I really enjoy (sarcasm) calling customer service numbers for companies when I have a question or a problem with something. Isn’t it just a wonderful experience? First, you get a choice of hearing the “menu” in about 14 different languages. For English, press 1, for Spanish, press 2….it goes on and on, for Swahili press 14, for Ebonics press 16…….
Don't Put Me On Hold Again Fucko!
After selecting a language (which is a topic for another post) you then have about 15 layers of menus before you get a live person on the phone. Many times none of the menu choices describe your situation, so you have to wing it and pick something close. Some of these menu choices are ridiculous with ridiculous scenarios. “If your computer is on fire and you see smoke, press one now.” “If your computer is talking to you and you are scared, press two now.” It’s like, just get me a fuckin’ human being! When you finally get a human, it is a worker in India or Pakistan because all the service jobs are outsourced to those countries. They have no clue what you are talking about and the problem is seldom resolved without asking for a manager or supervisor.
The most bothersome thing for me while calling these numbers is the “on hold” music. Some of this music is totally insane. I’ve heard circus-like music, wacky Cajun music, classical, jazz, soft rock, etc. The thing that bothers me most is the “rock” music played in classical form. If you are going to play classical, play fuckin’ classical, not Van Halen on a fuckin’ piccolo! There’s nothing more annoying than hearing Aerosmith on a violin or a harp while I am already pissed off after 19 language choices and 15 layers of menus! Pick a genre of music and stick with it. You wouldn’t hear Metallica performing Beethoven would you? So don’t have fuckin’ Kenny G doing Motley Crue.
I also hate being “transferred” to someone else who can help me. You have to tell the same story to like 12 people before someone can help you. You start off with the full story with operator one, by operator number twelve, they are getting the “Cliff Notes” version of your story because you are tired of telling it. Sometimes you are in mid-sentence describing your problem and they just transfer you. They hear one key word, like “bill”….”oh, let me transfer you to our billing department.” Meanwhile you said I’m not paying the “bill” until you fix this technical problem…….wrong department asshole!
I avoid calling these “service” lines unless absolutely necessary!
Monday, August 08, 2005
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15 comments:
oh my favorite is the voice activation one. you know the ones where they ask you to talk instead of pressing a number. i hate those! it never gets it right :)
OMG! I had to read this to my boyfriend because it is sooo true! You hit the nail on the head! Let me guess were you calling about an HP computer because that is what it is like. :)
So glad you wrote about this, I am now at a point I will not even call places. I think that is their main motive, people hanging up instead of waiting.
Frustration is not what I need to add to other annoying things you are forced to deal with as far as the telephone is concerned. I could live without a phone! No problem and we have more than people living in our home.
I did the call center thing for a long time and I loved it... but I really hate calling these things. Oh and I agree with you, what's up with the people who can't speak english!?
Don't look at me. I can't even figure out how to work half the stuff my cell phone is supposed capable of doing.
I hate them too. Especially when they ask for your account number before someone actually gets on the phone and then when someone actually answers you have to give it to them ten more times. What's the freaking point of doing it the first time!!! LOL.
Is the Mr. Pu in the picture?
steph - That photo is not of me, I wish I were as handsome as that asian fellow.
I just hit the 0 button, it usually takes me to an Operator or if that doesn't work I won't hit anything. That always works, someone will come on thinking I have an old rotary phone.
Hi!
I just fell over your blog. It's really fun reading it! I think I'll come over more often now. ;)
I've made absolutely the same experiences with those "service" centers. I don't know what it's like in the US but in Germany you gotta pay up to 1,99 € per minute. So most of the time you're listening to this freakin' music and you know how much that'll cost you.
And they're still complaining that the callers just aren't friendly enough....maybe they should start thinking!
Oh and talking about the guys stitting in India or Pakistan: I called some German help line and thoe guy on the other side was talking to me from Ireland. That's EU understanding I guess....
I have to go with Justice on this one. The worst is getting off. My friend got a Dell laptop ad she couldn't understand the guy on the other end and he couldn't understand her. I would have packed up that bitch and sent it back registered mail with a nice little note attached.
What I love is when I know more about the item that needs the service than the person on the other end... I had this problem at work a few weeks ago and rather than transferring me to someone who could help me, he kept putting his hand on the receiver and asking the guy next to him...
I hate the organizations who even have a sense of humor and call them "Customer Care" people. Bite me, evil wenches!!
I just keep hitting the "0" button. Usually, that does the trick and I then get, "Sorry you're having trouble, please hold while we connect you to an agent." Bingo!
Having to call a service line is definitely terrible, no wonder the post above is about suicide :-)
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