Wacky Song

Ok, I think I have a nominee for the WORST love song of all time. I heard this song over the weekend, it's sung by the group Heart. It's called "All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You" and it was a top 10 hit in 1990. The title sounds good, but check out these lyrics, verse by verse, along with my sarcasm of course:

It was a rainy night when he came into sight,
standing by the road,
no umbrella, no coat.
So I pulled up alongside
and I offered him a ride.
He accepted with a smile,
so we drove for a while.
I didn't ask him his name,
this lonely boy in the rain.
Fate, tell me it's right,
is this love at first sight?
Please don't make it wrong,
just stay for the night.

Ok, so in verse one, this woman picks up a hitchhiker on a rainy night. A hitch hiker in the rain with no coat, that is. Like all hitch hikers, he was polite and appreciative. So, they just drove as she wondered if this was love at first sight........

All I wanna do is make love to you
Say you will
You want me too
All I wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to
So we found this hotel,
it was a place I knew well
We made magic that night.
Oh, he did everything right
He brought the woman out of me,
so many times, easily
And in the morning when he woke
all I left him was a note
I told him I am the flower you are the seed
We walked in the garden we planted a tree
Don't try to find me, please don't you dare
Just live in my memory, you'll always be there

Ok, so in verse two, they go to a seedy hotel, a place this very prim and proper woman knows very well. She bangs the hitch hiker all night. She then leaves him there with a note basically telling him she used him for his "seed" and for him never to look for her.

All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I wanna do is make love to you
I've got lovin' arms to hold on to
Oh, oooh, we made love
Love like strangers
All night long
We made love
Then it happened one day,
we came round the same way
You can imagine his surprise
when he saw his own eyes
I said please, please understand
I'm in love with another man
And what he couldn't give me
was the one little thing that you can
All I wanna do is make love to you
One night of love was all we knew
All I wanna do is make love to you
Say you will, you want me too

Ok, so nine months or so passes and she happens to run into this hitch hiker again(which is a common occurence) and he sees his eyes in her baby and realizes he knocked her up on that rainy night of hitch hiker/driver loving. Then she proceeds to tell the nice hitch hiker to understand that she's in love with another man and that because he shoots blanks, she felt the need to get knocked up by another man. (Ever hear of adoption????) I find this song so romantic. There really is nothing like a driver/hitch hiker bond. How does she explain to the man she's with who shoots blanks that she's pregnant? Hmmmmm....too much wacky stuff in this song for me. I can't believe this was a top 10 hit!