I have jotted a few "blog topics" down over the last few days that I have wanted to write about. But, I'll put those on hold today. While browsing other blogs today, I came across Kate's which I usually read whenever I have time to read other blogs. She posted yesterday about 10 things you want to say to people, but can't, or perhaps you can but probably never will, for whatever reason. The key is to not let others know who each statement is directed towards. I found this concept really cool. I may write one or two things I can and maybe will say to the person....but for now....here goes:

1) Twenty years? Where have they gone? I think of you every day and know that despite my flaws and the mistakes I've made in my life, you would have been in my corner every step of the way. Knowing that has gotten me through a lot. Thank you and I miss you!

2) When I think of you, I can't help but think of the song "Someone Saved My Life Tonight" by Elton John. Especially when he says "You almost had your hooks in me didn't you dear? You nearly had me roped and tied. Altar-bound, hypnotized. Sweet freedom whispered in my ear, You're a butterfly, and butterflies are free to fly. Fly away, high away, bye bye." How fitting. Meeting you changed my life, in a very bad way. I am grateful I had the strength, the intelligence, and the love for myself to finally break free of you and get my life back on the path it was on before we met.

3) In a family full of giving people how did you turn out so fucking selfish? No matter what crisis you faced in your life, I was always there. Then you turned your back on me. It bothered me for a long time, but now I am at peace and take things at face value. You were selfish as a kid, selfish as a teenager, and even more selfish as an adult. It will not bother me if we never speak again.

4) Since we are on the topic of selfishness, I may as well get you out of the way. Any friendship, relationship, living situation, etc., requires both parties to give as well as take. All you did was take. You only "gave" when you felt guilty and knew you were taking advantage of me and my goodness. The year I knew you felt like ten. I am glad you moved far away so I don't have to see you ever again.

5) You ruined this country. For six years I have had to sit back and watch scandal after scandal, casualty after casualty, and poor decision after poor decision. Not to mention arrogance, dishonesty, stupidity, ignorance, and self righteousness. Thank God your days are numbered.

6) Your friendship means more than you know. Your guidance, honesty, and candor helped me during a very difficult situation. Had you not been there, my life today would be on a completely different course. One that would have been harmful and toxic for me. Thanks for making me see the light.

7) Meeting you has inspired me and allowed me to believe in people again. As cynical as I am, you bring out that "naive" side of me that I had when I was younger and less jaded about the world. You bring out the best in me no matter how bad of a mood I may be in. I've realized that "this" is the way it is supposed to be...in every way. I am grateful each day to have you in my life.

8) You need to take a class or two about manners. You'll never get respect from anyone when you act the way you do. Respect has to be earned and should not be taken for granted. You can't lead people that don't respect or believe in you. You are rude, sarcastic, and downright mean. Bottom line, even if I told you this, you would not care.....selfish people usually don't.

9) People always say that someone can't be friends with an "ex" for some reason or another. I think we have proved that theory wrong. We genuinely don't see each other as "exes" but as friends. We have both found our special someone and I am so happy for both of us....I couldn't have scripted it any better if I tried. I value your friendship and can't wait for us to meet each other's significant other.

10) Last but not least. Your friendship means a lot to me, but I can't figure you out. I make an effort to keep the friendship going, but sometimes I don't feel the effort back. I initiate gatherings, activities, and nights/days out but feel like I get turned down 90% of the time. When we do see each other, which isn't often anymore, we always have a great time, lots of laughs, and good conversation...so I don't understand. We saw each other a lot last year when another party was involved, but since then, nothing. I don't get it.

On the topic of "Speaking Your Mind"...this ROCKS!!!!!