Consumer Complaints

Ever have an issue with service or the quality of a product or food and make someone who represents the company that screwed up aware of it? I find some of the remedies they offer amusing. "Excuse me, there's a foot long hair in my salad" you tell the waiter. He runs and gets the manager. When you tell the manager what happened he offers to not charge you for the hairy salad, offers you another hairy salad, or offers you a gift certificate to come back for a hairy salad at a later time. How many chances at a hair free salad do you give a restaurant before you cut them loose? Almost every product you purchase in the supermarket comes with a "questions or comments" phone number to call to comment or complain about the product. Same thing happens here, you tell them that their Rice A Roni tastes like crap and they send you coupons for MORE Rice A Roni. I wonder if anyone calls up just to make a comment. "Green Giant, may I help you?".....the consumer says, "MMMMMMMMM these peas are bursting with country fresh flavor, just thought you'd like to know." How many people call up to compliment the products on those 800 numbers? I'm sure it's mostly bogus complaints to get free shit from them.

I think the remedies should be different for poor food or product quality. Perhaps a rub down from the hottest waitress on duty the night of the hairy salad. (Or the hottest waiter if you are a woman or gay) How about $100 cash for every fly in your soup? How about a special "apology" song rather than the cheesy birthday songs they sing at tables? How about open bar for 2 hours, all you can drink to make up for the cold steak? I want their apology to mean something!