At the office? Hit the bathroom or a storage closet and take care of business!
On the road? Pull over and have a party with yourself!
At home? Try doing it once in every room of the house today! (just keep away from tonight's dinner ingredients)
On vacation? Go home with a stronger wrist!
I want to hear some good masturbation stories from today or times past!
In the spirit of "National Masturbation Day" The Sugar V was kind enough to drop off a home video he made on Wednesday night for all of us. It is the first time we are actually seeing him (his face) in the blog world, so it is a double treat today!!! Thanks Sugar V for making this day official with this great video. National Masturbation Day, Video Friday, an intimate C-Mac masturbation story below, and Sugar V revealing himself all in one day.....what a way to end our week!
I TOUCH MYSELF (Sugar V's Home Video: Filmed 3/1/06-Brooklyn, NY)http://www.thesugarv.blogspot.com
Have a wonderful weekend everyone! But FIRST, a classic C-Mac masturbation story, a true story.
I was about 21 or so and I was alone in my apartment one night about midnight. I was completely naked and having, I guess you can call it, "phone sex" with this girl I worked with. We were talking really nasty and I was stroking like a madman. I was kind of seeing someone (casually, nothing serious) at the time and she mentioned that she "might" stop by that night around 10. By 11 or so I figured there was no way she was stopping by, so I took the call from this girl I worked with. While I was in the middle of stroking like a madman, I heard my front door open which I forgot to lock because I left it open for her. In the middle of stroking, I hung up on the other girl and pretended I was sleeping. I also was smart enough to shut the ringer off on the handset because I knew the horny chick would be calling right back after our "accidental" disconnection. The girl I was "seeing" walks in and sees me naked in the bed with a phone right next to me. I pretended that I "just woke up" and she asked me why I was naked and not under the covers. It was summer so I just told her I was warm. I got up, put the phone away and that was that. She bought my story! Or at least she acted like she did......the ignorance of youth. And of course the stupidity of youth on my part.......not locking that door....I mean.... doing that behind her back........ :)
Ok now, I shared, now I want your stories!!!!!!
16 comments:
OMG! This is my first time visiting your site and your stories have me rolling! Truly some of the funniest shit I have ever read!
oh darling.
of course after pondering a bit on what story to tell. I thnk i'll jsut say....
one night not very long ago I was enjoying some personal time with my good 'friend' Ike. A wonderful purple ....well anyhow.
I guess I Got a little loud.
I heard the Queeen from her bedroom.....
'mommy? is everything okay?'....
yah she never came in thank Goodness. I think that would be harder to explain somehow
This is an oldie but maybe not everyone heard this joke:
A thirty year old woman still living home with her parents was in her bedroom masturbating with a vibrator.Her mother walks by and pushes open the door and sees her and say "What are you doing"? She replies "Mom I'm obviously not getting married any time soon,this is my husband"
The mother likes that idea and goes out and buys herself a vibrator and goes home to use it. When her husband comes home he catches her with the vibrator and a cocktail. He says to her "What are you doing" She replies "I'm having a drink with my son-in-law"
That actually looks like the sugar V. Great Video. I'll do my best to participate in your masturbation day.
Ok...a twist on the M story. LOL. I was doing the lunch dishes. Ava was about 5 and Sammy boy was 4. They were watching some show in my room. All of a sudden they appear with what is a nice electric blue rubber in feel penis looking, battery operated device! LOL!!!! Hey mommy...what's this...it's really cool. I stood there...weak in the knees..mouth on the floor...and casually said, "It's a Mr. Microphone!" LOL..Oh and you have to be much older for it to actually work..LOL! They bought it and hopefully they forgot about my Mr. Microphone! LOL. Lesson is..if you have children..never never never ever leave toys in the night stand or lingerie drawers.
I will forever refer to my special blue toy as Mr. Microphone!
Thanks for your sweet thoughts. I sooo appreciate it.
xoxo
C
Was that Napoleon Dynamite dancing? Great moves! I remember the first time I ever masterbated, I was not even interested in boys yet, but I had an older brother, who had porn that I found, and I'll always remember "The Best Little Whore House in Hong Kong" I saw the girls doing it, and wondered what all the hub-ub was about, so when I tried it, I was pleasantly suprised! =)
Wow Sugar V has got some great moves! Where did he learn those from? Very nice. TGIF!!!
Ahhhhh..."I touch myself" By the Divinils. Quite a catchy tune. Actually, I sing it every time I get a chance at Karaoke.
I have never owned a vibrator. Seriously. Never. Is that strange?
Never Jenni? Oh, honey, you shouldn't say such things around me. My best friend and I get bored (and usually slightly drunk), and we go to the local toy shop and start buying random stuff to give out as gag gifts!! I just had a coworker tell me she didn't own one either... guess what she's getting for her b-day!
True Story: My cousin and I were getting dim sum in Flushing Queens...we were the only white ladies there. I just had a very bad breakup, and she took me out and bought me a present. The present was in a nice bag with pretty tissue paper.
As she was ordering sticky rice in banana leaf, I took it upon myself to open the gift.
In the middle of Gum Fung, with all of these nice Chinese families having Sunday morning dumplings, I unwrapped not ONLY a vibrator, but a dildo, too.
My cousin was like, NO YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO OPEN THAT HERE!
I swear, I put 'em back in the tissue paper and they haven't been taken out since this mortifying experience two years ago! I will forever associate them with dumplings, chinese people, and the most embarassing moment of my life!
Sigh...yes, I still love my cousin!
You dirty little bugger... : )
What I don't understand is why you didn't just pull the covers up...
You had time to shut the ringer off on the phone!
I can't say that I have any great stories though... I've gotten caught a time or two though...
Oh and for the Musey Girl... I don't have one either, but I have this fantastic "BACK massager"... HA!
I just remembered something! Actually, Sean's blog reminded me of something...
March 20 is Steak and Blow Job Day!
Seriously...it is. Google March 20 and that's what you'll find...
I thought that might be a holiday you could get on board with...
I've seen enough Dancing Guy clips to last a lifetime. Please, C-Mac, stop force feeding autoplay a/v clips onto your readers. If I want to play it, I'll hit the play button. You don't give me that choice. This is why I only check in here ~ once a week, anymore. I love the blog, but HATE the force-fed sound effects.
HAHAHAHA that’s funny!!! That guys almost looks like me. Anyway I have a story. Back in the early 90's when the internet was still unknown I began to realize that I could get tons of porn for free. I quickly started downloading porn and indulged myself in the pleasure of the self-touch. Anyway, some sort of sexual position got me all steamed up and I was really cranking it. All of the sudden I burst waaay too early and unexpectingly myself square on the chin. There I was looking like I just came out of a porn shoot with what looked like a white foo-manchu beard. I guess the take home message on this is girls its not soo bad.
That video is hilarious! LOL!!
I can't really think of a good masturbation story. I don't think I've been caught before...Hmm. I'll have to ponder this one. ;)
Have a good weekend!
Just my luck! I missed friday!
Post a Comment