BJ Included?

Here is my list of things that have gotten so expensive that a blowjob should be included with the transaction. (For you ladies, substitute whatever it is you like, perhaps a good licking in place of a blowjob)

* A fill up at the gas station. They should send some hot middle eastern chick from the back of the gas station to take care of business each time I fill up. My pants around my ankles while I am filling up the tank....not a bad idea. I like the whole public thing anyway.

* Crossing any bridge here in NY. Come on $9.00 to cross the Verrazano Bridge? Stick a hot chick in the toll plaza and give me my money's worth.

* Weekly food shopping. Four bags= $100.00? It's insanity. Forget calling for a bagger when the lines get long, call for a blower instead.

* Rent. My landlord's wife should be stopping by to pick up the check, forget this mailing bullshit. It will save me the postage and keep me out of trouble.

* Electric Bill. Long Island is the 2nd most expensive in the nation in regards to electric/energy bills. There should be a hole in the meter I could stick my dick in for monthly pleasure before mailing the check.

* Going to a sporting event. $8.00 for a hot dog? $9.00 for a beer? Let A-Rod's wife come sit under my seat for a few innings.

I won't dwell on the 2 bedroom shacks that cost $500,000 here on Long Island, that's a whole other blog for another day.

What are some things you pay for all the time that should come with some "pleasure"?

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