President's Day has come and gone. The next "big" holiday that many of us will celebrate is St. Patrick's Day on March 17. Most of us don't realize that there are over 300 holidays celebrated yearly in the United States. Sure, you've heard of the major ones: New Years, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day etc. Then there are the "secondary" holidays like Groundhog's Day, Halloween, Arbor Day, Flag Day, Earth Day....there's a day for just about everyone.
There are "holidays" out there that many of us don't even know about. Here are a bunch, these are all real:
January 15 is . . . . Hat Day
January 21 is . . . . National Hugging Day
February 10 is . . . . Umbrella Day
March 19 is . . . . Poultry Day
April 10 is . . . . Golfers Day
May 6 is . . . . . Beverage Day
June 10 is . . . . National Yo-Yo Day
July 30 is . . . . National Cheesecake Day
August 12 is . . . . Middle Child's Day
September 5 is . . . . . Be Late For Something Day
October 16 is . . . . Dictionary Day
November 2 is . . . . . National Deviled Egg Day
December 4 is . . . . . Wear Brown Shoes Day
I have never heard of most of these. Honestly though, how many of us really celebrate the "true" meaning of the holidays? When I say "Memorial Day" the first thing most people think of is bbq's and the beach rather than those who died for our country. "Christmas" for most, means a tree, presents, and egg nog. "Easter" means, chocolate rabbits, colored eggs, and bonnets.
There should be a holiday that has a true meaning. So today, I am starting a new holiday which will be celebrated on March 3rd. I randomly picked that date, mostly because it is approaching and I am counting on all of YOU to spread the word, I am serious. I am declaring March 3rd "National Masturbation Day." Sure, we all masturbate every other day of the year, but I want everyone to to take some time out that day and really treat themselves well. I am not talking about the quick jerk or the quick finger, I am talking lotions, toys, porn, whatever it takes to really get into it. I am really counting on all of you to make this holiday happen. Each day from now until March 3rd, I will be counting down the days until National Masturbation Day. Then on March 3rd, I want you all to share your special masturbation stories. So please, pass this along to friends, co-workers, family, your place of worship, the clerk at the grocery store, your mechanic, your hairdresser, your doctors, your neighbors, etc. Let's make this a special day for ourselves.
TEN days and counting until National Masturbation Day. Mention it on your blogs and pass the word along!!!!!! :)
"If we took a holiday, took some time to masturbate, it would be, it would be so fine"- cmac 2/21/06
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
You know how they say that "when I'm with you, every day is Valentine's Day?" Well, when I'm with ME...
OK, OK, I'll spread the word. I think this is a just cause to stand behind!
"When in Rome..." I'll make sure I'l give it me 21 gun salute.
Some Hallmark Cards to send out on March 3rd:
"Thinking of you in your time of need."
"Congratulations - you did IT!"
"You touch my life in so many ways."
"You always know how to rise to the occasion."
"Wishing you many happy returns of the day"
Madonna rulz! You can also take a cue from her Blonde Ambition tour for masterbation ideas! If, anyone needs any.
And that's a Holiday you can celebrate alone unless you share it with your signficant other for their viewing pleasure.
I'll be sure to whip out my "Jizz-b-gone" solution for the stains on the ceiling that day
I thought that it already was a holiday!!! WTH???
Everyday is national masterbation day in my house!
Count me in. I think I'll do it twice just for fun.
you forgot the most important holiday ever! march 5th my birthday!!!
but yeah im in for the 3rd ;)
Ok, I was going to try and think of something smart and witty to say here, but macheri's stories kinda scared me and made me speechless...
Post a Comment