We all have a moment, or two, or three in our lives that were so embarrassing that you can't forget them. I was thinking about some of my most embarrassing moments. Here are my top 3:
3) 1988 or so, I was walking in the mall with my friends and I was talking and not paying attention and I walked into one of the columns (pillars) that hold up the roof to the mall and fell flat on my back. It was during the Christmas season, so it was packed and about 100 people saw it and laughed their asses off.
2) I was about 20 and I already had my own place for about a year. I met this girl that was totally hot and I asked her out. We went on a date and everything was great. We agreed to hang out again and I decided to have her over my apartment for dinner. I cooked a great meal, bought wine, flowers, the whole nine yards and couldn't wait for her to come over. When she got there we ate dinner which turned out great. Then we decided we wanted some of the wine. I looked and looked and could not find my corkscrew anywhere. So she was like, try opening it with a knife or something. Here I am, playing nice music, all cozy, romantic mood going and I have to figure out how to open this fuckin' bottle of red wine. So I plunged a steak knife into the cork...the cork pushed into the bottle of wine and it exploded all over me, the ceiling, the walls. This girl was hysterical laughing. I had to laugh too, but I was humiliated. We forgot about the wine..I cleaned myself up and we had a great night anyway. I ended up dating her for two years, so I guess she thought I wasn't too much of an ass. But, you talk about being embarrassed and a mood killer.
1) I was at High School baseball practice. I was playing centerfield and running down fly balls all afternoon. There were three really hot girls sitting in the centerfield bleachers, so I was showing off a bit. One of my friends on the team hit a long home run over the fence in left center, so I had to climb the fence and get it. When I went to climb the fence all "casually and cool" the top of my baseball pants got caught on the fence and it pulled my pants halfway down and I was hanging on the fence by my pants basically in my underwear. The girls were laughing so hard at me as well as my entire team. My friend playing left field finally came over and got me loose from the fence. That one took the cake! I'd love to hear some of yours!
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4 comments:
Heheheh...that was funny. I like that a lot. At least you weren’t caught with your finger in an inappropriate orifice like that guy in the office next to my cubicle with the "sports paraphernalia."
sounds similar to the guy outside my office who goes through a bottle of Nivea Lotion a week. He claims he has dry skin...but we know the deal!
I was nine or ten years old, shopping with my mom at Pathmark. She asked me to pick up a box of spaghetti from the display at the end of one aisle -- which was also at the very front of the store near the registers. Someone had rigged it so that when the box was picked up, all the strands of uncooked spaghetti would come out the end. It may these whooshing noise, and EVERYONE turned to look. When you are an insecure 10-year-old, the last thing you want is a bunch of strangers gawking at you. I was horrified. And, yes, to this day, I grip the box tightly around the middle when taking it off the grocer's shelf.
I remember my husband and I were invited to a birthday party for our friend's son Steven(named after his dad)Also his brother in law who was our next door neighbor is also named Steven. So when Paul(my husband said we are invited to Steven's birthday party)I assumed the son Steven and when out and bought him a toy truck. When I came home with it Paul said"Not little Steven big Steven" Okay then on the way to the party we picked up a bottle of wine for him because it is now 7:30pm. We get the wine get to the party and I hand Big Steven the bottle and the card. When he replies "It's not my birthday it's Steven's birthday(meaning his brother in law)Now who's fault was this? Mine or Paul's. Anyway at least I was able to use the same card.
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