There are people out there that still want to “high five” you when they are happy or you do something good! Didn’t the “high five” go out back in the days of “the wave” at baseball stadiums? Most people that want to “slap you five” here in 2005 are really out of touch with what’s going on. These are usually office nerds that want to high five you for driving in a couple of runs in a softball game at the company picnic. The sight of a “high five” or anyone doing it really bothers me.
What also bothers me is the need to pat another man on his ass during a major league baseball game. Why touch the dude’s ass? The back will have the same effect. The manager slowly trots to the mound, talks to his starting pitcher, then decides to take him out. He signals for the bullpen, takes the ball from the pitcher and then proceeds to slap his ass as he exits. WHY???? Is there something I am missing here? I’d be filing a sexual harassment suit against Joe Torre!
Now that the high five is out, baseball players have these elaborate handshakes that you need a choreographer to design and teach you. A guy hits a home run and it’s a 45 second handshake per teammate. It really is funny to watch. Maybe the Steroid Brothers, Canseco and McGwire were onto something with that forearm bash back in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s! Quick, simple, and pretty fun to watch. I say let’s lose the 45 second handshake, the ass patting, and erase the high five from our minds forever and bring back the forearm bash!
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3 comments:
Those crazy handshakes are almost as funny as the C-Mac dance moves like the lawnmower, the hedge cutters, and the shopping cart. All clasics for sure!
I notice just the slight punching of fist to fist is pretty popular in baseball too.
One more week until Yankee opening day Mac!
When I hear "high five", I now automatically think of David Puddy from Seinfeld. Ah, the show may be over but the impact still lingers...
I am a guitly high-fiver. I know I'm a prude.
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