Just when you thought Greeting card writers were the absolute worst and cheesiest, come restaurant menu writers. Where do they come up with some of the nonsense in those food descriptions. I was at Applebee's on Wednesday Night for dinner and we were reading the dessert menu and just laughing. I actually stole the menu so I could comment on these:
Maple Butter Blondie: "Say hello to the eighth wonder of the world! Your blondie is baked with pecans and topped with a scoop of ice cream and chopped walnuts. Served warm and covered at your table, with rich, sizzling maple butter sauce. And you thought the pyramids were breathtaking." Now the real deal...I ordered this. Eighth wonder of the world? It's a fucking dessert!!!!! There was no sizzling, no ooohs and aaaaahs, and no tourist photos. It was a fucking brownie with ice cream on it with a small cup of maple whatever it was that looked like a cup of mayo. I heard no sizzling and saw nothing that resembled a wonder of the world.
Triple Chocolate Meltdown: "This rich and magnificently moist chocolate cake is topped with both dark and white chocolate. It's fudge filled center will erupt upon first bite, richly rolling into vanilla ice cream and hot chocolate fudge." Now the real deal, K-FO got this. There was no eruption, no Mt. Saint Helens activity. It was a piece of fucking cake! They make it sound like an orgasm, erupting at first bite. What the hell? Just say it's a piece of cake! I am surprised the chocolate and vanilla weren't emphasized more for "racial harmony." They could have made it a unity of the races dessert.
I think menu BS is more annoying than greeting card BS. The meal always sounds great until you order it. Then there's no cake being "hugged" by 2 scoops of ice cream. No Dairy fresh flavor. No country fresh goodness. Not like Grandma used to make. It's annoying.
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2 comments:
But, you have to admit...it would be fun to be the person who writes the descriptions.
Then again I would rather write horoscopes, being ambiguous while specific enough to make people keep reading...THAT is a challenge.
I say tell it like it is. After all we would like to know what the heck we are eating. I figure you have to read what it is anyway to make a decision so why all the rigamorole?
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