Tip Me Fucko!!!
Most of the customers on the route were appreciative and tipped me at the end of each week. Then you had the cheap fucks that thought I did that shit for charity and wouldn't buck up even 50 cents at the end of each week. Keep in mind, we got no "salary", we worked exclusively off tips. When Christmas would come most people would toss you a $10 or a $20 and thank you for your good service all year and say something nice. Once again, you had the cheap fucks that wouldn't give you a nickel. So what I would do with my friends to these cheap people was this....after the Holidays when people threw their Christmas trees out for the garbage, me and my friends would round them up at night. We would then bring them to all the cheap people's homes, open their storm doors and lean the trees against their wood (interior) doors. When they opened their doors the next morning the tree would come crashing in their house and they never would know who did it. "Payback's" a BEEEEEOCH! I was a little bastard when people were mean to me!
10 comments:
OOOOooooooo the memories! I had my own huffy bike, but mine was pink with tassle handles! LOL
What a kid you were to get up and actually deliver papers. :) Never in my teenage years would I get out of bed before 10am except for when I wanted to watch Saturday morning cartoons.
I actually recall my dad tipping our paperboy a few bucks each time he came to collect the monies for the local paper. I didn't know you all worked for just tips though I thought the paper paid you a base salary.
I can't believe you didn't get paid. My brother had a paper route growing up and he got about $15 a week and then whatever tips he made. He still hated it, but damn, it must have really sucked for you.
I've been there, I know how it is. And I had to do mine in the mornings BEFORE school! I was a teenager I think though, because I remember saving all my money and later being able to use it for a trip to Acapulco in 10th grade I think it was.
You're a trip, remind me to stay on your good side ;)
I was a papergirl long ago. Did you get 800 boxes of chocolate covered cherries at Christmas?? Dear Abby must have said it's the perfect paperboy gift because my brother and I split a large route and got about 16 boxes between us. I still can't eat them, to this day!
Wow - does this bring back memories. I delivered Newsday when I was in 8th and 9th grade. I had it made, because it was an afternoon paper which I could deliver after school, and it wasn't published on Sundays.
I was really pissed off when Newsday decided to publish on Sunday mornings. Suddenly, I had to be up at 5 am to go to the Grand Union supermarket in Commack. There, I was given forty newspapers to deliver. (During the week, they were dropped at my house.) The huge edition strained the handlebars of my bike.
Men always tipped more; they had no idea what to pay me, so I always made out better. There were times that I would come back to a house later because I knew the mom was gone, and the dad was home. For Christmas, I would clear about $200.00 – that was a zillion dollars to me in 1970-71.
I didn’t get as crazy as you, but for those customers that didn't tip, they always got the papers that the bundling wire tore, were wet, or mysteriously had pages missing.
Thanks for bringing back a few memories.
Even though I do have the newspaper delivered, I never knew that the people that came around before daylight to my neighbors did not get paid.
That sucks!
Is it still that way to this day?
I can't believe a nice guy like you would do such a thing! :) Shame on you -- but TOO FUNNY! I just want to know -- do you do retaliate like that these days? ;)
I worked at a newspaper before I quit to stay home, and we always paid the delivery people. Although you are right, its all adults now.
I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time. I can't imagine trying to balance a bike and throw papers. It did remind me of that movie where at the beginning, the kid is throwing papers and throws himself off his bike... But now I'm pissed because I can't remember what movie that was.....
Wow...I'm totally off topic this morning. Sorry!
My brother had a paper route and when he broke his arm my friend and I did his route for 2 weeks. He had 60 papers. There was this one house(with a nice boat parked on the side)That the first week we collected they had no money so we collected the next week for the 2 weeks they owed and we got a .05 tip. Cheap mother eefers! Back then yo only worked for tips but now they get a salary plus tips.
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