When you REALLY think about it, Halloween is child abuse. One day every year we send kids out into the night to talk to strangers. Then when they get to the homes of these strangers, they accept candy from them. Then when they get home with all their treats, we throw away the one healthy snack, the apple, because it may have a razor blade in it and encourage the kids to eat all the sugar......
Candy corn? What is this crap? Why do we call it a "treat" if everyone hates it? We got rid of the Tony Danza show, yet we can't get rid of candy corn. Anyone who hands this shit out to kids today really wants them to die, but they just don't have the guts to stick the razor blade in that healthy apple.
If you forgot to buy Halloween candy, just say so. Don't hand out random crap from your kitchen. Last year, there was a guy on Sugar V's block who was handing out batteries and mini-packets of soy sauce. Sugar V got so pissed, he poked him in the eye with his fairy wand.
Women must admit that Halloween is just an excuse to dress like a whore. Ladies, nurses don't wear fishnet stockings. Kittens don't own pushup bras. Real French maids don't shave their underarms. Now — now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for women getting in touch with their "inner slut," but, 'fess up, Halloween has become less about candy and more about the "Haunted Ho's."
Banks must stop putting up Halloween decorations and open up another teller window. You're a bank, not a college dorm room. Your service charges are scary enough.
Have a great day!!!!!
4 comments:
Love the statement about "Inner Slut". I was just talking about this the other day how women use halloween to "Show it off". I'd rather dress up as Freddy Krueger or something to that affect. One year I was Howard Stern.
i love candy corn....but you have to be very careful when eating it 'cause it gives a very bad sugar high!
haunted ho's . . . hah!!
Candy corn....might as well gnaw on a candle. I can't stand the stuff.
I agree about the ho's. There was only one girl at the bar last wknd dressed as anything other than some sort of skanktified cop, pirate, nurse, maid or cat. That girl was me.
have a happy halloween charlie!
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