A "Seventh Sense"

Some people have a "sixth sense" and can communicate with spirits and the dead. Some people can even make accurate predictions of events to come. Others can assist the police in solving crimes by possessing psychic abilities. My sense puts these all to shame.

When a TV show I am watching goes to commercial, I always channel surf. I check the score of the game, catch up on bits of news, and dozens of other things......the thing is, I always know exactly when the show I am really watching is back from commercial and go to that channel just as it is resuming from the commercial. Without fail, I am dead on with this. I know you are all impressed. This is the talent God has given me. As useless as it is, since I don't watch a lot of TV, it is something to boast about. What is your useless talent?

The American Pastime Past It's Prime?

During a typical baseball season, I make it to Yankee Stadium at least six times. This year, I made it there ONCE! That was yesterday on the last scheduled regular season game. The Yankees won, and it looks like they'll be in the playoffs for the thirteenth consecutive year. I am excited. Back in May, it did not look good.

Anyway, despite the fun I had, there are quite a few annoyances involved when going to a live baseball game. I've been to regular season games, wild card games, league championship games, and world series games, and the annoyances are the same no matter the importance of the game.

I remember when the seventh inning stretch was fun! You'd get up and sing "Take Me Out To the Ballgame" and everyone would be happy. Since 9/11/01 the seventh inning stretch in NY is ridiculous and a fucking buzzkill. I've already stood an "honored America" with the National Anthem (and the Canadian one yesterday)...do we need to honor America, the troops, everyone who has died in this bullshit war, and every other "patriotic" thing during the seventh inning stretch????? The reason we all go to baseball games, movies, shows, etc is to take our minds off of the fucked up world in which we live. I don't need a half dozen reminders of it during a baseball game.

Then there is the asshole who needs to get up twenty five times during the game and make me get up from my seat and let him pass. I paid to see a baseball, not his balls in my face every five minutes. It is annoying. Buy two or three beers at a time and wear a fucking Depend....don't keep getting up.

Speaking of concessions. $9.50 for a can of beer???? Are you fucking kidding me? $9.50 a beer so A-Rod can drive his Mercedes and get a contract extension. F Him! Let him sign elsewhere. How can the average middle class family afford to go to a game? Say you have two kids.....between the ticket price, the parking, food, souvenirs.....it is a $300 day. Obscene. It's like..."I'll have 2 hotdogs, a pretzel, a large coke....and a loan application." Fuckers.

Then there is the filing out of the stadium....forty minutes behind people who haven't showered or worn deodorant since Carter was president......crazy.

I love the Yankees, I love the stadium, and I love the atmosphere.....but the annoyances take away from the fun...in a big way. So this year, I won't be attending any playoff games, no matter how far they go. I will be in the cozy confines of my home, sipping a $1.25 Vitamin Water, crunching on a huge $2.00 bag of doritos, going to a clean and uncrowded bathroom during the somber "Seventh Inning Stretch", and filing out to my room/bed in about 30 seconds after the game. There will be no smelly people, no getting up and down all night.....just me, my dog, and a 27th World Championship....

Now the parade...that's another story. See you there.