Most people don't have public microwave etiquette. Most people don't even know what public microwave etiquette is. Okay, well maybe I just made up the term, but there are simple rules to follow when using a microwave at work:
1) Keep your exotic seafood dishes at home. Nothing sickens me more than the office smelling like the boat from "The Perfect Storm."
2) Put a lid on it! Don't splatter up the microwave with your hamburger helper or whatever that is on your plate, put something over it!
3) Watch the cook times. Burnt popcorn is not a pleasant aroma for anyone fucko! The directions on the bag are simple even for a moron like you.
4) Keep it limited to ONE microwave. Don't be occupying several microwaves for side dishes and other bullshit. This isn't fuckin' Thanksgiving and grandma's.
5) Don't torment us with small time intervals, if something takes 3 minutes to cook, punch in 3:00. Not :30 six times making us look like Pavlov's dog running to the microwave thinking it's free everytime the buzzer goes off.
If you can't follow these rules, go out for lunch fucko...or bring cold cuts.
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12 comments:
lmao........that tuna casserole crap is especially nice the next day.
Hey Charlie, who's your interview tomorrow? I'm looking forward to the next installment. :)
My office is right next to the kitchen so I always get to smell what everyone is eating....all I can say is that the mixed smell of oatmeal, popcorn and scallops isn't too pleasant!
hahahah HELLO. THANK YOU. We all share the same microwave here at work and shit hits the ceiling of it and then when i heat up my stuff that same shit from someone elses dish falls from the ceiling into my dish!!! I am printing this out and hanging it up by the microwave.
ick! I hate when that happens. I say put up a sign next to some papertowels and some detergent that says"Please clean after using"
(so your leftover crap doesn't bake into what I'm heating up)
i learned the seafood rule the hardway... got yelled at by my boss!
OMG, that's SO true. Good list here, Charlie. In my previous company, i was about 10 feet from the open kitchen area near the cubicles and was subjected to the worst smells ever. I seriously needed to leave the area for a while when this one girl in particular would heat up her exotic dishes every day. Thankfully, I moved to another part of the building after a while.
AMEN, BROTHER!! Especially to the stinky part!!
I burnt popcorn before. It was only in for about 20 seconds and it was just one stupid kernal that decided to stick to the bag. The office stunk, but I ducked out and no one knew it was me. he he
same fucko (charlie that is the best word) that overcooks the popcorn, licks the yogurt off on the peel-off lid.....what the hell is that?....can't she afford another yogurt?.....is she that fucking hungry?......does she lick the ketchup lid too?........
Kate - I'm next!! Be prepared to be bored out of your skull. I suck at this!
I hate sharing a microwave. I hated that in college. I would always get pissed when I went to warm up my tea and someone had splattered God knows what all over the inside.
When I worked for Burger King, I worked on the same floor as the CEO, CFO, and anyone else that had an "O" in their title.
I went to make popcorn one day, and pressed the "5" button instead of the "Popcorn" button. It wasn't really funny at the time, but the fire sprinklers went off and soaked all of us. Boy, was I embarrassed.
Maybe that's why I left the corporate world - I didn't have the proper public microwave etiquette?
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