Mustard companies really need to start making mustard containers that don't squirt out yellow water before the actual mustard comes out. I bought some cold cuts tonight with a roll and French's proceeded to pee on my sandwich. Kind of takes my enthusiasm away for that sandwich. I guess I could shake the mustard a bit before using it, but f them, I am a consumer! Not only should they make mustard to my taste specifications, it should also give me my full day supply of vitamin C, whiten teeth, and give me a burst of energy......
Speaking of food, women of the Food Network have to stop faking orgasms when they taste their food. Half of that programming consists of cute, spunky women putting things in their mouth and giving us their "O" face. Which is why I can recite 23 different pasta recipes and 18 chicken recipes from memory, and I haven't cooked in months. Rachael Ray makes a 30-minute meal, and I'm finished in 20.
The Chinese community must explain why Chinese restaurants are never open for breakfast. There's a billion of them. They can't all be sleeping in......right???
Speaking of restaurants....I hate when they make you wait until the rest of your party has arrived. Any restaurant that makes you wait is calling you a liar. They're saying, "You have five friends?" "Yeah, we'll see." Listen up, Miss drunk-with-power-restaurant-hostess, when I say my friends are on the way, they're on the way. Soooo...get me to my table now or this is the LAST time I celebrate a birthday at IHOP!
6 comments:
Eeeeewwww! Mustard pee!
I hate that restaurant rule too - it really gets to me when they have multiple empty tables - it's not like my sitting at one of them waiting for my friend is going to cost them anything!
IHOP birthday celebrations are important. Next time tell her yes we are all here...just say your 5 friends are invisible. :)
Haha,Good one-"invisible" or "imaginary" friends. I saw this comedien once I forgot who but she walks into a restaurant with balloons a party hat and a noise maker and says "Party of One"!
I too hate the mustard water, but a vigorous shake does do the trick (I usually forget until after the mustard has peed on my bread and pissed me off, literally!)
Too funny about having fake friends, why do they care if you say you have a party of 4 and it is only 2, maybe you just wanted some room to maneuver your elbows while you eat!
Good call on the mustard. What IS up with that stuff?
They make you wait? I bet I've never been to such a high class joint where the seats are at that much of a premium.
Yep, Rachel Ray fakes a big food "o" out of shit she makes from cans and packages. I want to smack her. I almost died when she said that frozen gnocci from the grocer is just as good as homemade. I wish Lidia would enter a caged ring with her and take her manhands to take her down!
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