night and that she left the house about 5am when it was still dark out. So, I placed the skeleton in her driver's seat, complete with a baseball cap, a jacket, one of my mom's cigarettes in its hand, one hand on the steering wheel, etc. I tried to make it look as human as possible so that when she turned the garage light on in the morning she would think someone was in her car. Sure enough, she got up the next morning, went downstairs and turned on the garage light. All we heard was an "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" and she came running up the steps thinking someone was in her car. Payback is a bitch!!!!!

I have so many other jokes to speak of, but I'll save them for another day!!!! This was just a typical day in my house growing up!

"Bored at the Beach" Interviews

Last Friday I posted an interview with Marie over at the Scorpio blogsite. It was a great chat with Marie and we all got the chance to get to know her a little better. For those who still have not read it, check out the Beach Blanket Interview With Scorpio post, you'll be glad you did. I actually received a couple of very nice e-mails from "Bored at the Beach" readers complimenting the interview. Thank you so much. Marie had some really great answers and made the interview a success. I've decided to make these interviews a weekly feature here on my site. Fridays will feature my normal random Friday posting along with an interview of a fellow blogger. This week The Sugar V will be interviewed. Be sure to check it out this Friday, I am sure it will be a riot!

I will be contacting one of you weekly to ask you to take part in my interviews here at "Bored at the Beach". We all look forward to getting to know each of you a bit better by sharing these interviews. Thanks!

Urine Gone

During my weekend of relaxation, I was flipping through the channels and stumbled upon one of those infomercials. This particular one was unlike any I have ever seen before. It was for "URINE GONE", a household urine remover. I hadn't laughed that hard in ages.


Honey, I found more piss!!!! 

How much urine is around someone's home that they need not only a specific cleaner for urnine, but a cleaner that comes with a fuckin' ultraviolet light to seek out urine? I was fuckin' howling watching this commercial. They showed people using this "light" and finding urine stains on mattresses and odd places. If someone pisses in my bed, the mattress goes out WITH them. The funniest part of the whole commercial is when they said "Order now, and we'll throw in an additional bottle of Urine Gone absolutely free", as if a gallon of piss cleaner wasn't enough. I can picture people living in puddles of urine, running to their pee stained phones to make that call.

What's next "Feces Gone"???? Sad part is, the fucker that came up with this idea is making millions and I am a poor bastard. I need to come up with something wacky like this. How about "Vomit Gone" or "Puss Gone" hahahaha, what's even more fucked up is that people will buy anything!

Don't forget, my blogging buddies, to vote for "Bored at the Beach" today by clicking on the brown "Top Blog" icon to the left. Each Monday starts new voting! I appreciate everyone's support! :)

Lazy Weekend

I should not complain about this weekend's weather since we had a string of about 7 consecutive beautiful weekends, but I will anyway. This weekend's weather sucked!!! Cloudy, stormy, rainy, and so humid!!!! All I really did all weekend was go running twice (total of 11 miles), watch the Yankees beat up on the Red Sox, take nap after nap, and lounge around. Honestly it was a blessing in disguise. After July 4th weekend, then my birthday weekend, a weekend of rest was definitely warranted. I will be away next weekend partying it up, so I suppose my body needed it. Even Bruce got in on the napping/resting action:


Dude, I'm shot! 

He napped a great deal this weekend too. What is it with dogs and sleep? They look like they are in a deep sleep, but the minute you move or make a noise they wake up:


I See You! 

He's a trip. So, I am back at work on this foggy, muggy, and overcast Monday. I anticipate a crazy day today because our in house system was down on Thursday/Friday for upgrades. I am sure there is a ton of work in the pipeline today....I'll try not to go postal. Which brings me to today's topic, jobs that would make me go postal. People associate crazy, disgruntled workers with the Post Office, hence the term "Postal", but I can think of a few jobs that would make me snap well before a post office job would, here they are.

Janitor at a $20 a night motel. Could you imagine what you'd be cleaning up daily? I'd snap after the 2nd room.

Assembly line worker at a factory. I'd snap in about an hour from the doing the same fuckin' thing over and over.

Garbage Man. With the heat and humidity in summer and the frigid cold in winter combined with the smelly garbage, I'd last about a day before I snapped.

Fast Food drive up window worker. After the 3rd or 4th fat fuck complained about not enough ketchup or salt, I'd ask the fat fuck if they really NEEDED the $20 worth of fast food they are about to swallow. I would not last very long.

Envelope stuffer. Imagine stuffing envelopes all day with mailings for a company? Between the repetition and the paper cuts, I'd snap in about 30 minutes.

What jobs would make you snap the quickest???? hahaha

Don't forget, my blogging buddies, to vote for "Bored at the Beach" today by clicking on the brown "Top Blog" icon to the left. Each Monday starts new voting! I appreciate everyone's support! :)