In light of recent events in Toronto with the plane crash and other wacky things in the news, I got to thinking of things that terrify people. Most people list a plane crash, spiders, heights, snakes, elevators, terrorism, and things along those lines as things they are most afraid of. Here is my list of things that terrify me:
*Getting my next electric bill after running the a/c continuously for the past month
*Running out of propane while I am hosting a huge bbq
*The alcohol-free section of any ballpark
*Fanatical "religious" people
*Dick Cheney becoming our next President
*The Kool-Aid pitcher busting down the walls of my house saying "Oh yeeeeeah"
*Those "sporks" at Taco Bell
*Waking up with a severe hangover, in a strange bed, looking over and seeing The Sugar V naked, eating a sausage
*The Red Sox winning another World Series
*Public bathrooms
*Girls who say "I am not used to being treated so well" (run like hell!!!!)
*A Spice Girls reunion
*Being gang-banged by the Keebler elves
*Dying while jerking off and having to have my mom come and identify my body at the scene.
*Having a trans-sexual kick my ass in a bar fight
What things scare you?
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25 comments:
My husband coming to me and telling me he wants to be a woman.
The fact that only the old, fat women have to change in the dressing room at the gym. Do we really need to see wrinkles other than those on your face?
LMAO. You're such a dumbass. Where do you come up with this stuff?
I'm scared of fire. I have a huge phobia and will not even go anywhere near lighters or matches cause I'm terrified of getting burned. Long story.
Waking up next to SugarV eating a sausage would scare me too. LOL.
Hahahahaha!! Hilarious and very creative list you have here. But what about the bees?? :)
: Pat O'Reilley showing up at my doorstep wanting to bang.
: My sister's cooking
: Ditto on Dick Cheney becoming our next President. ;)
Sorry, I meant to say "Bill O'Reilley". hehehehe
waking up next to The Kool-aid guy and him saying "OH YEAH!"
running out of Vodka
never being able to sing again.
Har! Quite funny.
I'm afraid of choking to death while driving.
ps I met the guy who does that Kool-Aid voice-over. He lives nearby. He isn't shaped like that big pitcher, lucky for him.
* My boss finding my blog
* Not realizing what I've lost till it's gone
* watching hot sex and reaching for my cock only to find out I have "ghostlimb"
* Being a quaraplegic in a swimming pool filled with 10 year-old
* Drinking water but thinking it's coke (I always doble check now)
* Reading something I posted the night before but don't remember.
* Hitting the ground... I don't have a fear of falling.. it's the sudden stop that scares me.
errr.... quadraplegic... doh
Being forced into having hot sex with Vincent D'Onofrio.
Wait... that's my dream!
I guess then, learning that Vincent D'Onofrio prefers italian sausages!
Seriously, I'm afraid of fishes (though I love sushi and regularly eat fish, you won't see me enjoying swimming in the sea or in a lake).
Waking up to a woman who just lost 80 lbs & still has more to go and wants my sausage scares the crap out of me.
...LOL
I'm scared of the microwave oven being on and my testicles being too close to it
Charlie, you had me at "Dick Cheney." Although, what do you mean 'next'? We all know he's been running the country for 5 years now...
I've never heard of alcohol-free sections in ballparks. In God's name, why? It's unatural to watch baseball without beer.
I'm terrified of grates in the sidewalk. I will cross the street to avoid walking over one. Makes no sense, but there it is.
I read a newspaper article about some young family that moved into an apartment out west somewhere. Unbeknownst to them, the previous owner's four-and-a-half foot long python stayed behind and is living under their dishwasher. The dog eventually finds it. The family freaks out. Nobody is hurt.
I haven't been able to open or look under my diswasher since.
I maintain this answer over and over again..."Old Navy Commercials." Especially the Holiday ones....Eew.
A nuclear attack on American soil
I really only have an irrational fear of snakes...though a close second is drowning, if I wasn't knocked unconscious, as I am a really strong swimmer and pretty sure I could keep myself going for a long time before I got to the point where I couldn't swim/tread water any longer and just knowing that you tried and had to give up scares me.
hahaha...loved the dying after jerking off one...
Ditto on The Red Sox.
My biggest fear is that Ann Coulter will be the first woman president. Oh wait. She's a dude.
Squirells freak me out! People that have Squirell feeders in their back yard freak me out even more.
That's right...just invite the rodents into your yard!
XOXO
C
Ditto the Cheney for president thing. Scary.
Excuse my ignorance, but why run like hell when a woman says that about you treating her well? Is that a sign she's been abused and may be psychotic? I honestly don't get it. (So I'm stupid, alright??)
Other fears:
My son being shipped out to Iraq. (he's in the army)
My teenage daughter getting pregnant.
Dying alone.
Dying with some dumb ass I settled for because I was afraid of dying alone.
I just saw this and am still recovering. The fact that competitive eating is a sport, and that they air it on ESPN. The play by play is the best part.
· Roaches, Bees, SPIDERS, Mice all those nasty creatures
· Dying
· Dying and not seeing the ones I left behind from where ever I am and not meeting up with those I have lost especially my brother
· Creepy basements
· Heights
· Not reaching my goal as a singer
· Losing my talents
· Going out with my friends and the geekiest fucker coming up to me asking for my number (it always happens to meeeeeeeeeeee damn it me!)
· Losing my parents/family to death (I will be in a straight jacket)
· Not finding the cure to Cancer and Aids and everything out there that is killing us
· Losing my sixth sense
· Losing my cat
· My sight. I always had a fear of going blind
· Getting killed. I always see myself being killed, all full of blood scares the fucking day lights out of me
· Never finding true love
· My house on fire
· My memory (almost gone though)
· Fear itself
· Losing my mind, I still haven’t found it
· A cop seeing my bare ass while pissing behind a truck… oh wait that already happened
· Stupid people conquering the world… wait… never mind
I could go on and on and on and on……….
Big Mac you are fucking toooooo funny. Thought I would be a little serious with my comment on fears. Now why don't you blog about your true serious fears!?!
You are so FUNNY...that list became more and more hilarious as you added each one! (LMAO)
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