Since moving into our new home in July, I've been exposed to children more than I ever have been in my entire life. Yeah, I managed a Discovery Zone fun center years ago, but it was a job, and my responsibilities were to manage the facility and make sure the place was turning a profit. So, I didn't get too involved with the children.
Since leaving Long Beach six months ago, a town where most people are single, child-free, and care-free...I've been around families and children on a regular basis. Since joining Facebook and getting back in touch with old friends, neighbors, and co-workers, I've noticed that over 90% of them are now married with kids, divorced with kids, or just have a kid and were never married. People I NEVER thought would get married are, and people who I never thought would have kids, have them...it is stunning.
Anyway, I've noticed a trend with just about every couple/person with children. They have NO identity. They post profile pictures of their kids instead of themselves, everything they talk/write about is about what their kids are doing, they talk about PTA meetings, school conferences, child illnesses, soccer practices, report cards, and a host of other boring topics. Jen and I watch our neighbors chauffeur their kids around constantly...ballet, dance, soccer, play dates....these people are in their 30's and look/feel like they are in their 50's from the constant running around and lack of peace. They celebrate when their kids go back to school or are out on a play date because they can get some quiet time or relaxation in...maybe even SEX!
On New Years Eve, we were invited to our next door neighbor's house. They are a great couple.....they have two young boys (5 and 8). They had about 40 kids there and about 25 or so adults. The kids stayed downstairs, for the most part, and played, had a magician there, etc. Well, when Jen and I arrived, we stood out from the crowd. People came up to us and thought we were 10 years younger than we were...for real....and asked "What are you doing here?"....in disbelief that two young people without kids would be at a party like that.
I promised my neighbor I would do the music for the party. Well, when I started playing the music, these housewives started dancing like manaics...as if they had not been out in YEARS!!!! Jen and I were just standing and watching this all unfold. They all were raving about how much fun they were having, how great the music was, they were getting hammered on martinis...it was quite the scene. It just made me realize that once again, these people had kids, and everything they now do revolves around the kids...and they have no fun, no identity.
Sure, seeing your kids at Christmas all excited must be a thrill...but Christmas comes once a year! I truly don't know how these people do it 24/7/365. I am glad I met and am marrying a woman with the same views on kids as I have... which is "Thanks, but NO THANKS!" In my opinion, there is definitely a lot more to life than a minivan, parent/teacher conferences, play dates, doctor visits, homework, and driving kids around....it's called actually living!
2 comments:
The thing I wonder about with all these families too is money. In I've seen that often the wife is a stay-at-home mom if the kids are small. How do they afford to feed and clothe their families after paying a mortgage on one salary, if it is less than a quarter of a million dollars? I think I finally get where all that credit card debt people carry comes from.
So much different today. We didn't have cell phone bills,internet connectons to pay for,designer clothes. Where I get my hair cut the woman who cuts my hair said girls would come in to get their hair done for their proms a we before to see if they liked it and then come in for prom day and pay another 45.00.
I used to walk to cheerleading practice although maybe not a ssafe today. And belonged to Chorus. I mean how many things do kids need to belong to?
Besides who wants to stick them with the Bush/Obama deficit.
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