Just Put It In The Bag!

  

So there is this 7-11 convenience store right on the corner where my office is. Many of the employees make trips there throughout the day for drinks, snacks, etc. Every so often I will stop in there in the morning for something to eat or drink. Each time I do, this tall, lanky guy in a shirt and tie who wears glasses is behind the counter ringing people up on the register. Apparently he is the manager, or at least his name tag says he is.

Anyway, this nerdy guy has a habit of commenting on EVERYTHING each person buys. For example, if you buy a banana he will say something like "Oh a banana, someone is eating healthy. Plenty of potassium!" If you buy a pack of cookies he will say something like "Someone is eating bad today, but these are gooooood!" It is the wackiest thing I have ever seen or heard. I thought perhaps it was just done to me, but others at work recently told me this guy does the same thing to them. This makes me want to screw with this guy.

I want to go up to the counter with some Preparation-H and see what he says. "Oooh, someone's ass is hurting!" Or how about a box of condoms? "Ooooh, someone is gonna get laid tonight!" Or perhaps a Massegil. "OOOOH, someone is not feeling so fresh!" I mean this guy is in the habit of commenting on everything, I doubt he will stop at a douche.

I never see anyone stocking the store shelves at a 7-11. How the hell does the stuff get on the shelves???? Does a pack of gum automatically restock itself when you take one off the shelf?

Also, these stores are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, on holidays...yet there are locks on the doors....why?

The thing I like most about the convenience store is the handy height measurer/ruler on the front doors. This is to get an accurate height of someone who robbed the store as he runs out..... in case you are a witness. I don't know about you, but if I just had a gun pointed at my head at 3am when I am on line for a little debbie snack cake, the last thing I am going to be thinking is "wow, that dude is 5'11, about 175lbs, and was in excellent shape....and where can I get a ski mask like that" The first thing I will be thinking when he leaves is "where is the closest bathroom, I need take off the underwear that I just shit in?"