Sometimes You Just Get Lost In The Forest

Have you ever been involved in a relationship, or employed at a job, or involved in anything that made you lose touch with yourself? Something in which the more you got involved and the deeper you went into that forest, the more lost you became? I think many of us have been there and it took an extraordinary event or inspiration from within to free ourselves from that forest.


Lost In The Forest 

For the last two years I was employed at a pharmaceutical company. I was hired in December of 2003 because of my extensive background and experience in procurement and negotiation. During the interview process, I was told that many of my previous accomplishments were ideas that the company needed, so I was immediately hired. I left the technology field for pharmaceuticals with great hope of a long and bright future. I would have to take a step back salary wise, but I was willing to do it because of all the potential I saw there.

During the first few months, things were great. Many of my ideas were put into place and I was relied upon greatly within my department. I always provided the best service, built great relationships with people at work and with vendors and suppliers outside the company, and came in with a positive attitude. Suddenly things changed.

I am not sure if it was jealousy, if some felt threatened by me, or if it was just plain stupidity, but suddenly my immediate supervisor and another employee, whose brother in law is the VP of the organization turned on me and made my life hell for the next 18 months. I am not talking about typical office politics, I am talking about unethical, illegal, and hostile actions. For 18 months I battled and hoped things would turn around. I continued to perform the job to the highest standards possible despite the very hostile environment. It was a struggle each day to get up and go to work and it took its toll on me mentally and physically. I reported this behavior to HR and the people I was supposed to report it all to, yet nothing was done about it and the behavior continued. Each day I felt like I was sinking deeper and deeper into an abyss. The only things that got me through each day were my friends at the job and the knowledge that someday I'd be out of there.

As you sink deeper and deeper into something like this, or a bad relationship, or whatever, your instincts tell you every day that you need to get out, that the situation you are in is bad for you, yet you stay. Maybe it's optimism that things will improve, maybe it's being naive that you will change these "bad" people, maybe it's a competitive spirit, who knows, but you become lost in that forest and it takes its toll on you. Eventually you find a way out.

I am out of that situation now. I have my pride back. I no longer have to deal with blatant ignorance, with tension that you could cut with a knife, or with people who are genuinely evil. I have more than enough physical evidence to go to court with if I eventually choose to, but isn't freeing yourself from that and moving on with a sense of pride while those two bastards rot there payment enough? Or is revenge for all they did to me called for in this situation? Do I owe it to my friends still employed there and future employees to fight and ensure this won't happen to anyone else? Or do I say fuck it? There were a couple of people in a position to do something, yet they sat around and did nothing. It's amazing, but most people only take action if it's something that directly has an effect on them, not because it's the right thing to do regardless. That's what's wrong with America and the world. One thing is certain, you find out fast who your friends are.

What kind of "forest" have you been lost in and how did you get out?