Thursday, January 20, 2005

The Bathroom Hand Blower Mystery of 1991

Some of you already know this story, some of you don't. I've had to deal with an unsolved mystery since 1991. Back in 1991 I was a manager for a large retail pharmacy chain here on Long Island. As part of my duties as manager I would have to meet with about 50 sales reps from various companies weekly to place orders to stock the store with product. There was this one sales rep named Maryann. Maryann was about 5'1, about 150lbs who had an ass that was about 6 axe handles wide. One day I was eating lunch with my employees in the employee lounge when Maryann arrived. Maryann came into the employee lounge and said hello. She then proceeded to ask me if she could borrow a metal folding chair from the break room. I assumed she was going to use it to sit on and place her picture frame order. I said sure Maryann, help yourself. She then left with the chair. About 4 minutes passed and my employees and I heard a large crashing sound which seemed to come from the bathroom area which was right around the corner from the employee lounge. Fearing that an elderly customer may have fallen in the restroom, I jumped up from my lunch to investigate. I came upon the ladies' room where the door was slightly open. I peeked into the room to see if someone had fallen. To my surprise there was Maryann, standing on the folding chair with her pants and underwear around her ankles bent over with her huge ass hovering over the hand blower. She had pointed the blower upwards and her ass was hovering over the stream of heat. Her back was to me, so she didn't know what I had seen. I went running back to the employee lounge stunned. When my employees asked what had just taken place they were stunned as well when I told them. A few minutes later Maryann came back in with the chair and said, "thank you." She then proceeded to her aisle to place her order. She had no idea I had seen her. Fourteen years later, this is still a mystery. What was Maryann doing with her ass in the blower? Did she have an accident and had to wash and dry herself? Did she simply like the "hot air" feeling? Anyone I've ever told this story to has their own theory. Your thoughts?

1 comment:

supplymadam said...

I do recall this story. It seems to have a different meaning seeing it in actual words. Sounds like Maryann was a little bit of a thrill seeker. I cannot imagine any other reason someone would have for doing that. Especially when you can use a paper towel. That is the strangest thing I've ever heard. In a public bathroom no less. I would be curious as well if there was some other reason for this behavior other than a cheap thrill.