I have never been able to understand the people that enjoy reading on the toilet. It is something that has baffled me for years. Why would anyone want to spend any extra time in the bathroom? I've been to homes where I have seen magazine racks filled with newspapers, magazines, and books in the bathroom. Are these people insane? I don't know about you, but I do what I have to do then get the hell out of the bathroom. The less time in there the better. I'd rather read in the sanitary environment of my living room than right next to urine and feces, but, that's just me. Once a book or magazine hits that bathroom, it pretty much can't be brought anywhere else. If you don't finish the book in the toilet, you certainly can't bring that thing to the breakfast table!
I know I've spoken about bathrooms a million times on this blog, but bathrooms are very important. As you all know, I hate public restrooms, I kind of have a public bathroom phobia. But going into a "strange" bathroom at someone else's house can be just as bad. Have you ever gone to the bathroom at someone's house only to realize there was no toilet paper? What the hell do you do?
I have a really funny bathroom story from when I was about 16. My grandmother was ill and came to live with us. My parents gave her my room and I had to move downstairs where there were 2 bedrooms and a bathroom. My sister had one room and I had the other and we shared the bathroom. After 10pm, my mom asked that I not come upstairs for anything because once my grandmother woke up, she would not fall back to sleep so my mom did not want any noise or anything upstairs. So, one night, my sister was out and I was watching TV in my room and I felt the urge to go to the bathroom....#2 in case you are wondering. I did my business and went to grab some toilet paper, only to see an empty spool. Damn my sister! Anyway, with my pants around my ankles, I looked under the sink and in the vanity, NO toilet paper. I was desperate now, what the hell was I going to do? I couldn't go upstairs where I knew there was a HUGE supply because I may wake up my grandmother and my mom would be upset.
So, with my pants around my ankles, I wandered through the door into the garage. I knew that my mom would shop in bulk and sometimes store paper towels or toilet paper in bulk in there, but that night, NONE! I got as far as the laundry room and now I was desperate. I noticed a HUGE box of Bounce fabric softener and thought, "wow, this will work." I grabbed the box and waddled back to the bathroom. This stuff actually worked, and worked well. I was all clean and I went to sleep. The next morning I woke up and my ass crack was VERY itchy. It was then I realized that my ass was irritated from the fabric softener chemical. I looked at my ass in the mirror and it was bright pink and irritated. When I told my parents that morning, my mom and dad laughed so hard that I thought they would need oxygen. It was a holiday or family gathering story for years, about Charlie and the Bounce Fabric softener. My advice, don't ever wipe your ass with it. My ass hurt for days!
By the way, the squirrel in this picture looks familiar, like Spanky who lives in Tiny A's wall! :)
Have a great Wednesday!
15 comments:
I don't know, Chaz. I have it on good authority that your butt is smooth.
C-Mac...PLEASE, please please, kill those week-old A/V clips that you post that conflict with each other when we read your blog. A day or two from each one is enough--perhaps up to a week, but the next time you post one the old one(s) is(are) still playing, and it takes me up to a minute to scroll down through your entriest to kill them one by one to stop the dissonance.
This is the only reason I haven't been around commenting lately as often as I used to. I love the blog for reading, but the noise is just too much!
Can you possibly figure out a way to post them not on autoplay, but so that we readers must actively click on a play button to get them to play? That would avoid hearing 5-8 of them at once clashing with each other.
Laughing Frog~
There is an amazing invention on your computer known as a dial. Its for volume control. If you can waste all of that time complaining on your comment, you can turn it down for a minute or two. Your comment reads like a cacophony in and of itself. :)
Janie R.
Hey Laughing Frog,
It may be the settings on your computer b/c the day after I post any video clip I shut the autoplay off....any computer I access my blog on there is no video playing....I knew that these would conflict if I did not shut autoplay off, so I am not certain why you are still seeing/hearing them w/o pressing play. Strange.
Is anyone else hearing a bunch of videos at once?
Oh that story is a riot!! Your poor bum!!
I eat a sandwich on the bowl.
i browse thru the 20 catalogs i get a week on the pot. i get good ideas on what to wear that morning 'cause i never plan the night before.
LOL! That's a hilarious story, C-Mac
By the way, I get the videos playing simulaneously too but I just turn down my volume. Maybe it's because I use FireFox as my browser most of the time. It doesn't happen when I use IE. :) Have a good day!
Ouuch! Man who wipes with dryer sheet doesn't wake up with smelly fingers.
I don't hear lots of music...I don't hear any. I'm amazed that you are a man who doesn't read for hours on the toilet. Good for you!
I think FireFox is the culprit to the video complaint.
People thought it was the end all be all... I think it sucks. That's just me. The Laughing Frog needs to calm down!!!
NOTE TO SELF: Always check roll before unbuttoning jeans.
Maybe it's because I'm a girl, but I always check the roll before I even sit down...
Yeah, it may be Firefox, because that's what I use as well. Still, I refuse to use IE unless it's for a .net app I have to use to pull data for clients.
I'd love to be able to say that I will open up a different browser just to read your blog, but in reality, I probably won't, and will just go click on the next one on my list. It's a shame.
So who is this "Janie R" person? She sounds like she rode in on Martha Stewart's broomstick.
Laughing Frog~
Janie R. is a person who knows how to work a volume knob. The broomstick I have was taken from up your a**. :)
Janie
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