On Saturday I saw a friend that I had not seen since last July. We got to talking about life and what’s been happening the past 8 months or so. It was nice to catch up and talk to them. This friend said something to me that was very touching, something I did not really realize. This friend told me that one night last May when we hung out at my house and drank and chatted all night that they were going through a difficult family situation/event the next day that was making them very emotional and anxious. This person told me this past Saturday that hanging out with me that night in May meant a lot to them and that it made the family situation much easier to deal with the next day. They mentioned that chatting and hanging out that night was something they remembered and something that meant a lot to them. I was very very touched that someone could say that merely talking to me made such an impact on them. It’s funny how just being kind and genuine to someone can go so far. It made me feel good because just what they mentioned is something that I think means more to me than anything, making a difference in the lives of people around me.
This comment got me thinking even more on Sunday. I wondered how a simple night of talking and making someone forget their problems could be cherished by someone, yet there are people in life that we struggle to please, that we give everything to, that we go all out for, and get no real reaction from them or no genuine appreciation. I just don’t get it. There have been a couple of people in recent memory that I have given so much to, and have really struggled to make happy. You all know what I am saying because I am sure you’ve all been in similar situations. The person, no matter how much you give, how much you care, how much time and energy you put in to help them, make a difference in their life, love them, they are not responsive or they are unmoved by it. I had similar experiences when I managed a few businesses. Say you had 50 employees, I’d say 48 of them appreciated the extras you did for them, the bonuses, the lunches, letting them go home early, all kinds of stuff that even go beyond the realm of being their manager like talking to them when they were in need, etc. Then there were the one or two that no matter what you did for them or how much you tried, they just had their own agenda and were not moved or affected at all by your efforts. Almost as if it was expected or owed to them.
I guess the moral of the story is to just be yourself. Go about your day doing your best to make the people in your life feel important and good. The rest will fall into place. When you come across the people who are unresponsive to it, don’t let it change you or your approach to life. Also, when someone makes an impact or does something that makes a difference to you, let them know. Just do things for people because you want to, not because you want a pat on the back or you are looking for something in return, because most of the time, you won’t get much in return, but I think the giving feels much better anyway.
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6 comments:
You got it Sista!
So true! Though many times I wonder why it is those who don't appreciate it that make me want to work harder and put in more effort...
I hear you all the way. I have 2 friends like that too. They are always upset and pissed off about something. It's like when I talk to them especially one of them, it's like only what's going on in their life matters. Both of them created their own situations and they call me expecting to make them feel better. Why don't they think I have issues as well?Maybe because I don't dwell on things.
One of them has a good job and pays the cheapest rent 700.00/month
The other is on disability which pays her 650.00 rent and her boyfriend works and pays the rest of the bills. But because we have a house and am married my life is just soooo full and I have nothing to complain about. Hello? Do you people have a clue how fortunate you are that when something goes wrong you call the landlord? I am my own landlord. Why is that you are so depressed about things? What more do you want? My one friend wants me to help her wallpaper her bathroom. Ask your landlord, I'm busy being my own landlord. Sorry! The other one wants me to spend all my free time with her because she has no other friends(maybe because you're a pain in the ass) I'm busy too. Get busy and find something to do. Put yourself out there. I'm not your personal savior.I've always helped these 2 and I'm tired of always being asked a favor. When does it end? You are grown women. It's time to grow up!
Bravo! Blog well done.
I had to tell you this. Today I am working and my one friend that lives behind me called me(I work from home) most of the time.She calls from her cell phone and leaves this message. "Later after work if your not busy can you run me up to the grocery store my back is out. I look out my window and her car is not there. An hour later still not home. So I call her on her cell phone and ask where she is. She said I decided to go myself because I'm having friends over for dinner and I needed to get stuff, but when I get home can I call you to help me carry it in? I say okay. She calls back but I'm on the other phone and I call her back and say I'll be right over and she said she carried it in already but later on if Lisa(her friend)doesn't come over early enough can I run her up to the auto store so she can get oil? IT NEVER ENDS WITH THIS ONE. So I said you have to let me know because I am baking cupcakes tonite and I need to know before I start. So she calls me back and leaves this message "nevermind I'll have Alex(her boyfriend pick it up)Have fun making your cupcakes.
What do you make of that?
For as long as I've known you, you've always put others first. It is an admirable quality. I know back a few years ago how much you meant to Joycey and how you changed her life. As a friend in that inner circle, I saw everything you did for her and for the people around you. I hope you'll find someone someday soon that does the same for you Mac. I know you've had a rough go of it this past winter but don't let anyone or anything get you down and don't change for anyone! Give only to those who deserve it!
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