For the last week or so, I have not written much on here. I've been a daily writer on here for the last 18 months and have enjoyed it quite a bit. Lately, I have felt uninspired about writing and about this blog. It has not been because I am out of ideas or things to say, that will never happen. The reason I have not written is because I felt I could not be "myself" on here. I thought about shutting this site down and starting anonymously on another site where nobody knows me. Upon further review, I decided to stay. I also decided to get back to saying what I want to say like in the early days of this blog. For the last few months, I've felt like I had to censor what I say on here as not to offend certain people. That ends today. If I offend you, too bad, then don't do anything to piss me off.
For the last 2.5 years I lived with someone who was a terrific person but who eroded away the real Charlie. Sure there was bitterness towards me when I left, but I was okay with that. For the first time in 2.5 years I did what I wanted to do and I wasn't "along for the ride" making someone or some people happy. I made myself happy by leaving the situation. Perhaps it was something I should have done sooner and perhaps I should have been more candid about my true feelings, but for 2.5 years I did what was best for everyone else and not for me until I woke up one day. It wasn't until the new year 2006 when I woke up and acted on my feelings.
My point, I am tired of being who everyone else wants me to be. I want to be me. I want to write what I feel, say what I feel, act upon my feelings, and do what makes ME happy. If you want eloquent writing, this isn't the place for you. If you want book reviews, recipes, cute stuff, movie reviews, and a ton of other fluff, this place isn't for you. I have had a loyal following for the last 18 months and I hope those people stick around.
If you want raw opinions, venting of frustrations, comedy, calling assholes out when they need to be called out, stuff that actually makes you think and feel, then this is your place. Although I have always been as honest as I could on here, I wrote with concern for what others will think and feel. I won't do that anymore. There's a next blog and a delete button on your computer, use them if you have any issues pertaining to what I say. I know most of you understand exactly what I mean and probably sugar coat a lot of what you say on your blogs as well, silly isn't it?
So starting with my next post, I will air out what I feel the way I want to air it out.
10 comments:
I think what you just posted was eloquent. Not all writing has to be lofty to be eloquent. Hemingway was eloquent, and he hardly used any adjectives! I am looking forward to reading your upcoming posts.
we would only want the real charlie to write and say what he feels. i love that we can agree to disagree...you've proven that you can hear both sides and people can respond the way they want without you getting personal. i've loved this blog since i started coming here last year, and as long as you're writing, i'll keep coming back. :)
Wow-I had no idea Bruce was so hard to live with :)
I love your blog and especially love the days when you are all piss and vinegar.
I, for one, say "Bring it!"
We love the real C-Mac. The real C-Mac is interesting. Although I wouldn't mind a good recipe once in a while. Pecorino in the sauce anyone?
thats the bloggers woe! While some things are private, some things are better to get out, and have others give their opinion on. Most people relate to anything you have to say, good or bad. That's the way it should be, it's your blog =)
I still find myself censoring things on my blog, as there are certain people in my regular life that read that I would like to bitch about, but prefer not to incite the drama that would follow by a blog-rant.
That's what my other blog is for. ;)
i censore stuff too, but no more!!!!
Vent and post the real stuff! That's the stuff I love!
Even though I sound like a screwed up one sometimes..I don't care. I think I just post what I "need" to. You know? It's hard to live with a drunk and feel like it's too hard to leave, but I post it. I don't care anymore. That's why I started my blog in the first place.
Go for it baby. I look forward to it!
xoxo
Christie
So wait . . . does this mean we're going to get our old C-Mac back? Please say yes! I miss the old C-Mac.
go charlie!
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