What Is Love?

First, a "Valentine's Day" cartoon, C-Mac style.


True Love Indeed....... 


Based on my daily conversations and interactions with people from all walks of life, I really feel strongly that the one area in most people's lives that causes stress and takes up most of their time and energy is one of the following:

1) Trying to get someone to be with you/love you
2) Trying to maintain a relationship/keep someone interested
3) Finding the "right" person for you
4) Trying to "change" someone
5) Stressing out/hoping someone will leave someone else for you

FIVE MYTHS OF LOVE:

1. THE RIGHT PERSON WILL MEET ALL MY NEEDS.
Even if you have found your "soul mate," one person cannot be the sole source of your satisfaction. That's too big a burden, and impossible besides. Your partner is a human being. You'll need multiple sources - God, friends, family, a strong sense of life purpose, healthy self esteem, and a willingness to take responsibility for your own happiness.

2. I CAN CHANGE MY PARTNER.
OK, out there, hands up if you've ever tried this one. Did it work? Both men and women fall prey to this delusional temptation. There is only one person you can change. Guess who it is? There's a famous quote, "Be not angry that you cannot make another as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be."

3. LOVE WILL CONQUER ALL.
Though love is ultra-powerful in its pure and spiritual form, the feelings we call love can be ultra-fragile in the face of major differences in values, backgrounds, behavioral styles, and personal habits. Face those differences and their practical implications head on before making a commitment.

4. LOVE IS A FEELING.
I hinted at this one a moment ago. Yes, real love contains feelings, but those butterfly-in-the-stomach, heart-throbbing feelings come and go. Love is a verb. It's about doing - even in those temporary times when you inconveniently don't have wonderful feelings to stimulate the positive action.

5. WE'LL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
There's an additional hidden assumption here: If it's real love, you won't have to work at it. Even the best relationships have potholes, tragedies, and disappointments. As Shakespeare said, "the course of true love never did run
smooth". Truth is, a marriage certificate is really a work permit. Sometimes the most important thoughts we have are those that contradict our emotions. In every stage of a relationship, especially in the early stages, love can be blind.

Get real in your expectations, and you can save yourself from many unnecessary disappointments.

Love means different things to different people. For me, it is not about the "butterflies" or the "mystery" of someone new. It is really about getting to know someone and connecting on a higher level. It is about really understanding someone, really "getting" them. It is not about the early stages and someone letting you see what they want you to see, it is about finding out all their quirks and habits and caring about them even more. It's about sharing, the sharing of knowledge, experiences, activities, cultures, and tons of other things. It is about bringing out the best in each other, encouragement, inspiration, and motivation. But you truly have to love yourself before you can love someone else. That I believe.

As you all know, I am not a fan of this day. Love should be celebrated every day if you are truly with the person you love. But in the "spirit" of the day, I will leave you with one of my favorite "love" songs. I've always said that one of the saddest things in life is when two people love each other and can't be together. This song really showcases this. No matter where I am when I hear this song, I get choked up. So, each day, including a "Hallmark holiday", cherish the times you have with the person you love and never take them for granted..........

Get Here
By Oleta Adams

Have a great Tuesday!