The Birthday Song

Can't you go anywhere to dine now without having to hear 15 waiters and waitresses sing their version of "Happy Birthday?" I was at a great Italian restaurant last night and they even had to sing their version of the douche bag birthday song there. It's annoying! I don't mind if it's for a small child who is being taken out by their parents or grandparents for their birthday, let the kid enjoy their day, you are only a kid once. I am talking about these people who are over 25 that somehow feel the need to be sung to by strangers for their birthday or their friends who feel the need to let the restaurant staff, and the world for that matter, know it's their buddy's birthday.


Shut Up Fuckos, I am trying to eat!!!!!! 

What makes me wonder the most is, who's writing the lyrics to all these wacky birthday song versions? Every restaurant seems to have their own now. In some places it's just vocals, in others it's poor vocals and lyrics combined with annoying clapping, maracas, and other small instruments or gadgets you really don't want to hear directly in your ear when you are trying to have a conversation with someone. Are the CEOs of some of these chains like Fridays giving out homework assignments to the staff to see who can come up with the most annoying song? Or is it some marketing genius in a boardroom somewhere that is completely out of touch with the world? Either way, it needs to stop! We need to take a united stand against the cheesy birthday parade and song at restaurants! The "original" birthday song sucks bad enough, we don't need 1,000 different versions and remixes.