When the Moment Is Right..............

You have all seen this commercial....the couple in the bathtubs with the voice over talking about erectile dysfunction and how Cialis can help them....

Is it erectile dysfunction or could it be the fact that they are in separate tubs, in public, sitting in 50 degree water, with a cool sea breeze blowing on them? Not to mention the paranoia of the Zodiac Killer or Son of Sam sneaking up on them and killing them. No wonder the poor guy can't get hard.

Anyway, the weekend is upon us! I am excited for it and the fact that I have a 2 day work week next week...then 2.5 day work week after that...VACATION!!!!

Oh one more thing.....gum companies need to stop inventing flavors. Grape, cherry, cinnamon, peppermint, etc are flavors. Artic Blast and Crystal Frost sound like some form of meth.....ever taste these made up flavors?????

I will catch up with you all on Monday! Enjoy your weekend...what the heck...I will leave you with a video...just like old times....enjoy the music!

Biiiiiiiig Search for Bigfoot

Ok, stay with me for a second....read this quick article...then read my take on it....

MANISTIQUE, Mich. — Researchers will visit the Upper Peninsula next month to search for evidence of the legendary creature known as "Bigfoot" or "Sasquatch."

The expedition will focus on eastern Marquette County, said Matthew Moneymaker of the Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization.

"We'll be looking for evidence supporting a presence.... We hope to meet local people who might have seen a Sasquatch or heard of someone else who had an encounter," Moneymaker told the Daily Press of Escanaba.

The legend of Bigfoot dates back centuries. But skeptics have challenged accounts of sightings, and practical jokers have staged hoaxes that have included grainy film footage of people dressed in costumes.

But Moneymaker said members of his organization have either glimpsed Bigfoot or gotten close enough to hear the creature in all but three of 30 expeditions in the United States and Canada.

Dr. Grover Krantz, a scientist specializing in cryptozoology, the study of creatures that have not been proven to exist, believes Bigfoot is a "gigantopithecus," a branch of primitive man believed to have existed 3 million years ago.

Ok, for starters....they actually have an "organization" dedicated to bigfoot research???? What kind of fucking idiot joins this organization???? Picture this..

Man: "Honey, see you Monday"
Woman: "Where are you going dear??"
Man: "I have that bigfoot search/expedition this weekend, remember?"
Woman: "Oh, I forgot! Have a wonderful time darling, hope you find him, be careful!!!"

This guy hasn't been laid since the Johnson aministration.....Andrew Johnson.....

Maybe it is because I am a native New Yorker and used to occupying my time in a much more productive way....but I think I'd feel the same way if I lived elsewhere. I just couldn't picture myself wandering through the woods for a weekend looking for a make believe "monster" who Buster Brown modeled a shoe after back in the 70's. Remember those? They made a shoe for kids with a "footprint" on the bottom as a spoof on bigfoot.....my mom actually bought them for us.....anyway.....

Who funds this organization? Do people write off "The Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization" on their taxes as a charitable donation? I mean, they need supplies, tents, sleeping bags, and many weapons to fight off this beast don't they?

When are people going to realize that the "picture" taken back in the 1970's of Bigfoot is some drunken asshole in a gorilla costume on a weekend bachelor party retreat???? Come on guys, there's one of "them" in every bunch!

Wouldn't logic dictate that if there WAS a bigfoot, he'd probably be dead already??? I guess 3 million years old is considered a toddler in bigfoot years. West Nile Virus, contaminated lakes and streams, acid rain (especially in Michigan), lack of sex, no good pizza for miles.....

Something in the sea..I could believe. Scientists still discover over 100 "new" species of marine life each year.....the ocean is deep and vast and I could see how you could "miss" something all these years....but some 10 foot tall hairy beast wandering around the woods of Michigan wearing a size 30....I think not.....unless it is Ron Jeremy on vacation.

Does It Really Matter????

I should preface this blog entry by saying that I don't hate any one "group" of people...I just happen to hate most everyone...so here goes......

In my weekend travels, I pass many store fronts. Whether it be here in the "City By the Sea" or in one of the five boroughs of New York City, I like to people watch. Lately I have noticed a big trend. Fat women getting manicures and pedicures very frequently. Now, don't get me wrong, nice nails and feet on any woman is a good thing.....but...shouldn't these "big" women start on the obvious first??? It's like only painting the trim on your house and letting the rest of it rot away.....I don't get it. Shouldn't the big job get done before the little details?

Do they think that when they go out later that night people are going to look beyond the 80lbs of belly fat bursting over those low rise jeans that they painted on? You know the pants...the ones where the zipper and button are holding on for dear life. I get it.....a guy is going to look beyond your ass that is six axe handles wide and admire your toes.....

I don't discriminate. Fat men do the same shit. They will go out and spend a fortune on a "nice" car or "nice" clothes...thinking a woman is simply going to look beyond the potato chip crumbs lost in their crater sized belly button. These guys haven't seen their dick since the Nixon administration....yet they make sure to fine tune the little points.

About two months ago I was walking Bruce in my neighborhood. It was a Friday Morning around 7am. On the corner of my block and the main road there is a huge 24 hour bagel store. I was crossing the street (I had the light in my favor) in front of the bagel store when out of nowhere this 350lb guy EATING A BAGEL while driving his huge SUV almost runs us over. He rolls down the window and asks "Why are you walking your dog in the street????" I turned to him and said "The question of the day shouldn't be about me walking my dog...the question of the day is DO YOU REALLY NEED THAT BAGEL YOU FAT FUCK??????" He was stunned and just drove away......

Another story about looking at the "fine points" and missing the big picture.... I am hooked on a certain flavor of Vitamin Water. It is called XXX. It has a ton of antioxidants...pomegranate juice, blueberry juice...and some other berry juice...anyway it is really good for you. Jen and I were on the beach on Saturday soaking up ths sun and enjoying each other's company and "people watching." In front of us was a group of about 8 twenty-somethings. One girl was drinking one of the XXX Vitamin waters while she was bragging about how good it was for her. Meanwhile, she had a cigarette in the other hand and was puffing away in between gulps of the vitamin water. I don't understand people.......

Weekend!!!!

After a wild night of thunderstorms, a sunny day with low humidity is upon us here at "the beach." No real writing today, just wishing you all a great weekend and leaving you with an old 80's tune I have in my head today! Enjoy! :)

You're FIRED!!!

Kellogg's says it will stop advertising its breakfast cereals to children under 12 unless the cereal meets certain nutritional guidelines. The decision comes on the heels of a threatened lawsuit by several advocacy groups who claim that the "cartoon" characters target youngsters and cause obesity.

Are you fucking kidding me? Tony the Tiger, who has been around for years, and his buddies are making your kid fat? PLEASE!!!! Snap, Crackle, and Pop are the least of your kid's worries.

Your kid is fat from the 4 gallons of soda he drinks a day, the 5 hours of video games, the lack of exercise, the "Oscar Meyer" bologna sandwiches you pack him for lunch, and the pizza you feed him for dinner because you are too fucking lazy to cook a meal for your kids. Don't blame Toucan Sam.

It seems like people are always looking for someone else to blame....looking right past the fat little fuck sitting on the couch on an 80 degree day playing with his Sony Playstation. I may sound old, but when I was a kid, we had to be called about 10 times to COME IN for dinner. On a summer day, we were LOCKED outside the house and forced to play and were only allowed in to use the bathroom.

I say to the parents out there.....stop whining and start parenting. While you are at it, stop looking for a scapegoat everytime something goes wrong. Stop blaming teachers for your child's stupidity, stop blaming music and movies because your kid is fucked up, and stop blaming McDonalds and Cartoon characters because your kid is a fat fuck.

The rate of obesity will in no way be slowed down by Kellogg's decision. In reality, it will actually lead to increased weight gain, because people will consume more now that they think it is "nutritional." Bank on it.

I am sure other cereal makers will follow suit. So watch out Trix Rabbit, your cottony ass is next!

Hasn't the Trix Rabbit endured enough? Those little fucks tormented him for years, teasing him with those bowls of fruity goodness only to tell him "Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids!!!!" The Trix Rabbit dressed in drag, in clever disguises, and tried so many other ways to get himself a simple bowl of cereal, and now he's out of work? He definitely will snap now....if you see him in a trenchcoat....run like hell.

So what will come of these characters now that they are out of work??????

Snap, Crackle and Pop....Gay porn for sure.

Tony the Tiger will be exiled to the San Diego Zoo where he will tormented by tourists until he dies a slow and painful death.

The Trix Rabbit will snap and kill a bunch of kids and end up on death row with Scott Peterson.

Toucan Sam will be shot, stuffed, and placed on some hunter's mantle.

The Lucky Charms dude will become an alcoholic.

These poor bastards.

A Need for Marketing???

Well, the weekend is over and it was back to the grind today! I had a nice weekend with Jen and we got to do a lot.

Saturday Night, after a day at the beach here in Long Beach, we got our stuff together (including Bruce) and went to Jen's house in Queens for the night. We were excited to see "Sicko" (on DVD) the new Michael Moore movie that comes out in 2 weeks that I was lucky enough to get my hands on before it's movie release (shhhhh). She just got a new kick ass TV and we thought we'd enjoy watching it there. Anyway....before we started the movie, I was flipping around the channels. I think Jen was in the bathroom or the kitchen at this point.....when a "VAGISIL" anti feminine itch creme commercial came on. Immediately the wheels started turning.....

How many women with itchy vaginas do they think were watching channel 40 at that time? Was there going to be a mass exodus of itchy vagina women making a charge for the local drugstore? A product like this just does not need to be advertised on TV in my opinion. If you have an itchy vagina, is it going to take a commercial to make you go get something for it? I would think you would get a treatment way before a commercial "persuaded" or "reminded" you to do it. If it takes a commercial for you to notice or want to stop the itching, you have bigger problems.

The same goes for tampons. Do we need a commercial? I think all women old enough to have a period know what to do when they get it. A lightbulb isn't going to go off in your head after seeing a commercial and a puddle of blood on the sofa and make you think "Hmmmmmmmm...maybe I should buy a tampon!"

Ladies, I don't discriminate. Jock itch sprays/creams, whatever the hell form those come in, should not be advertised either. Guys, long before scratching your balls in front of the TV on a Saturday Night, you should have done something for it ealier in the day.

Marketing foods at night I can understand because it does not take too much to lure a fat fuck out of the house for a Whopper, a Little Debbie Snack cake, or a Taco Bell Burrito. The slightest hint or picture of food could get a fat fuck staggering for the car keys in his/her fuzzy slippers and pool cover sized robe.....but Vagisil? Come on!!!!

Shouldn't they leave ads for certain items off TV? Here are some I would ban:

Douches (sorry, all you not so fresh women!)
Tampons, Maxi Pads (with or without wings), pantyliners, etc
Feminine itch creams
Jock itch creams
Erectile dysfunction medications (4 hour erection? I am not calling my doctor!)
Bladder Control medications

What am I forgetting?

Have A Nice..................Weekend??

"Everybody's working for the weekend
Everybody wants a little romance
Everybody's goin' off the deep end
Everybody needs a second chance, oh
You want a piece of my heart
You better start from start
You wanna be in the show
Come on baby lets go"

On Wednesday I heard one of my employees say "Have a nice weekend" to the Poland Spring delivery guy at work. Granted, the Poland Spring guy only comes every two weeks and my employee would not see him again before the weekend, but isn't that a little premature? Have a nice afternoon, have a nice day, or have a nice night wouldn't have sufficed? It was freakin' Wednesday before noon!!!!! Not even the official halfway point of the work week!

I think the earliest a person should wish someone a "good weekend" is Thursday afternoon if you know you won't see that person again before the weekend. Even Thursday morning isn't close enough I think.....your thoughts?

It is the same bunch of folks that wish someone a "Happy New Year" past January 15th. Even if it is the first time you have seen me since the new year began, too late, just ask me how I've been. I give someone a week to get their Happy New Year salutation out of the way.

I start saying good afternoon at work at 11:30-11:45am when answering my phone. Let's face it, the morning is over.

What are your greeting policies?

Help!

"Help, I need somebody,
Help, not just anybody,
Help, you know I need someone, help."

Have you noticed how difficult it is to find someone to help you these days when you are shopping at a retail store? It is next to impossible to locate someone actually working the sales floor.....and when you do find them, it usually "isn't their department." What the fuck?????

I think it would be a hell of a lot easier to find Osama Bin Laden (if we are actually still (or ever were)looking for the guy). Seriously. I walked around a sporting goods store on Sunday for about 15 minutes before I spotted an employee and the one I eventually found was no help at all. Between the language barrier and lack of knowledge about anything the store he works in sells, I was screwed and left the store empty handed.

The Home Depot is known for the "not my department" bullshit. Translation "I don't want to help you fucko!" I went into a Home Depot a few weeks ago for a special light bulb and I got hit with the "not my department" crap. Hey asshole, I didn't ask you who invented the lightbulb, nor did I ask you to hold my hand and escort me down the fuckin' yellow brick road to find them, just humor me with a point in the right direction. The douche nozzle made it sound like I wanted him to explain the inner workings of the bulb to me.

That's why I have a new strategy when I go shopping. Seek out the retarded or handicapped employee. Really, no joke. They are thrilled to be employed and earning a paycheck and go out of their way to help. As a former retail manager, I can tell you, the handicapped or mentally challenged employees are the best, by far. So next time you are shopping, look for the employee with drool on his/her smock or the one twitching in the corner, you will get top notch service.

I Think I Am Ready.....

To start writing again. It is funny where life can take you. I have been away from writing and blogging for a long while. I have missed it. Anyway, here is a recap on where I have been and what I have been up to:

In April, I moved to a new place. It is a few houses from the ocean with an amazing view of it from the deck. It is a nice place to call home, for now.

I met an amazing woman in April. Her name is Jen and I feel like I have known her for years. She is thoughtful, caring, kind, fun, beautiful, and a million other things. I am very lucky to have met her and I am thankful for each day we have together. We spend the weekends together here at the beach or at her place in Queens and she comes out to Long Beach on Tuesday Nights. It is really nice.

Bruce is doing great....he is slimming down a bit. I drop him off each day before work at an old neighbor's house. She has two dogs and two kids and he plays all day with them while I am at work. It tires him out so I get some relief at night when he passes out early! :)

I am still at the same job. I have taken on some different/additional roles. I have gotten into some sales and it is good extra money. I don't see this company as a long term career but it is good for now.

I got out of a very tough but brief "relationship" late last year. I should have never gotten involved with this person, but I did. It is amazing how one person can take your life into a whole other direction....especially when it is the wrong direction. I did not write about her at all last year. She was someone I was with after Tiny A but before I dated Caren. It has taken a lot to get beyond all that happened with this person.....

Speaking of Tiny A, we have a nice friendship now. Like me, she has met someone great for her and is happy. I couldn't be happier for her. I last saw her on St. Patrick's Day. We had a nice day together here in Long Beach. I am hoping to see her soon, introduce her to Jen and meet her boyfriend.

I have not seen or heard much of the Sugar V. We spoke briefly last week for the first time in months. I miss him and our talks/laughs.

I am still running. I actually bought that NIKE chip you put in your sneaker that communicates distance/speed etc to your IPOD. It really is a good motivating tool. It tracks everything!

My family (mom, dad, brother) all moved to Raleigh, NC in November. It is weird not having them around. They are doing well though. My brother had a new house built and moves in on June 21st!

Well, that's the scoop! My blog has a new link, so link me if you are an old blogger friend! I will be getting back to writing a few days a week...hopefully with some funny shit like the "old days!"

March Madness!!!

How did this happen? I went from blogging daily, sometimes twice a day to........once a month???

Anyway, I've taken the last few months off to regroup and get some things squared away. The next few weeks will be a fun transition. I used to be very afraid of change, but now I kind of welcome it.

Since May of last year, you all may have noticed that my blogging has slowly dwindled. Sometimes we put ourselves around people that drain our creatvity and who don't motivate us. Well, that I can assure you is long over. I am back with a vengeance, a new blog address, and I want to get back to the comedic writing I did for over a year when this silly thing first started.....I am back. I guess this song sums it up.....

I Suppose It Is Time....

To actually blog in February! I have had so much going on, I will fill you in on all the details another time........

I actually can't believe this story:

HAMPTON BAYS, N.Y. - The partially mummified body of a man dead for more than a year has been found in a chair in front of his television, which was still on, authorities said.
Vincenzo Ricardo, 70, apparently died of natural causes, said Dr. Stuart Dawson, Suffolk County’s deputy chief medical examiner. Police found Ricardo’s body this week when they investigated a report of burst pipes.

Ok first of all, no neighbors got curious as to where this dude was? Secondly how did his electric and cable not get shut off from lack of payment? My cable bill goes 10 days late and I am threatened with disconnection.....

And what kind of TV did this dude own that ran for a year straight? If I were TV manufacturers, I would try to find out what beand it was and market that shit.....

Just My Luck......

  

So, I am running on the treadmill tonight next to this really cute, in shape girl. She kept looking over and smiling making eye contact with me. I would glance back and smile and this went on for like 20 minutes. I was hoping we'd finish around the same time so I could talk to her.....

Then all of a sudden this guy to my right (she was on my left) farts and stinks up the place. The cute girl's face turns green with disguist, she looks like she is going to be ill, and hops off the treadmill and leaves.

So, I am hoping she didn't think it was me......that fuck had to go and fart......

Happy Birthday! :)

To a special friend: Enjoy your day tomorrow!

Speed Dial

  

I spend a good portion of my work day on the phone. My job involves contacting companies to negotiate prices, place orders, follow up on lead times, etc. On a daily basis I come across dozens of phone messages/menus. The one I heard today cracked me up.

It said "If you are calling from a touch tone phone press one now, rotary phone customers please stay on the line or visit our website at www.________.com

Now first of all, who still has a rotary phone as their primary phone? Some dude in a trailer park in Arkansas who also still has a 13" black and white TV with rabbit ears? Does the one person in maybe 500,000 people who call from a rotary phone warrant a special instructional message?

The thing that made me laugh the most was the fact that this company actually thinks the person calling from the rotary phone also has a computer and internet access to visit their website!!!!! I doubt they are out of the ATARI 2600 stage! I just had to share this......

Just Put It In The Bag!

  

So there is this 7-11 convenience store right on the corner where my office is. Many of the employees make trips there throughout the day for drinks, snacks, etc. Every so often I will stop in there in the morning for something to eat or drink. Each time I do, this tall, lanky guy in a shirt and tie who wears glasses is behind the counter ringing people up on the register. Apparently he is the manager, or at least his name tag says he is.

Anyway, this nerdy guy has a habit of commenting on EVERYTHING each person buys. For example, if you buy a banana he will say something like "Oh a banana, someone is eating healthy. Plenty of potassium!" If you buy a pack of cookies he will say something like "Someone is eating bad today, but these are gooooood!" It is the wackiest thing I have ever seen or heard. I thought perhaps it was just done to me, but others at work recently told me this guy does the same thing to them. This makes me want to screw with this guy.

I want to go up to the counter with some Preparation-H and see what he says. "Oooh, someone's ass is hurting!" Or how about a box of condoms? "Ooooh, someone is gonna get laid tonight!" Or perhaps a Massegil. "OOOOH, someone is not feeling so fresh!" I mean this guy is in the habit of commenting on everything, I doubt he will stop at a douche.

I never see anyone stocking the store shelves at a 7-11. How the hell does the stuff get on the shelves???? Does a pack of gum automatically restock itself when you take one off the shelf?

Also, these stores are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, on holidays...yet there are locks on the doors....why?

The thing I like most about the convenience store is the handy height measurer/ruler on the front doors. This is to get an accurate height of someone who robbed the store as he runs out..... in case you are a witness. I don't know about you, but if I just had a gun pointed at my head at 3am when I am on line for a little debbie snack cake, the last thing I am going to be thinking is "wow, that dude is 5'11, about 175lbs, and was in excellent shape....and where can I get a ski mask like that" The first thing I will be thinking when he leaves is "where is the closest bathroom, I need take off the underwear that I just shit in?"

A New Year Is Upon Us

  

Happy New Year to all! It is only a couple of days into 2007 and I am tired of hearing "Happy New Year" from people already. Ok, fuckers, we get it...it is a New Year!

Anyway, the weekend was amazing, actually last week was amazing. For starters, DON'T see the "new" Rocky movie. It was pretty bad. Caren and I saw it last Wednesday. It was pitiful in many ways.

Thursday Night Caren brought over a great Christmas gift for me. She got ma a really cool karaoke machine. It is not your ordinary karaoke machine. This thing has a camera on it and plugs into the tv where you can video and tape your "performances." We had dinner with Joe and Christina, drank wine and sang all night on Thursday.

Friday night was my "take down the Christmas tree" night and get the house cleaned. Shortly after Saddam hanging and the tree going back in the attic, I passed out for the night. By that night, I knew New Years was being relocated to my house, aka, "club 69" rather than the Sugar V's place. We had a bunch of people coming, so my place would be a bit more roomy.

Saturday I food shopped and got all the New Years decorations and stuff. I hopped a 4pm train to NYC and met up with Caren for our Saturday Night adventure. It has become such a great ritual for us. I think we have gone in like 8 out of the last 9 weeks. We dined at a great little Italian place on 33rd and 3rd. The food, the wine, and the atmosphere was amazing. We then ventured down to Union Square to find an additional microphone and some karaoke cd's for the machine for New Years Eve. We then walked up to Times Square where the New Years ball was being tested. We mowed our way through the crowd to catch a glimpse. After 20 minutes of being caught in a stampede, we hooked a left onto 46th and then another left on 8th. We walked 8th until we found a little dive bar called "Walter's" We had a few drinks and relaxed until we caught our train. There was definitely a colorful character or two in that bar......

Sunday, New Years Eve day, I cleaned and decorated the house and got ready for the night ahead. Sugar V and Mrs. Sugar V were coming, along with Joe and Christina, Caren, Christine, Rich, and our buddy Mario from across the street. Everyone arrived around 7pm. We ate some great food, chatted, and started drinking. By 8:30 karaoke was in full swing.

We had a spotlight, a disco ball, a ton of music, and that karaoke machine. We sang all night. It was insane. Sugar V cracked us up with his singing, Mario sang Italian songs, we all took turns and laughed our asses off. The booze was flowing, and the house was a looney bin. I even rolled on the ground and sang "Like a Virgin."

We had a nice toast and made our rounds when the ball dropped and wished each other a happy new year. It was great to be in the company of people I cherish so much. Shortly after 12, the karaooke machine was back on and in full swing. By 2am, people were dropping like flies. Rumor has it (and shoe scuff marks) that Christina was sleeping, or napping in my bathtub. Rich passed out on the couch, Christine was getting drowsy, and I was throwing up after 4 bottles of champagne. My house was pretty much a complete mess......

Christine stayed over in the guest room, Rich on the couch, and Caren with me. Everyone else ventured home after a while. I woke up with a bad hangover and a messy house, throw up (from Rich) on my bathroom rug, and so many other wacky things all over the house. We finally got up at 1pm. Rich was gone. Caren, Christine, and I met up with Sugar V and the Mrs. at the diner. We had lunch and headed back to my house. We hung out until 7pm or so. I had such a great time.....

It is Tuesday Night and I finally got my house back to normal. Everything is mopped, washed, cleaned, sanitized, etc. All my holiday decor is down, and I am ready for summer! :)

That's my New Years in a nutshell. I am glad 2007 got off to such a great start. I have a few "resolutions" but they are more like things I need to do to make life better, so they will be done. I am just so thankful for the great friends I have. I am lucky. I am thankful for Caren. She really balances me out. When I get nuts about silly things, she has a way to calm me down and be a voice of reason. I have learned a lot from her and love our experiences together. I feel as though we have built a great foundation over the last few months and she is just so great.

How was YOUR New Years???????

Post Christmas Post.....

  

Ok, so I think this picture I took on the train Saturday Night is hysterical. Two girls (you can only see one) drinking (or in this case, holding) Red Bulls, completely passed out. I am sure the Red Bull competitors would love to use this pic. This is my kind of humor, for sure.

So Christmas was good, but quiet. Weird with the family so far away, but still a nice holiday, complete with cooking and friends. I made a ton of food. Baked Ziti, homemade sauce, meatballs, sausage (Sugar V's favorite), and Bracciole, for Christmas Day. Christmas Eve I cooked flounder. I had to keep the tradition going. Not to mention all the Italian cold cuts, cheeses, breads, pastries, and cookies I waited so patiently in line for on Sunday.

Thursday Night I am having Caren over along with Christina and Joe for dinner. I have a tray of ziti and a ton of meat left that I froze. We will be sure to have a post holiday feast. I wish Sugar V and the Mrs. were in NY to share it, but they are off In Chitown.....we miss them!

So, for New Years, I am NOT having a party at my house for the first time in a while. Sugar V is having Caren and I over...and maybe a few others. It is sure to be a fun night. I am looking forward to it. Even more so than I was looking forward to Christmas. There's nothing like starting the New Year off with the people you really care about. And a kiss from Caren at the stroke of midnight won't hurt either. :)

I was flipping around the channels early yesterday and I can't believe they still show the "yule log" on TV. What a mess that thing is. You seriously have to be hard pressed for something to "watch" to put that on.....

Is it me, or are you tired of holiday music? If I hear one more Christmas song, I may snap. I seriously had to play gangsta rap in the car today to get all the holiday "cheer" out of my system. I can now go back to being the cynical bastard I am the rest of the year......

The city was great on Saturday Night. It felt like a mid-October night rather than the day before Christmas Eve. Caren and I walked the city and loved every minute of it. We found some cool gifts for Sugar V and the Mrs., to give them on New Years Eve. We tried a new restaurant in Little Italy, we liked it, but missed Vincents. We had dessert at Ferrara's, got me a "Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey T-Shirt" at a novelty store in Little Italy, then found a place that sold designer handbags and stopped in. We were led to a secret back door in the back of the building where there were dozens of Gucci, Prada, and other designer bags. I am sure these were hijacked off a truck or a plane, but the price was good, so Caren got a bag and a wallet. That made her night for sure.......

So, how was your Christmas...and what is everyone doing for New Years?????

My 100 Memories of 2006

  

With 2006 winding down and many networks airing their end of year specials such as "The Most Fascinating People Of 2006" or "Big in '06", I decided to make a list of 100 memories that will forever remind me of 2006. So here goes, in totally random order:



1) "Ridin' Dirty"
2) Club 69
3) Carpooling with Christina
4) Fall/Early Winter NYC visits
5) My job (started it in January)
6) Caren
7) Christmas in August
8) The infamous block party
9) The Cinco De Mayo "housewarming" party
10) A great Memorial Weekend
11) Christina, Joe, and their boat "Floater"
12) Tiny A
13) The Tube Music Network
14) Melky Cabrera's catch on 6/6/06
15) The Boston Massacre in late August (5 game sweep in Boston)
16) Sugar V clearing out my New Years party
17) Eleanor Rigby's Bar
18) T-Unit
19) The famous Pizza Night at club 69
20) Mario!!!!!
21) Being called "Scotty" for 2 months
22) Fourth of July weekend in Mineola
23) Frosty Paws
24) Bruce dressed as a pimp
25) Happy Hours at Tiki Bar
26) The "Shady" Hat
27) Coney Island/Brooklyn Cyclones Game
28) 10 Cent Wing Nights
29) Taco Tuesdays!
30) Kettle One
31) Friday BBQ's at work
32) The Bodies Exhibit in NYC
33) Little Italy with Caren
34) A full house on Thanksgiving
35) February 15th, not the 14th (haha)
36) Walking the trails at Sands Point
37) Uncle Louie G's Ices!
38) Labor Day Party at T-Unit's
39) Moving Day
40) Singing "Sweet Caroline" to the LB cops
41) TV Show Theme Song Night
42) Democrats sweep election day
43) Softball at Jones Beach
44) The Disco Outfit
45) "Front Row" at Yankee Stadium
46) Cooking Day with Tiny A (Gnocci (her) and Eggplant (me))
47) Drunk Dennis across the street
48) Churchill's on a special playoff football Sunday in January
49) The "Beach Necklace" found at fashion stores
50) Pushing Christina's Car to work on a 90 degree day
51) The "Kool Aid Car"
52) The "After Happy Hour" party at club 69
53) Beer Pong
54) The Thusday Night after work party at club 69 in August
55) Peppermint Hot Chocolate with Tiny A
56) Beer Olympics
57) "Snap Yo' Fingers"
58) Linda and Liz
59) Insane gas prices
60) "Otto"
61) "Lucky Louie" on HBO
62) "If you like my meatballs, you'll love my sausage" great shirt Sugar V
63) Dogsitting
64) Deal, or No Deal???
65) Booing A-Rod
66) Movie Night at work
67) Strawberry Fields
68) "You're Makin' Me Craaaazy" (song sticks in my head)
69) "Crime Scene" Night with Caren
70) Kerry's Birthday Party at The Inn
71) Ghetto rigged air conditioner
72) Pumpkin pies
73) Ballybannon
74) One minute walks to the beach
75) The white pig chalkboard
76) Pettitte coming back to NY
77) Sinatra, a fireplace, and a dance
78) Superbowl Sunday with Amester and Brucey
79) Dublin Mudslide and Black N Tan Ice Cream
80) Singing to the trucking company at work
81) Greg's Wall of Quotes
82) Meeting Sugar V's rat in Park Slope
83) A Faulty Gas Burner
84) The front room
85) Saving the parking spot!
86) Bad cell phone reception
87) Matisyahu
88) Greg's Laugh at lunchtime
89) My family moving
90) The 1:07am train
91) 20+ Police visits to club 69
92) Jackass 2
93) Flintstoning Linda's Car
94) Caveman chats with Sugar V
95) Running the boardwalk
96) Falling head first into Sugar V's bathtub
97) Jeter being robbed of the MVP award
98) Doug K and I working together again
99) Talking to my sister again
100) Wishing and hoping 2007 is my best year yet!

Johnny Come Out To Play...In Your Empty Garden

  

What happened here, as the New York sunset disappeared? I found an empty garden among the flagstones there. Who lived here? He must have been a gardener that cared a
lot, who weeded out the tears and grew a good crop...and now it all looks strange.


Today the Grammy nominations were announced. Big deal. The state of the music industry is a complete joke. Fly by night artists, with fly by night cd's who won't be remembered five months from now, let alone five years from now. It makes a day to remember John Lennon, on this twenty-sixth anniversary of his murder, even that much more special.

I grew up brainwashed by the media, and even by my Dad, in thinking Elvis was "The King." I completely disagree with that "logic." We have a bunch of Elvises walking around the music industry today...pretty boys, with pretty hair, who are handed pretty songs to sing. Commercialized crap, if you ask me. The Beatles, now they were the "kings." They were the innovaters. They took music to a whole different level, and rock and roll was forever changed.

So tonight, as I sit in my room, sipping red wine, listening to John Lennon, remembering how truly great he was, I am so appreciative of what he gave us. What he left behind for generations to come.

Rather than leave you all with a classic from John or the Beatles, I want to leave you with a song that George Harrison wrote about his friend John shortly after his death. It is called "All Those Years Ago." If you know the song, you'll appreciate the words and probably sing along. If you don't know it, really listen to what George says about John, in this fantastic tribute to a great artist. I will be at Strawberry Fields tonight, braving wind chills in the teens to pay my respects and remember one of the best of all time.

"Band On The Run"

  

Those of you who know me well, know that I could talk music for days on end. I love the stories behind albums, songs, and musical artists. In the spirit of The Beatles and of the anniversary of John Lennon's death this coming Friday, I am in a musical mood. I heard today that "Band on the Run" the solo album by Paul McCartney was released on this day in 1973. Although I was a baby, I can honestly remember hearing these songs when I was a toddler. The album really took off in the summer of '74, when I was three, so I guess it is possible to remember back that far.

What is so amazing about this album? The events leading up to it's release. In September of '73 Paul decided to take the band to civil war torn Nigeria to record the album. Paul, his wife Linda, and the other band members arrived in Lagos Nigeria to record the album. Right before its production, two band members walked out in fear of their lives. Paul, Linda, and one band member carried on despite the turmoil. After the demo tapes were done, Paul and the band were robbed by armed bandits who stole their demo tapes, cameras, wallets, jewelry, etc.

So what did Paul do? The genius that he is, said no problem, and remembered everything he recorded in his head. He then went on to record the album all over again in a decaying studio. Despite these hardships, perhaps because of them, Band on the Run remains the most focused and consistently satisfying record of McCartney's post-Beatles career. So in the spirit of Paul, and December 5th, 1973, its release date, let's all watch "Band On the Run."