Monday morning.....and the start of another work week...for some. Some of you lucky bastards actually have today off for MLK day. Not me! Anyway.....
I usually always say exactly what I am thinking. Rarely do I "beat around the bush" when I want something or have something to say. But sometimes, one has to be tactful and come up with different ways of saying things.
In the dating world, especially when you are at the "beginning" stages of dating someone, people are usually on their best behavior. People don't want to seem too carefree about their feelings for someone, yet they don't want to come on too strong either. When it comes to sex, people drop hints, or use other phrases to hint that they want to bang....here are some of the classics:
When dropping a date off at their house, they'll ask if you want to come in for "coffee." Who drinks coffee at 3am? The only people I know who drink coffee at 3am are truckers driving cross country or people who are on guard at missle silos. Coffee, 90% of the time, really means sex.
If the other person is not a "coffee" drinker, they'll invite them in for a "drink." Like the 10 rounds at the bar weren't enough, a 4am drink is really necessary. Nine times out of ten, a drink equals a bang.
Every so often you'll be asked if you "need to use the bathroom" before driving home. This is a direct invite in, not for bathroom use, but for bedroom use. Don't you think if I needed to pee I'd ask?
After a date or two, if sex has not happened, the "let's rent a movie" discussion will come up. Now we all know that when you've been dating someone a while and have had sex numerous times, a movie really means a movie. Popcorn, soda, candy, and an entire movie usually is in the cards. Now, with someone you've never had sex with yet, that you've only dated a few times, a movie will almost always lead to either some serious fooling around or all out banging. Rarely do you make it 1/4 of the way through a "movie" without becoming very occupied on something else if you've never done it with this person before......
There is also the lure of something that you are interested in, like a collection of some sort, art, furniture, or any other item. A person you are dating will bring up something they know you are interested in, that just HAPPENS to be in their bedroom. "Oh, Charlie you like art? The Mona Lisa just happens to be hanging in my room, let me show you"........anytime you are brought into a bedroom to be shown something, like art, music, or any other item, you'll certainly almost always see a hell of a lot more than a painting.
The "I'll cook you dinner" one is always good too. It takes what, 10 minutes to eat? Then what?????? Sounds like you'll be doing a lot more eating later on.....haha
What are some of your favorites?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
charlie you crack me up.
and i guess i need to stop offering to cook for people 'cuz they'll get the wrong idea. lol.
I have a friend(female) that likes to have a ladies night once in a while and she cooks up a storm. I had no idea she was a lesbian.
One time, there was this girl that I worked with, and we would flirt like crazy together, anyway, I called her up with the good news that I had just landed a new job.....she asked how we should celebrate, and I responded in true Pu form "Lets get a hotel room and have a little fun"
Take a guess what that line usually means...
So a friend of mine did take me to his bedroom and showed me a cool print of all of Pink Floyd's album covers on women's asses. I told him it says alot about him. No sex though - could it have been that I was heading to church that evening? :)
I have done the... "come let me cook for you" routine, and I HATE to cook! So if I am willing to COOK for someone? I had BEST be getting something in return!
The, "you staying tonight or not?" normally works too.
Being a female has it's advantages, generally we don't have to do MUCH for sex, just bat an eyelash and hey, the point is there! :)
What if you hear all of those in one sentence...like this..."Hey wanna come over for dinner...then we can rent a movie and have some drinks, of course you can use my bathroom if you need to... I'll be turning on the coffee pot around 9sih."
Charlie just loooooves to pigeon hole and catergorize, doesn't he?
Just teasing!
We're all so damn sneaky, aren't we?
Or at least we think we are...
When board at college, "Wanna play strip poker?" works.
Post a Comment