The Lifetime Network

"Lifetime, TV for Women" is their slogan. We've all seen the movies on that channel. Where do they come up with some of this shit? I have a few issues with Lifetime:


Bring on the Drama 

1) Almost every male character in their movies is a rapist, a molester, an abuser, or something evil.

2) Meredith Baxter-Birney or Shannon Dougherty star in almost every movie. (Throw in Tory Spelling quite a bit too)

3) The jury always finds the woman "not gulity" when she snaps and kills her husband or boyfriend.

4) There is always a long drawn out drama where a woman meets a guy, he is soooo nice, then she marries him, he turns into this monster, then she makes many attempts to get away, calls upon a male "friend" to help her, who in turn, gets beat up by the bad guy. She then finds a way to kill the husband, then she is either not charged with the crime or the jury finds her not guilty at trial, then she ends up with the male "friend" aka the good guy at the end.

5) Most of these movies could be wrapped up in 90 minutes. Lifetime Network, however, likes to make each one an all day extravaganza. These movies start at like 1pm and run until 7pm.

6) The saddest part is that once you pass the channel on a rainy Saturday afternoon and see what's going on, you get sucked in sometimes and actually find yourself watching this crap. You fall asleep for three hours and wake up, the same movie is still on and barely anything has happened.

7) Every commercial is for Tampons, Douches, or Birth Control patches.

They should come out with a channel called "Dealing With Drama", Television for men. They could show long drawn out movies about crazy chicks, psycho chicks, and all the other stuff men have to deal with. Of course, to get a male audience, there would have to be tons of nudity and lots of beer commercials.......and the movie could only last for about 30 minutes.