When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful,
a miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical. All the birds in the trees, well they'd be singing so happily, joyfully, playfully watching me. But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible, logical, responsible, practical. And they showed me a world where I could be so dependable, clinical, intellectual, cynical. There are times when all the world's asleep,
the questions run too deep for such a simple man.
Every morning on my drive to work, I see the same things, because I am very regimented and leave the house at the same time each day. I see the same 30 something year old woman jogging along the Wantagh Parkway, rain or shine. I see the same Burgundy Jeep Liberty with the NY Yankee plates and the LA Lakers bumper sticker in the back window. I also see the same crossing guard in front of MacArthur High School. I have a problem with this lady. First of all she has to be 70 years old, and moves slower than a fucking turtle. Secondly, she has eyeglasses so thick, she can probably see Saturn and all of its moons. How are we trusting kids to cross the street directed by this lady? This morning it was drizzling and foggy, and she is wiping off the Hubble telescope (aka her eyeglasses) while she is walking with these kids. We may as well have Stevie Wonder at that intersection...at least he'd have a fucking seeing eye dog.....
I only watch a few shows a week on television. Most nights, I find myself reading online, listening to music, writing on this silly blog, or keeping busy in the house. Monday Nights I have no shows to watch, but like to chill and channel surf. I just bought a new 37" HD LCD wide screen TV last weekend, so that has peaked my interest a bit more in television.
So tonight, I was all ready to relax and flip around the channels...when I realized the "State of the Union" is on like every channel tonight. I say to President Douche Bag, why even bother? Get to bed early by wrapping it up in two words "IT SUCKS!" That about describes the state of our union. The only saving grace...this is the LAST time this asshole will be delivering this speech!!!!! Just like the old TV show..."EIGHT IS ENOUGH!!!!!" Although, one was enough for me from this guy......
Want to make this speech fun tonight??? Make it ten cent beer night and bring in the 5,000 fans that sit in the Yankee Stadium bleachers. I want to see booing, heckling, the throwing of objects at the podium, a Monica Seles stabbing of Dick Cheney, a little organ music, now that's worth the hour of viewing time.
This whole Presidential Campaign has sucked. I've watched every debate...and quite honestly....we are fucked!!!!!! Seriously people, we are fucked! Whoever thinks ANY of these candidates is going to bring about the change we so desperately need, you better hit the snooze button and go back to sleep...it is not happening.
I have never voted Republican, nor will I ever. But are these registered Republicans hitting the pipe???????? McCain???? Are you fucking joking????? The guy is old and out of touch. Vietnam ended 30+ years ago, stop playing the POW card. Nobody cares anymore. I didn't care that Kerry was aboard a swift boat back in the 2004 race...and I certainly don't care about your POW dilemma 30 years ago..we have bigger issues.
Huckabee?????? Yeah, just what we need another religious nut.....8 years was enough of that.
Giuliani?? All I can do is laugh. Bratton cleans up the crime in NYC and this guy takes all the credit......9/11 never happens...this guy is selling cars in Brooklyn right now.....
Romney??? Enough said!
Democrats. Obama???? All sizzle and no steak. He is happy because the old drunk fuck Ted Kennedy endorsed him today? Yeah, that means a lot. Obama has no experience, a shady past, and he flip flops on every issue. Great speaker, but it ends there. I get inspired for about 2 minutes, until I realize how full of shit he is.
Hillary? I don't think SHE believes a word SHE says. I think she just says what she thinks everyone wants to hear and believes none of it. Sure, I'd take Clinton over the asshole we have now....but that's not saying much. Bill was supposed to be that "man of change" that he ran on in 1992. I was never so excited and happy over an election. I thought he was so inspiring...and what did he do....he never lived up to what he was capable of because of his personal issues and demons.
Edwards. Probably the best of the bunch...but if he tells those fucking "father working in the mill" stories one more time, I will snap. Come up with some new material already. He says the same three stories over and over...dad in the mill...the girl who died because the insurance company wouldn't pay for her operation, and about the 200,000 veterans sleeping on streets and on grates tonight. ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Face it people....unless the exhume Bobby Kennedy, FDR, or Truman, we are fucked.
Jen's Dad sent me this, turns out this guy is a legend on YOUTUBE! I laughed so hard over this I seriously cried. If you are watching from work...watch your volume, he curses a lot......
Monday, January 21, 2008
“There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why... I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?”-Robert Kennedy
Selling out refers to the compromising of one's integrity, morality and principles in exchange for money, 'success' or other personal gain. It is commonly associated with attempts to increase mass appeal or acceptability to mainstream society. A person who does this, as opposed to following the original path s/he laid (or claimed to lay) out for him/herself, is labeled a sellout and regarded with disgust and immediate loss of respect. Selling out is seen as gaining success at the cost of credibility.
I can be called a lot of things. Cynical, moody, jaded, impatient, sarcastic, and intense are just a few. I would agree with all of those. A sell out, never! For those of you who really know me, you know that I am a person who is passionate about what I believe in and would never stray from my convictions for personal gain. People who do that really bother me.....and I see it daily, whether it be on the news or in my day to day dealings. Being a "sell out" is what's wrong with the world, and what's especially wrong in America.
Politicians sell out for campaign contributions/favors/etc. They put the best interests of the people they are supposed to represent after their own personal gain and success. You see it every day. Selling out is the reason we still depend on foreign oil, the reason our infrastructure is crumbling, the reason we have a shitty health care system, I could go on and on.
This week, I was faced with a tough decision at my job. Rather than agree to a position within the company where I had the potential to make an additional $20-$25k per year, I chose to remain where I am. The reason, I wasn't going to sell out. The person/people I would have been working for/with I genuinely don't like. I don't like their approach to business, the way they treat others... both personally and professionally, and quite honestly...their character. The industry I work in is large...but in the same sense, it is small. You always run into someone who knows someone you know, etc. And, despite a very big financial gain personally if I had accepted this position....I did not want my name to be associated with theirs. I don't want to run into someone a year from now, when perhaps I am seeking employment elsewhere, who associates me with them. My name and my character are more important than $25k. I am at peace with my decision. I'll leave you with this:
Now if you're feelin' kinda low 'bout the dues you've been paying Future's coming much too slow And you wanna run but somehow you just keep on stayin' Can't decide on which way to go
I understand about indecision But I don't care if I get behind People livin' in competition All I want is to have my peace of mind.
Now you're climbin' to the top of the company ladder Hope it doesn't take too long Can't you see there'll come a day when it won't matter? Come a day when you'll be gone
I understand about indecision But I don't care if I get behind People livin' in competition All I want is to have my peace of mind.
Take a look ahead, take a look ahead
Now everybody's got advice they just keep on givin' Doesn't mean too much to me Lot's of people out to make believe they're livin' Can't decide who they should be.
I understand about indecision But I don't care if I get behind People livin' in competition All I want is to have my peace of mind.
No not today's GIANT upsets in the NFL! The Sunday Classic we all came to love and enjoy years ago. American Top 40 with Kasey Kasem!
Do you remember waking up and knowing it was Sunday morning because you would roll over, push the on button on your "boombox" radio and there was Kasey Kasem saying, "Now, on with the countdown." Where was your favorite song going to end up? Did Madonna make it to number one again? The suspense was just too much some weeks.
Well, after sleeping in late and watching my Sunday Morning political shows "Meet the Press" and the McLaughlin Group in bed with Jen, we ventured into the living room and kitchen to prepare breakfast. As Jen sliced fruit for our fruit salad and I toasted a bagel and set the table, I flipped on the XM Satellite radio that Jen bought me for Christmas...and to our surprise, Kasey Kasem was just starting the top 40 countdown. They play the actual countdowns from when they aired. Today's was the second week of January, 1983. As we sat and ate breakfast, it brought back soooooo many memories. I mean Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean" just breaking the top 40 at number 37! Who knew how big that song would be and how it would propel "Thriller" into one of the best selling albums in history? It was surely a trip down memory lane.
I remember listening to those countdowns with my sister and brother each week. We'd have our "blank cassettes" loaded in the cassette decks of our radios to start recording a song we "didn't have on tape" yet. You could get a bunch of good ones from those countdowns...even if Kasey talked through the opening line of the song....
I can also remember being upset when a song I didn't like made it to #1! I remember Kenny Roger's song "Lady" being number one for something like 10 or 12 straight weeks....and I wasn't a fan of him or that song.....and I would be upset that he blocked one of my favorite songs from being number one......if only that were all I had to worry about these days.....
Hearing the countdown this morning brought back memories while Jen and I shared childhood stories as we had breakfast. It was definitely a treat.
So tonight, "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars".
As I sit here at 9:51PM on Sunday January 6th, 2008 with "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd blasting into my ears from my IPOD....I realize that the holidays are over and we all have a 90 day battle against winter ahead of us. Some call it the "post holiday blues" being that we really have "nothing to look forward to" until Spring...especially if you live in a region of the country where it snows/it is cold.
I truly take this time each year to focus on things. I probably run/exercise the most and eat the healthiest from January-March each year. Although the treadmill is a complete bore compared to running on the beach/boardwalk...I find inspiration in seeing the determination of others at the gym. On the boardwalk or beach, you run past someone or they run past you...and you really don't get to see their efforts, or struggle if you will. When you spend 60 minutes running 2 feet away from someone else....you quietly inspire one another.
Coming down from the high of the holidays is tough on a lot of people....my advice....spend this "down time" getting your "house" in order...so that come the Spring...when "hibernation" is over, you'll be at your finest both mentally and physically. Spring isn't as far away as everyone may think...time goes rather quickly...make the most of it!
If there's one thing I really hate, it is small talk. I hate running into someone at the store that maybe I know...or in some cases someone that I have never met before and small talking. Or as Larry David calls it "The stop and chat."
It usually consists of the same talking points:
1) The weather. Suddenly everyone is a fucking meteorologist. Or they say something obvious like, "It's cold out there!!!!" Or even better "Is it cold enough for you???" Fuck off Al Roker, I just want to check out and get my groceries home. If I want the 5 day forecast, I will put on the Weather Channel....and get the local forecast on the 8's.
2) The family. The concern people all of a sudden have."How's Mom???" If you want to know how Mom is, fucking call her you cheap minute rationing fuck. "How's Mom???" And it is always the generic "She is good" or "Fine" answer. Never "She is still a crazy ass who is driving us all into alcoholism." No, we give the generic answer...so what's the point??????
3) Work. "How's work/your job going????" Like what am I supposed to say...that it blows...that I am underpaid, work too many hours, get no lunch break, and work with a bunch of fucking idiots????? Or they ask..."Still at the same job?????" No asshole, didn't you see me on the news, I cured cancer last week, right after I got all of the Jerry's kids to walk.
4) Inquiring about a mutual friend/neighbor. "Have you seen/talked to Joe lately??" No, and there is a reason, he is a douche bag.....same reason I haven't talked to you in 2 years fucko.
5) Where you are living. "Still living in (enter town name here)?????" No asshole, I live in Memphis now, but the produce here is so good, I make the trip on Saturday afternoons and knock out my weekly shopping...then turn around and head back.
So, if you spot me in a store, or anywhere...you better have something interesting to talk about or ask!!!!!
As you all know, I loooooooove music. So here in the age of YOUTUBE, I decided to post my top 10 songs of 2007 right here on my blog, complete with video. ENJOY!!!
It really seems like it was just a few months ago that I wrote my "100 Memories of 2006" blog...yet here I am writing my memories of 2007 blog. Tonight, I am reflecting on where I was in life a year ago compared to tonight. I am so much happier and content...so in no particular order, here are my 100 memories of 2007!
01) Meeting Jen 02) "Excuse me, were you sayin something? Uh Uh You can't tell me NUTHIN!!!" 03) Club 69 Finale Party 04) Moving to 33 Ohio 05) Moving out of 33 Ohio 06) Moving back to W. Fulton 07) Fine dining in the back of a Ryder truck 08) "My drink and my two step" 09) A roller coaster Yankee season 10) The Islanders making the playoffs on the last day of the regular season 11) Seeing Bruce Springsteen at MSG (yet again) 12) Seeing Larry David, live and in person 13) Playing volleyball in the rain on July 4th 14) My NIKE PLUS Gizmo 15) Losing my cell phone (what a nightmare, haha) 16) Friday Nights in the Summer at the Saloon with Jen 16) Our trip to NC 17) Tiny A's Tiki Party 18) Club 69's President's Weekend Bash (insanity) 19) Saturday Night drives to Jen's house 20) Sunday Morning Farmer's market this summer/fall 21) Bialys!!!! 22) Homemade waffles! 23) Memorial Day party at "Deck 33" 24) Labor Day party at "Deck 33" 25) Annoying Roommates! (good riddance!!!!) 26) Dropping Bruce off at Jackie's each morning 27) St. Patrick's Day in LB with Tiny A and a random group of folks! 28) Van Halen reunion concert 29) Yankee Game with Jen 30) A bad hangover on New Years Day 2007 31) Ice storm on Valentine's Day 32) Snow storm the night before St. Patrick's Day 33) Sitting on the beach with Jen 34) Bruce jumping in the fish pond 35) "Party Like a Rock Star" 36) Christina leaving our office 37) Christina and Joe's 7-7-07 bash! 38) Sugar V staggering to his car after a night of drinking at the saloon 39) New York Sports Club 40) eHarmony 41) Making lots of commission! 42) Hiring Kim at work 43) Bruce's "surprise" on Christmas Morning 44) Soulja Boy Dance 45) On the boat with Christina, Joe, and Jen 46) Bribing the Maître de at Sparks Steak House and cutting a 2 hour long line 47) Asking a fat guy that almost ran me over if he really needed that bagel 48) A wonderful Christmas and Christmas season 49) AAAAAAAAAALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICEEEEEEEEEE! (Jen's cat) 50) Kanye West (kick ass album this year) 51) Traffic on the Van Wyck (no matter what time/day) 52) Vegan cookies (not bad at all!!!) 53) "The First 48" 54) PATRON!!!!!!! 55) Phil vomiting in my house, yuck! 56) Trying to get Christina to dance with "Sonny Bono" (hahaha) 57) Our holiday NYC day with Kim and Didar 58) REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!! 59) Beach Bagel 60) Music "that isn't native to this planet" played by my former roommate 61) Jackson Heights 62) My Storage Unit 63) Dog Hair all over my car (thanks Bruce) 64) YOUTUBE Debates 65) The Berkowitz car (haha) 66) Trico and Munzey (Jackie's Dogs) 67) Ralph's Ices! (I think I tried every flavor!!) 68) The Soprano's Finale 69) Kettle One and OJ! 70) Making homemade pizzas with Jen 71) "Kitchen Nightmares" 72) Tuesday Nights 73) The Imaginary "Curtain Girl" hahaha 74) The Mets September Collapse 75) XM satellite Radio 76) Driving the 2007 Charger to NC (and making it in 8 hours!) 77) Ipod radios, fancy fans, ottomans, and other home improvements in JH! (haha) 78) Turning Christmas songs dirty (haha) 79) The "Beach House" 80) Eating at every restaurant in the West End 81) Bruce barking at the Atlantic Beach Bridge toll collectors 82) Season 7 of Curb Your Enthusiasm 83) NIKE Challenges 84) Vitamin water! 85) The $500 Vet bill! 86) C-Town 87) Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???? 88) Bruce watching Jen walk up the street from the deck and going crazy 89) Sugar V going into hiding like Salmon Rushdie 90) Clock that makes "cricket" sounds 91) "You can't get out of your own way" 92) Controlling the jukebox for 3 hours at "Happy Hour" 93) The Red Sox winning the World Series again (WTF????) 94) Clemens on 'roids!!!!! 95) Hurting my back in September (ouch) 96) Mullet guy test driving my car after inspection 97) "WHO IS THIS GUY??????" 98) "MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANWHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILE!!!!!" 99) Faaaaancy new digital camera 100) Wishing you all an amazing 2008!!!!!
I hope everyone had an amazing holiday! Mine was the best in a very long time. I am back at the office as we speak....yuck...but it should be a slow week with a chance to catch up on some things here and prepare for the rush after the New Year.
The weekend was full of holiday preparations....not gift shopping, Jen and I finished that a long time ago...this weekend we had a lot of food shopping to do. I hosted my first Christmas Eve ever. With my family living so far away, I tried to carry on some of the Italian traditions. Jen, her mom, her dad, and her brother all came over. Jen and I made flounder, baked clams, and a great pasta dish with veggies, garlic and olive oil. After eating all that...including the shrimp Jen's parents brought over...we sat for a while chatting, laughing, and telling stories. About 90 minutes later....Jen and I put out all the Italian cheeses, olives, cold cuts, and breads. That's my favorite part of Christmas Eve! :) About an hour after that came the cannolis, pastries, cookies, etc. Needless to say, I had a food hangover when I woke up Christmas Morning.
Jen and I exchanged our gifts Christmas Eve after her family left. I got such amazing/thoughtful gifts including a great digital camera, XM satellite radio (with ability to use it home/in the car/at the office), great stuff for my new apartment, colognes, dvd's (I now have seasons 1-8 of Seinfeld...1 more season and I have the whole set!), and so much more. I was really overwhelmed by everything she did for me. I was so glad she enjoyed her gifts as well. One of her gifts was a Kitchen Aid artisan mixer. She had wanted that for a while, and since she loves to cook and bake, I thought it would be perfect.
Christmas Day, Jen, Bruce, and I ventured out to Eastern Long Island to spend it with her family. We had a great dinner...lasagna, one of my favorites...and turkey, stuffing, and a ton of other things. We had such a great day/night. It was 46 degrees here yesterday.....which is very warm for December 25th....so Bruce played outside for a bit, but was more interested in what we were doing inside. This picture cracks me up. He hopped up on an outdoor patio table so he could watch us unwrap gifts...he always thinks he is missing something.....
Today seems to be endorsement day. The Des Moines register endorsed Hillary on the Democratic side and John McCain on the Republican side, while The Boston Globe endorsed Obama and McCain.
With Oprah hitting the campaign trail for Mr. Obama, Barbara Streisand stomping for Hillary, and martial arts pro/actor Chuck Norris endorsing Mike Huckabee, I sit here and wonder if it really matters who endorses who. If somebody is in the voting booth undecided and remembers seeing Oprah with Obama and casts a vote for him based on that, we have bigger issues than I thought we had.
Here are some more celebrity endorsements for the 2008 run:
Home Improvement "King" Bob Villa has endorsed Hillary Clinton Actors Tim Robbins and Kevin Bacon have endorsed John Edwards. Baseball player Curt Schilling has endorsed John McCain Folk Singer Ani DiFranco has endorsed Dennis Kucinich Steven Spielberg has endorsed Hillary Sean Penn has endorsed Dennis Kucinich
In the spirit of things, here is my endorsement.
John Edwards. Here's why. First, I'd NEVER vote Republican, so that knocks all those candidates out. On the Democratic side, Hillary is too polarizing and in my opinion, not sincere and genuine. I think she says what she thinks will be popular rather than what she really believes in. Obama is a 1st term Senator with no experience whatsoever. A year after being elected to the Senate he eyed this 2008 run. I think he needs more time building his resume. Although I really believe in what Dennis Kucinich has to say, he is too "out there". Joe Biden and Chris Dodd are good lawmakers, but not presidential in my opinion. Bill Richardson is a phony who couldn't get out of his own way as energy secretary.
I like Edwards. He is genuine, compassionate, has a plan, and could unite the country once again. His focus on poverty and his compassion for the poor reminds me a lot of Bobby Kennedy. I like his stand on health care, the environment, and the war in Iraq. So, come primary time, he will be getting my vote.
Not sure about you, but over the years I've grown to dislike this time of the year. People really have forgotten what the holiday is all about. I am by no means religious, I am talking about family. My fondest holiday memories are of my childhood when my family was somewhat "functional" and normal. My grandparents really made the holidays what they were. After they passed, it was all downhill....but I think it is more than that.
As a child, we were all naive, and didn't know/realize how fucked up the world really was. We thought about Santa, candy canes, and toys. As adults, the holidays are about hustling, shopping, fighting crowds, and having Holiday music jammed down our throats from September through the New Year. I used to think people were sick fucks for being at a store/mall at 6am the day after Thanksgiving...now some open at midnight, some at 4am.....it is pure fucking greed. Months of stress, chipmunk music, traffic, and digging through the attic for old decorations...all to have it all over in a few hours. Is it worth it?
People flock to the Rockefeller center Christmas tree each year here in NY...but it is the same fucking tree year after year. Sure...the tree is from a different place each year...but it looks the same each year.....do something different! Amuse me. Make it worth the trip.
That's why summer holidays rock. No gift giving, no Hallmark telling me what I have to do, no slaving in the kitchen cooking enormous meals, no dealing with dysfuntional family members......just the beach, booze, a bbq, some fireworks, and relaxation. That's a fucking holiday.
Does a bunch of trick or treaters REFUSE candy because it is not Kosher! Can you believe this shit?????? Perhaps I should have stocked up on Passover Candy last spring.......
Maybe next year I will have a Christian bowl, a Hindu bowl, a Muslim bowl, and a Kosher bowl of candy ready for Halloween. I think it is time to move to a red state....
There are some truly sick people in the world. I think I may have come in contact with one of the craziest of them all, "the death recycler".
Ok, let's start from the beginning. Back in early June my company hired this new girl...we'll call her "J" for short. According to the bosses, J seemed to be qualified for the job. She started with he company and seemed to be grasping the job at hand.
Within two weeks, J had called in sick a few times. Ok, things happen, right? Within a month, she had taken about eight sick days. That should have been a huge red flag. But, the owners let her stay and before you knew it, we were well into July.
Then on a Monday, J calls and says she had an "accident" over the weekend and that she would be out for a few days. She ended up being out for the week. The following Monday, J comes in on crutches, with her left foot/ankle wrapped in an ace bandage and her right wrist/hand wrapped in one as well. We were all like "wow, she must really be hurt!" But then, I started to get a little suspicious. On Tuesday..the crutches disappeared, then on Wednesday the foot wrap vanished....by Thursday the hand wrap was gone. I also noticed her climb on a desk to write something on a dry erase board with ease...showing no signs of pain.....but like everything else...they let that go too.
Then the "my mother is in the hospital" days off started. Sometimes upwards of 3-4 days out a week through August and September. During that period, she went in one of the owner's offices crying that she had no money for food, that she was helping with her mom's medical bills. So, he gives her $100. Now, if you were BROKE and someone gave you $100 for food, wouldn't you buy tons of cheap stuff? Boxes of mac n' cheese, soups, etc? Nope, she goes out and buys a HUGE bag of shrimp. The shrimps were bigger than my shoe....must have been a $40 bag...and has the balls to bring them into work.
So, the spotty days off continued through September and October. Two fridays ago, she shows up at 7:40am. Keep in mind..I am always the only person in the building between 7:30 and 8:30am daily. This girl is due in at 8:30 daily and is never on time. Anyway....she engages me in conversation...small talk...and in passing she says...."my mom died last night." I was shocked and went out of my way to show compassion and concern. She said it very casually. She worked until 10am that morning..until the paychecks were passed out and then took off. I thought that was strange. The girl is out four days a week to "care for her mom" then when she "dies" she shows up for work.....
Monday comes and we called her to find out where the funeral was, as we wanted to take up a collection and send flowers. A day passes and she calls back and says "Oh, don't bother the funeral is in NJ in the neighborhood where she grew up." We were like, it is ok, we'll call 1-800-flowers...they deliver everywhere. She completely avoided giving us the funeral home name/address. So, we pressed her on it and she finally said by email, "In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to ____ _____ church in Glen Cove, NY. She gave a priest's name there. So, when we called the church, the priest had no idea what we were talking about. Could she have lied about her mom's death?
I think she recycled that death. I believe her mom passed years ago, yet she used an "illness" for weeks to get days off with sympathy and then recycled the death because she got wind that she was going to get fired because of excessive absences. I mean, who would fire someone whose mom just died, right? Perfect way to save her job. And she may have pulled it off....but after returning to work last Friday...for one day...she called in sick again today......unfuckingbelieveable.
So, when someone sneezes, how many seconds do you have to say "God Bless You" or "Bless You" before it is no longer applicable? I say 15 seconds tops, that is your window. Anything beyond that 15 second window is a bit late.
Sometimes, especially at work, someone will sneeze and you'll kind of hear it because you are so focused on what you are doing...and you'll say "Bless You" on a delay...maybe 30 seconds later...and the person who sneezed will look at you like "Huh???"
So, just keep your "Bless You's" within that 15 second window.
Also, you have to wait until the series of sneezes are over. Sometimes you think they are a 2 sneeze person and you start to say "bless you" and it turns out they are a 3 or 4 sneeze individual.
Now what is the rule if someone sneezes a couple of times and you say "bless you" then about 3 minutes later they sneeze again? Do you have to "bless" them again or does the initial "bless" cover it?
So, Jen and I were walking Bruce in her neighborhood about a week ago and we came across this beat up 1970's car, I belive it is a Volare....no, not the Italian song, the car. Anyway, this thing looks like somehting the Son of Sam drove back in '77. Rusty, beat up, worth about $50 in the "blue book" or about $7.50 on Craigslist, yet it was fully "protected" with "The Club."
Now, this guy surely is living in the past....a 30 year old beat up car, with an 18 year old anti-theft device.
1) DOES HE REALLY THINK SOMEONE WANTS TO STEAL THIS CAR?????? 2) DOES HE REALLY THINK THE CLUB IS GOING TO STOP SOMEONE INSANE ENOUGH TO STEAL THIS CAR?????? 3) PERHAPS HE IS JUST GOING RETRO AND THE CLUB IS VINTAGE DECOR?????
I just don't know how people's minds work............
Some people have a "sixth sense" and can communicate with spirits and the dead. Some people can even make accurate predictions of events to come. Others can assist the police in solving crimes by possessing psychic abilities. My sense puts these all to shame.
When a TV show I am watching goes to commercial, I always channel surf. I check the score of the game, catch up on bits of news, and dozens of other things......the thing is, I always know exactly when the show I am really watching is back from commercial and go to that channel just as it is resuming from the commercial. Without fail, I am dead on with this. I know you are all impressed. This is the talent God has given me. As useless as it is, since I don't watch a lot of TV, it is something to boast about. What is your useless talent?
During a typical baseball season, I make it to Yankee Stadium at least six times. This year, I made it there ONCE! That was yesterday on the last scheduled regular season game. The Yankees won, and it looks like they'll be in the playoffs for the thirteenth consecutive year. I am excited. Back in May, it did not look good.
Anyway, despite the fun I had, there are quite a few annoyances involved when going to a live baseball game. I've been to regular season games, wild card games, league championship games, and world series games, and the annoyances are the same no matter the importance of the game.
I remember when the seventh inning stretch was fun! You'd get up and sing "Take Me Out To the Ballgame" and everyone would be happy. Since 9/11/01 the seventh inning stretch in NY is ridiculous and a fucking buzzkill. I've already stood an "honored America" with the National Anthem (and the Canadian one yesterday)...do we need to honor America, the troops, everyone who has died in this bullshit war, and every other "patriotic" thing during the seventh inning stretch????? The reason we all go to baseball games, movies, shows, etc is to take our minds off of the fucked up world in which we live. I don't need a half dozen reminders of it during a baseball game.
Then there is the asshole who needs to get up twenty five times during the game and make me get up from my seat and let him pass. I paid to see a baseball, not his balls in my face every five minutes. It is annoying. Buy two or three beers at a time and wear a fucking Depend....don't keep getting up.
Speaking of concessions. $9.50 for a can of beer???? Are you fucking kidding me? $9.50 a beer so A-Rod can drive his Mercedes and get a contract extension. F Him! Let him sign elsewhere. How can the average middle class family afford to go to a game? Say you have two kids.....between the ticket price, the parking, food, souvenirs.....it is a $300 day. Obscene. It's like..."I'll have 2 hotdogs, a pretzel, a large coke....and a loan application." Fuckers.
Then there is the filing out of the stadium....forty minutes behind people who haven't showered or worn deodorant since Carter was president......crazy.
I love the Yankees, I love the stadium, and I love the atmosphere.....but the annoyances take away from the fun...in a big way. So this year, I won't be attending any playoff games, no matter how far they go. I will be in the cozy confines of my home, sipping a $1.25 Vitamin Water, crunching on a huge $2.00 bag of doritos, going to a clean and uncrowded bathroom during the somber "Seventh Inning Stretch", and filing out to my room/bed in about 30 seconds after the game. There will be no smelly people, no getting up and down all night.....just me, my dog, and a 27th World Championship....
Now the parade...that's another story. See you there.
