Something Right Out of Seinfeld......

Tell me this couldn't be a Seinfeld episode......

On Saturday I was up early as usual. On weekends, I have a side business that earns me some extra cash. No, it's not pimping, the lease for the whorehouse ran out in October, so I am done with that....for now. Anyway, on the way to a client of mine, I was stopped in traffic at a busy intersection waiting on a red light to turn green. I was about 20 miles from home in Great Neck. Three high school aged girls were walking on the median with a sign that said "Help Kids With Cancer" and they were carrying a big bucket. They were approaching cars and looking for donations. I reached into the console and threw about $2.00 worth of coin in the bucket and was greeted with an enthusiastic "THANK YOU!!!"

After my appointment with my client, I headed back to Long Beach. I figured I'd stop for lunch then head home to check on Bruce before my next appointment. I turned on to Long Beach road and headed towards home. When I got into Oceanside, I had to stop at a light that is NEVER green. (we all have one of those nearby, huh?) Wouldn't you know it, more high school girls looking for money for kids with cancer. Ok, even though I just donated a couple of hours ago 20 miles away, they wouldn't believe me, and I did not want to look like a mean fucko....so I looked in the console...no more change!!! I reached in my pocket, I had one single, a five, and five twenties in there, so I tossed in my single and got another enthusiastic, "THANK YOU!!!!"



A Cancer Fighting Army..... 

I then headed out to lunch. The lunch bill for Tatiana and I came to $19.25 at the pizzaria. I dumped my 75 cents change into the "tip cup" on the counter, we had lunch and headed home. I checked on Bruce and headed to my next appointment. Straight from my next appointment, which I got paid via check. I decided to do the weekly food shopping. I drove about ten minutes to the local supermarket and got out of my car. Wouldn't you know it.....MORE teenage girls, this time, outside the entrance to the store, soliciting money for the SAME charity I already donated to TWICE that day. I thought I could be slick and slip past them, but....Noooooooooooo. The girls approach me and say, "Pleeeeeeeease donate to help kids with cancer, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease." So, now I am fucked, I have NO singles, I threw my 75 cents change from the pizzaria into the tip cup...so now I only had four twenties and a five in my pocket. So I give them my five and get the "THAAAAAAAAANK YOU!!!!!, That was soooooooo nice of you" giggly voice from the girls. So, I head into the store and do my shopping.

The exit door, is FAR away from the entrance door, wouldn't you know, they had some of the army there too!!!!! Of course, different kids, who looked at me with those sad eyes. Now, do I say, I donated this morning at 10, on the road at noon, and at the store entrance 45 minutes ago? Who would believe me? They would call me a rat bastard, a fucko, and every other thing. Thankfully, I had some coin from my change in the supermarket....and dumped that in to receive the loud, high pitched, "THAAAAAANK YOU!!!!!" I said to the girls, "You have quite and army out there today, huh?" They laughed and said, "yeah, why do you ask?" I explained to them all my donations and how they appeared everywhere I went that day. It was good for a nice laugh.....

So when I got home and turned up my driveway, wouldn't you know it, three more girls soliciting money for the same charity. hahahaha just kidding, the three girls were the ho's from the whorehouse that went bust in October. They were just checkin' in with pimp cmac as to when the new whorehouse was opening.......

Have a great Tuesday!!!!