Get The Patron....

"I got my drink and my two step,
my drink and my two step,
got my drink and my two step,
my drink and my two step,
It’s on, it’s on, it’s on and I’m home,
get the patrone on and tell them that it's on"

If you are a fan of rap music (I definitely am) you'll notice that almost every song makes a reference to alcohol. Statistically, 76% of all rap songs mention alcohol. Of those songs, 54% mention a certain brand name of alcohol.

These days Patron Tequila is "the in" brand of alcohol that rappers "rap" about. It is mentioned in almost every current, popular rap song. I think this is quite comical. If I was an owner of an alcohol brand...why pay advertising dollars? Just make friends with a few rap stars and sales will soar.

For years, rappers talked about drinking "Gin and Juice." Tenqueray was the brand of choice. Then Hennessy was the "in" drink that rappers talked about. By the early to mid 90's, they were all about Alize. Then Cristal was the in drink....that was the case until Cristal's CEO "dissed" the rap world when asked how he felt about his brand being consumed by the hip hop crowd. He said "That's a good question, but what can we do? We can't forbid people from buying it. I'm sure Dom Pérignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business." After hearing that rapper Jay-z called for a ban of Cristal......we can't forget all the rappers that were "Loose on the Goose" making mention of Grey Goose brand vodka over the years either.

So, for now, Patron is the in drink....by next year...they will be rapping about something else....

I'll leave you with the VERY catchy "My Drink N' My Two Step" by Cassidy. I am hooked on this song...I sing this all day......

Pushing My "Buttons"

There are many things that annoy me on a given day at work. Working with morons, lazy fuckers, arrogant bosses, incompetent assholes, and people that grate on my nerves are just some of my daily annoyances...but one thing in particular pisses me off. The "forwarding of emails." Let me give you an example:

Joe Smith (my fictional co-worker) has a 3 or 4 back and forth email exchange with a supplier, a customer, or whomever. Joe Smith then decides it is something he wants ME to do. Fine, ok, if it pertains to my job, great. So what does Joe Smith do? He just forwards me the email with no explanation as to what I need to do with it. So, I have to scroll to the bottom of the email and follow the trail of emails back and forth from 1999 to finally figure out what the fuck I am supposed to do. Hey fucko, at least write me a line or two with the forward explaining what you want me to do.

Some of these email exchanges are so lengthy and date so far back..it is like this....

The big bang happens and the universe is formed.....
Dinosaurs roam the earth.....
The ice age comes....
Cro-Magnon man gets up and walks....
Fire is discovered....
The wheel is invented.....
Eli Whitney invents the cotton gin.....
The Civil War takes place......
WWII breaks out....
JFK is shot and killed......
Watergate.....
The 1st Gulf war....
Clinton wins a second term......
Oh...I see....they want me to order some printer toner today.....
FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!

Wild and Wacky Week....

You know it is a crazy week when a tornado hits Brooklyn, NY....yes a real tornado. Wednesday morning was one of the wildest weather mornings I have ever been a part of. I woke earlier than usual that morning...around 5am to low rumbles of thunder and some flashes of lightning. With each passing minute...the thunder got louder, the rain poured down heavier, and the lightning intensified. By 6am, it was insanity. I got out of bed to shower, like I normally do at 6am....and it was pitch black outside...complete with a wind driven rain.....

While I was in the shower, the lights flickered, the thunder boomed....sounding off car alarms on the block and causing Bruce to bark like crazy. Jen got up and got ready for our journey to drop Bruce off at his "friends" house for the day and the trip to the train station so she could head back home and I could go to work. We didn't expect to encounter rivers substituting for streets.......it was difficult to navigate. I finally got Jen and Bruce dropped off and 90 minutes later (normally 30 minutes) I was at work......

The week in general, was crazy. Busy at work....heat and humidity that was almost unbearable.....and just plain hectic....I am welcoming the weekend already.

Anyway...I heard about this video clip on the radio...and you all should watch.....it is about 8 minutes...but well worth it. It depicts nature at it's meanest and it's finest.....truly a good watch! And a "real" happy ending...not a Hollywood one! Enjoy Friday!

A NEW CLUB

Maybe it is just me aging and not giving a shit anymore...but I honestly have to say that I dislike 9 out of every 10 people I come across. What happened to the Charlie of old? I used to LOVE everyone and go out of my way for everyone....now I only do it for a VERY select few.

I remember when I was in my early 20's...I was a naive young man who thought everyone was looking out for me. I saw the best in everyone. I guess I was about 22 or so when I had a conversation with the father of a girl I was dating at the time. Ralph was a big shot on Wall Street who was the most cynical bastard you'd ever meet. Anyway, he hated just about everyone. For some reason, he took a liking to me. He'd invite me over for dinner almost every night because he enjoyed my humor and I used to make everyone in the house laugh. Being that my girlfriend's mom was dying of breast cancer...the humor broke up the sadness in the house. Anyway...we'd sit and have a beer or two and talk about the world around us. I remember him telling me how naive I was, how I thought everyone was looking out for me and how I thought those around me had my best interests in mind. He told me flat out that most people I would deal with and come across in my life would be looking out for themselves and really not give a shit about me. I laughed at him and told him to lighten up...that he was a pessimist. Looking back...this guy was dead on.

In many ways, I wish I was still that naive 22 year old. I kind of lived in my own little world and really wasn't exposed to bitter, selfish, and miserable people. Either that....or they were around me, but I had my head up my ass. Let's face it, at 22 all you think about is getting laid and making enough money to pay your bills, having enough left over to hang with your friends.

My problem....my biggest issue today is that I expect people to think the way I think...and it never happens. I am talking about logical ways of thinking, unselfish ways of thinking. Before I do something at home or work...I think of how it will affect others.....many people don't think that way. Let me give you some examples....

One of my roommates is home ALL day...she is a teacher and has the summer off. So, instead of doing her laundry during the day when nobody is home...she waits until night time when me and the other roommate need to do ours. WHY????? Either that or she will START her laundry....load up the washer and dryer...then go out.....leaving both machines useless to the both of us. I know, some of you may be thinking this is petty....but it is just a small example of how people think.....or don't think...of anyone but themselves. This is the same person who sits and does "pilates" on the living room floor for 30 minutes to "lose weight" then when she is finished cooks herself a Hee-Man breakfast consisting of eggs, sausage, and cheese.

I come across this behavior at work, at the supermarket, at home, everywhere.

What about the fucking idiots who stand in the entrance of a store rummaging through their purses for coupons, or reading the weekly sale flyer? Wouldn't logic or simple consideration for others tell them that the main entrance to the store may not be a good place to do this....to maybe pull off to the side so others can pass through? It is the same moron who hasn't discovered the debit card yet. They would rather write a check....and not start filling it out until the groceries are packed and loaded in the cart while the line behind them goes from two people to ten people. I guess they are in no hurry to get home to play their 8-tracks while their TV dinner cooks for 2 hours in the "conventional oven."

At work....people will do ANYTHING to get something off their desk and on to someone else's. They do their job with no concern of how their actions will affect other people and other departments. They just want to be rid of something. Their favorite "button" is the "forward" button..that's all they do...forward emails originally sent to them that need action...they are even too fucking lazy to write any text of their own explaining what it is they want you to do...instead these cocksuckers expect you to read a ten page email trail starting at the very bottom.....

Don't get me wrong....I am happy with my life. I have a great relationship, a crazy, but wonderful dog, my finances are the best they have been in years, I am back in pretty good physical shape, and I enjoy my down time. But I really don't like many of the people I am exposed to daily......I hate the lack of logical thought or lack of consideration for others.....

So today....I am starting the "KISS MY ASS CLUB" and each week I will be inducting someone new into this club.

This week's inductee: My roommate Michelle.