Emergency "Drills"

I have to laugh sometimes at these drills places make you go through in case of fire and other emergencies. In "real" situations people always forget the shit they learn and never do what they do in a drill. Some people panic, some people are carefree, other have their own agendas, some act like Costanza and trample the women and children in front of them. I really think you don't know how you'd act in an "emergency" until you are faced with one. Like being robbed for instance, they train you in business what to do when you are being robbed. Things are VERY different when you have that gun pointed in your face. People always play Monday morning QB and say "Oh, I would have done this or that if that were me."

Remember those "Civil Defense Drills" back in school. You lined up in the hallway against the walls with your hands over your heads or they made you go under the desks. This was a "Cold War" thing. Yeah like that $30.00 desk was going to protect you from a nuclear blast. That always cracked me up, even as a kid. I was always like, just tell me when to bend over and kiss my white ass goodbye.

Whenever there was a slight threat of a hurricane hitting us here on Long Island, my dysfunctional family's emergency plan was to cook/eat everything in the freezer before the storm hit in case the power goes out. You'd be eating frozen pizza, licking an ice cream cone, cooking meat, all at the same time, just so the food would not go bad "in case" the storm hit or the power went out. It always sucked when the storm blew out to sea and you just finished eating the entire fuckin' freezer. One time a category 3 hurricane hit in 1985, it was pretty bad. But we were prepared....my mom made us sit in a cobweb filled dusty basement on a picnic table, listening to a fuckin' AM transistor radio....and we brought down emergency supplies, a gallon of water and a box of fuckin' oatmeal cookies. That's a true story unfortunately. Nothing like storm preparation!