Wednesday, November 09, 2005

10 Drunken Memories

I was thinking to myself earlier, damn, I haven't been drunk in months. I suppose the drunk dial back in June made me go cold turkey from alcohol. What a disgrace I am to my heritage, an Irish guy (half anyway)that has not had a drink in months. I was thinking of stupid shit I've done while drunk. I may have shared these with some of you in the past, but what the heck, they are pretty comical:

10)The standard calling of the ex-girlfriend or ex-booty call. You always regret these calls the next day and for weeks to come. I have a policy now, if you don't speak to someone for two months after you have dated/hooked up, their number comes out of the phone to avoid these late night follies. God only knows what you actually said on these calls.

9)Passing out on the floor of a Bennigan's (restaurant) bathroom on my 25th birthday. Not the nicest place to rest your weary head. A bottle of Absolute after two 40oz beers will do that to you. A night I'd like to forget. Lucky I did not spend it in a hospital, but awful close.

8)Told my girlfriend's (at the time) indentical twin sister that I couldn't wait to have sex with her later that night and grabbed her ass. I thought it was my girlfriend, not her sister..there were no hard feelings, thankfully. She may have even liked it. I am suddenly getting the urge for some Doublemint Gum.

7)Invited a bunch of thugs into my house for Alize and Henessey that were passing through the neighborhood. Glad I wasn't robbed later in the week!

6)Rode bikes with my friend Melissa to and up on the boardwalk when both of us were too drunk to even stand. Not a smart idea. I think she may still have a scar on her knee from this. Thank God we were not pulled over for BWI!


Like a drunken sailor indeed...... Posted by Picasa

5)Climbed off my deck and onto the roof, which is very steep and narrow to dance to the Humpty Dance at last years (2004) birthday (C-Macapalooza II)party. I was the hit of the 'hood for sure the next day.

4)Played beer pong with Hennessey. I don't recommend this! :(

3) Indoor Hockey. We poured white baby powder all over the hardwood floors of my last house so me and my friends could skate in socks and play hockey in the house in winter. Many injuries that night. It took weeks to get all that powder up. I think Melissa may still have a scar from this one also. It was more slippery than ice could ever be.

2)Chicken bowling. We had a long hall in my last house. We took empty beer bottles and put them at the end of the hall as pins. We then took a frozen whole chicken out of the freezer and played bowling. Quite fun. Never did eat that poor chicken.

1) The oven mitt. Ok, so it's 3am at C-Macapalooza I (2003) and we are all shitfaced. We are all in my backyard being VERY loud. One of the neighbors must have called the police. I was dancing/moonwalking to Billie Jean by Michael Jackson, using an oven mitt as the "glove" to do the moves and grab my crotch. Just as I did the spin move and turned around, 2 cops were standing there laughing their asses off. Needless to say, they stayed a bit, had some food and chilled, they wanted to see what other moves we had up our sleeves.

Drunken stories rock...I want to hear yours!

9 comments:

Bridget Unnel said...

Damn, I've lived far too sheltered -- and sober -- a life!

Hu Flung Pu said...

I've got quite a few. But here's one that no one's heard of......Every year my friends and I go away for a long weekend snowboarding trip upstate NY. Anyway, we usually get very drunk while we're up there. One time we decided to play hide and seek outside in the o° weather and snow and we divided ourselves up into two teams. Well, one team would go outside and hide while the other would count to some number in the house, and then come running out and find us (fyi, we were in our 20's). Anyway, I decided to climb a big evergreen tree when it was my teams time to hide. I was up about 15 feet and no one saw me for like 20 minutes. These idiots were all around my tree, underneath me, and I was sitting on a branch drinking a nice cold bottle of beer. But, before I could get the last laugh, my branch cracked, and then I went tumbling down through the other branchs and landed flat on my back in a pile of snow at the feet of my enemies. But the alcohol helped dull the pain. I have so many more funny ones....just not enough time.

Anonymous said...

Went to Vegas w/5 other gals from work this summer. I had an episode with not being able to figure out why my shower wasn't working - it might have had to do with the very tall, double shot margarita I bought on Freemont street. We were staying at the Golden Nugget and after a day of shopping and being hot, we needed a frozen cold drink, but maybe not eating first was the culprit. Anyway, we (three of the five other gals) decided to get ready for later that night and one had to take a 2 hour nap, and the other two, which didn't have the same drink as us, went to gamble more. I was left alone to get ready and was mad because when I turned the handle on the shower, this thin little stream of water came out. It was truly a sight to see me rinsing my hair - I finally gave up and took more of a bath (lasted about 30 minutes, 20 minutes too long). Anyway, later, when they all showed up I was telling them about what a hard time I had, and one of the girls said "A", you just had to pull the handle out." I suck when I'm buzzed! Couldn't figure out a dang shower. SAD. So, that was one of many episodes of our Vegas trip. Too much booze - not enough hours in the day.

Heather said...

Have to say that the worst one that I can think of at this moment is having my roommate help me shave my legs, then getting out of the shower and passing out in my luggage wearing nothing but a towel. I'm a pretty modest girl. Wandering around in a tiny towel is not something I do...

In recent memory, I fell asleep at the table in a busy restaurant... Can you believe the waiter woke me up to ask me if I wanted another drink?

Marie said...

I recall being in Oahu with some friends, drinking lots of tropical drinks and suddenly getting the urge to run to the beach from the outdoor lounge, take off my clothes (as I went running) and jump into the ocean. I did do that but thankfully one of my more sober friends went out with me to ensure I didn't drown. Oh, the memories...I know I have more stories but that one stands out right now.

Danielle said...

showtunes in lingerie... 'nuff said.

Fizzgig said...

well, it IS hard to choose...but I was pulled over walking drunk with 3 friends. I saw the lights, and said "Are we getting pulled over??" The cops didn't give us a hard time and just asked us to stay in the grass, so we didn't get hit. We thought we were being smart walking and not driving, but we still got pulled over.

Unknown said...

Instead of humping IN a car I humped A car....SUV to be exact.

Darcey said...

I may have to borrow this thread for tomorrow's posting.
But one of them has to be the night I got so drunk and I woke up the next morning engaged to a guy I had met 3 days before.