How Long Will They Mourn Me?

  

No matter how famous you are, or how much you've contributed to mankind, when you pass on, life for everyone else goes on. Time keeps on going and the sun rises the next day regardless. It is kind of strange how we can be here one day and gone the next.

Personally, I am not afraid of death. I am more afraid of not living and fulfilling my purpose on the earth before I go. Some people know their purpose at a young age, some find it later on, others never discover their purpose.

Artists, musicians, actors, athletes, and people of that nature seem to live on after they die. Beethoven, for example, passed away in 1827, yet when we play his music, he somehow lives on. When we look at a DaVinci masterpiece he lives on despite passing away in 1519...almost 500 years ago. Babe Ruth died in 1948, but he lives on in film footage and the baseball record books. All these people left something behind for all of us and in a way, they are immortal because of the great work or great deeds they did when they were alive.

I have yet another birthday in two weeks, and even though I am still young, I wonder what it is I will leave behind. What will my "legacy" be? If it is this blog, I am in deep shit, huh? One hundred years from now, I doubt anyone will come across this website and think a genius wrote it.

I hope my deeds will somehow be remembered by those I have touched. My problem all my life is trying to make everyone happy even if I wasn't. It really bothers me and stays with me when I hurt someone else, or I disappoint them, but it's part of life I suppose. It has always been a tough thing for me to deal with, and I have had a difficult time saying no to people even though I have wanted to. Then when I finally do say no, or do what I want to do and I upset or hurt someone, it stays with me for a long time. I suppose I worry too much about being remembered in a positive light by people that have come in and out of my life. Crazy, huh?

What do you think your legacy will be, what will you leave behind for the rest of us?

Maneaters?

  

I'm not sure about you, but I always thought Hall and Oates were "maneaters." There was always something strange about these two guys. Sure, they are the best selling duo of all time, and they had some great songs, but something just does not sit right with me when it comes to those guys.

Perhaps it is John Oates' 1970's gay porn moustache that gives me that vibe. Perhaps it is the lyrics to "maneater" that gave me this idea. Perhaps the memory of these two in trenchcoats in the "Private Eyes" video that has scarred me for life. Whatever it is, these guys are definitely in the homo hall of fame.

Speaking of which, The Sugar V, aka the "ass man" is always making references to anal sex, tossing "salads", and anything that has to do with the ass. So, in the spirit of Hall and Oates and with my lyrical talent, Weird Al style....I wrote a little musical parody based on the lyrics to "Maneater." This one is dedicated to The Sugar V and it's called "Ass-eater"

He only comes out at night
The sweet and sugar type
Nothing is new, I've seen him here before
Watching and waiting
He's sitting with you but his eyes are on your back door
He'll get down on his knee
He'll even do it for free
The man is wild, he'll lick it like it's caviar
Anal's the matter
If you're in it for love you ain't gonna get too far

Oh here he cums
Watch out boy he'll chew you up
Oh here he cums
He's an ass-eater
Oh here he cums
Watch out boy he'll chew you up
Oh here he cums
He's an ass-eater

I wouldn't if I were you
I know what hhe can do
He's deadly man, and he could really rip your ass apart
Mind over matter
The sausage is there but an ass is in his heart

Oh here he cums
Watch out boy he'll chew you up
Oh here he cums
He's an ass-eater
Oh here he cums
Watch out boy he'll chew you up
Oh here he cums
He's an ass-eater

Have a great day everyone!

Sweet Freedom!

  

I took a much needed vacation day today from work. I got caught up on some errands and some stuff around the house. As I drove to get my spare bbq propane tank filled, I happened to get behind a school bus carrying elementary school kids that was making it's final drop off for the 2005-2006 school year. These kids all came off the bus with these manila envelopes in hand which I assume are their final report cards. As they stepped off the bus, each one of them did some kind of cheer, pumped their fist, did a dance, one kid even flipped the bus the middle finger as it drove off. It brought back memories of that last day of school feeling we all used to get, a feeling of liberation and enthusiasm each second to last Friday in June growing up would bring.

The last day of school always gave me mixed emotions as a kid. I did enjoy school and I was always sad when it would end because it meant not getting together with the class each day, it meant a new teacher the following year, and it meant change on the horizon. However, the immediate pleasure the last day of school brought outweighed any melancholy feelings. The start of a 10 week hiatus complete with spending all day at the baseball field, in the pool, playing manhunt in the woods, bbq's, the beach, trips, staying up late, and all the other amazing things summer always brought with it.

As I was stopped behind the flashing red lights of the school bus today, I hoped that the kids who were pumping their fists and celebrating would savor this and the many childhood summers they have ahead of them. Although I wouldn't want to be 8 years old again, there is something to be said about the innocence of summertime and the memories it brings.

Summer is here indeed, I hope everyone savors and enjoys it whether you are 8 or 80!

Overheard At The Beach

I hope you all had an amazing weekend. Mine was nice and enjoyable. Since the beginning of May, the weather here in NY hasn't been so nice. It was rainy and not to warm there for a while. About a week ago, summer arrived and my town of Long Beach, NY really came alive.

This weekend I finally got "on" the beach, as in bringing the chair, the towel, and all the other stuff and actually sitting/laying out for a while. When I first got there, it was pretty empty. I say got there like it was an hour drive instead of the 45 seconds it actually takes to get to the beach from my house on foot. Anyway, I closed my eyes for about 20 minutes and soaked up the sun. When I opened my eyes, the beach suddenly became packed and there were people all around me laying out and enjoying the summer weather as well.

As I rested, cell phones started ringing within an ear shot of where I was sitting. First this early 20-something girl answered her phone and bitched about her phone reception. It was her friend "Steph." She rambled on about her Friday Night with her boyfriend. How they went for dinner and ice cream then went back to his house and that she was bored as he watched some motorcycle racing show on TV. She then proceeded to talk about her having sex with him and mentioned that the dog always tries to get in the bed with them while they are fucking. She told her friend that he has no bedroom door so they can't keep the dog out. She also mentioned that when she was riding him, the dog was sniffing her ass and that it killed the mood. She said she got poff of him and went in the bathroom all upset. At that point, I had to cover my mouth with the towel so she couldn't see or hear me laugh. What is wrong with people? I don't have any problem with what she said, but how could she have no shame?

About 20 minutes later some dude's cell phone rang a couple of chairs over from where I was laying. He starts telling whoever was on the line that he picked up some fat chick at a bar on Friday Night and that when he took her home he was to drunk to get hard and fuck her. He went into graphic detail about her trying to get him hard for an hour and how it wouldn't move. He then proceeds to say that he went down on her and that it was nasty. Do we need to hear this on a relaxing day at the beach??????

To cap it off, another phone rang right next to me. This time it was a married woman talking to some dude she is apparently having an affair with. She told him she can't call him from her cell anymore because her husband saw the cell phone bill and was questioning all the numbers he did not recognize. In the same breath she asks him when they were getting together this upcoming week. "No, Monday is no good, I have to take Jonathan (I assume her son) to practice." Then he did most of the talking as she just agreed with whatever he was saying. She finally says, "oh ok, Wednesday is good, I will tell him I am going to the mall for a few hours, that should give us time." Again, I don't care what this woman does, but whatever happened to discretion? Does this woman WANT to get caught?

A few years ago, I never would have heard any of these conversations. With the advancement of technology comes some good little beach tales to discuss here on my blog. What's the wackiest phone conversation you ever overheard?

Where Have You Gone, CMAC??????

That is the question I’ve been asked by people in the blog and non-blog world. I am still here. My nights, which used to include my daily postings here at the Beach, now consist of running, enjoying the summer weather and the town. In addition, work has been crazy and really draining my thoughts and creativity. I suppose I needed the break, but I am definitely going to get back to daily posts on here. How are you all doing?

I think most of us enjoy dining out. Not having to cook, getting served, and relaxing is a nice change of pace from having to cook and clean yourself. There are, however, many pitfalls to dining out. We all know we are at the mercy of those fuckers cooking in the back. We all can just hope they washed their hands after that 20 minute shit earlier in the night. We can also just hope and pray the roach problem back there isn’t too bad and that our steak wasn’t dragged across the floor before making its way to our plate. Those are the obvious pitfalls though. There are a bunch of smaller, very annoying things that I hate when dining out.

A nice cold salad on a hot plate that just came out of the dishwasher. Really, there is nothing like lettuce and tomato and a toasty 120 degrees and a mayonnaise based dressing at the same temperature. Would it kill them to cool down the plates before loading up my greens?

Rationing of napkins. I can’t stand being given one paper napkin for a 3 course meal. How is that supposed to survive even the messy appetizer course? Drop a pile of napkins on the table fucker!

Speaking of appetizers, please give me a chance to take a fucking bite out of them before bringing the main course!

I want my drink cold, but I also want some liquid to drink. Easy on the ice asshole. One suck of the straw and the beverage is gone.

DRY off the table after wiping it down BEFORE you seat me. Is that too much to ask?

Don’t bring me my check while I am eating dinner. Who are you, Miss fucking Cleo that you know I am not going to want another drink or dessert?

Don’t try to rush me out after my meal. I will sit and talk nonsense, just like I do here on “Bored at the Beach” until the fuckin’ place closes if you piss me off.

What pisses you off at restaurants?

Just Like Poison

  

Is there someone or something in your life that is like poison? Something or someone that you know is bad, really bad for you, yet you still take it in small, medium, or large doses?

What is it with all of us? We all have weaknesses for food, drugs, alcohol, sex, tobacco, and a ton of other things. The funniest part to me is when we are doing this "bad" thing or taking this "poison" we are well aware of what it is doing to us either physically or emotionally, yet we continue on and live for that very moment...only to regret our action or decision moments after doing it.

Have you ever dated someone that you KNEW was so wrong for you yet you continued on because either the sex was good, you were lonely, or for some other foolish reason? You'd be hooked on seeing them, yet when you were with them it completely sucked, yet you kept going back, why?

There are warning labels on cigarettes, alcohol, and prescription drugs. There are "nutrition labels" on foods that clearly state how bad they are for us, yet we continue to consume them, why? Do we all have the mentality that "it won't happen to me" or that "I won't get sick or hooked on this stuff"?

We all have a "poison" whether it be a person, a substance, an action....what's yours?

Another Amendment?

  

So, now that gas prices are $3.50 a gallon, Iraq is in total chaos, our soldiers are perishing by the dozen, Osama is still on the loose, the gap between the rich and the poor is growing, and about 20 other things that really need the attention of our government, the President is back on his No Gay Marriage Amendment crusade. What the fuck is wrong with him and these religious nuts?

I say if you are a man and you don't like to suck cock, then don't. If you are a woman that does not like the taste of another woman's pussy, then don't lick one. But for God's sake, go about your own business and let others do what they want to do. Do we really need a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT that bans gay marriage? I don't think so.

I am sure our founding fathers would be proud. Can you picture this fine document with something so foolish added to it? Amendments that abolished slavery, gave women the right to vote, gave us the right to free speech, voting ages set, etc...then all of a sudden you scroll down and read "No man shall suck another man's cock and be married to him nor shall two women bang each other with toys in the privacy of their own home." Come on already. The country is beyond fucked with all the real problems, let's worry about fixing our fuck-ups rather than worrying about who's fucking who.

You want some new amendments? Start with limiting campaign contributions. Stop these corporations from buying our Presidents into office. Want another Amendment? Require an IQ test for every Presidential candidate. Lord knows we needed an IQ test back in 2000. Want another one? Make English the official language of our country and spare me the 20 menu choices when I make a phone call or go to take a $20 out of an ATM. I could go on and on, and I'd love to hear your proposed Amendments, but the gay marriage issue needs to stop....today!

Spanking the Monkey

  

Although I am lucky enough to get plenty of sex whenever I want it, I am still one to "spank the monkey" whenever possible. I wonder where the term "spank the monkey" came from. What does pleasuring myself have to do with a monkey? Anyway, that's not the point.

The point is, masturbation for me is as much of a daily routine as brushing my teeth, going to the bathroom, or eating. It is something that has to be done at least once, usually twice daily. Even if I have sex once or multiple times in a day, I still muster up the energy and enthusiasm to "rub one out." Some may think I have issues or I am "sick in the head." Well if jerking off whenever I can is "sick" then lock me in a padded room now! After all, there are two types of people in this world; people who masturbate and admit it and people who masturbate and deny it.

Anyway, the point of this post is to let you all know that after 18 years or so of jerking off, I need to come up with some new and creative ways to do it. I mean, what can a guy really do to get creative, switch hands? Then it just feels like a new "date" and you'll get used to that as well. I am talking something really creative. Women have it easy in the masturbation department. There are a million toys and gadgets you all use to assist in the activity. We have nothing. I am too lazy to get up and pop in a porn to jerk off, and my imagination is vivid enough anyway. I have a "rotation", sort of like a pitching staff in baseball, of women I jerk off about. Every so often someone gets dropped from the rotation and a new woman gets added....just to keep it interesting.

When you are in a relationship with someone, do you fantasize about them while masturbating? I do occasionally, but why spend a nice jerk-off on someone you can have sex with anytime? I say save the fantasy for celebrities, porn stars, some bitch at work, or anyone else you can't have. I have my rotation, some participate in the lesbian scenes, some don't.

Jerking off has kept me out of trouble over the years. If it wasn't for masturbation my number of sexual partners would be at least 4x what it is today. I can't tell you how many times "back in the day" a really annoying casual female "friend" wanted to fuck and I would speak to her on the phone and agree to meet up with her for sex at her place. But then, I would think about the calls after, the annoyance, the hassle, the long ride to her house, so I'd jerk off to relieve my tension, then call her back with an excuse as to why I could not make it over. AAAAAHHHHHHH, how nice, I can put on the Yankee game now, shut off my phone, even make a sandwich if I wanted, then just roll over and go to sleep without any excuses.

Is there anything worse then the feeling AFTER you have sex with someone you really aren't into? The bullshit excuses of why you have to leave after you both get off are great. Suddenly I was a farmer that had to be up at 4am to harvest crops. In some cases, I'd be making excuses BEFORE my pants even came off. I'd be talking about leaving, projects at work, you name it, before the sex even started. I hated that feeling. Sex with meaning and with someone you are into is so much better isn't it?

That's why, whether you are in love, getting sex every day, having casual sex, or getting no sex at all, masturbation was, is, and always will be king. Now, if I could just find some new ways to do it..............

Time To Put on the Gloves

  

For the last week or so, I have not written much on here. I've been a daily writer on here for the last 18 months and have enjoyed it quite a bit. Lately, I have felt uninspired about writing and about this blog. It has not been because I am out of ideas or things to say, that will never happen. The reason I have not written is because I felt I could not be "myself" on here. I thought about shutting this site down and starting anonymously on another site where nobody knows me. Upon further review, I decided to stay. I also decided to get back to saying what I want to say like in the early days of this blog. For the last few months, I've felt like I had to censor what I say on here as not to offend certain people. That ends today. If I offend you, too bad, then don't do anything to piss me off.

For the last 2.5 years I lived with someone who was a terrific person but who eroded away the real Charlie. Sure there was bitterness towards me when I left, but I was okay with that. For the first time in 2.5 years I did what I wanted to do and I wasn't "along for the ride" making someone or some people happy. I made myself happy by leaving the situation. Perhaps it was something I should have done sooner and perhaps I should have been more candid about my true feelings, but for 2.5 years I did what was best for everyone else and not for me until I woke up one day. It wasn't until the new year 2006 when I woke up and acted on my feelings.

My point, I am tired of being who everyone else wants me to be. I want to be me. I want to write what I feel, say what I feel, act upon my feelings, and do what makes ME happy. If you want eloquent writing, this isn't the place for you. If you want book reviews, recipes, cute stuff, movie reviews, and a ton of other fluff, this place isn't for you. I have had a loyal following for the last 18 months and I hope those people stick around.

If you want raw opinions, venting of frustrations, comedy, calling assholes out when they need to be called out, stuff that actually makes you think and feel, then this is your place. Although I have always been as honest as I could on here, I wrote with concern for what others will think and feel. I won't do that anymore. There's a next blog and a delete button on your computer, use them if you have any issues pertaining to what I say. I know most of you understand exactly what I mean and probably sugar coat a lot of what you say on your blogs as well, silly isn't it?

So starting with my next post, I will air out what I feel the way I want to air it out.