Remember those Mrs. Butterworth maple syrup commercials where the bottle of syrup (Mrs. Butterworth herself) would come to life and start walking across the table and talking? I always wondered how I'd react if my bottle came to life. Would I sit and discuss current events and condiments with her, or would I freak out and run out of the house? I mean don't get me wrong, she seems very nice and all, but I'm not sure I'd feel at ease in the company of a living syrup bottle. From a sexual standpoint, there's really not much use for her....I mean even if you unscrewed her cap, the hole is way too small. I'd probably use and abuse her to get me snacks during NFL playoff games, massages (with or without happy endings), have her wash my back in the shower, maybe load the dishwasher here and there. Not sure I'd let her sleep in my room or come out with my friends. She'd be my little secret. I'd try my best to be nice to her. If I did end up doing something with her, would that be considered cheating on my girlfriend?
Makes you wonder what the Parkay tub of margarine that used to talk would be good for...........
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2 comments:
I always thought that Mrs. Butterworth would get together with the Cream of Wheat guy-it would make oatmeal taste much better!
See, i always thought Mrs. Butterworth and Aunt Jemima lived in the Log Cabin!
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